Mutant Chronicles (2008)

Best movie of this year hands down!

As Good As It Gets

There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

It is both painfully honest and laugh-out-loud funny at the same time.

So i'm going to start off by stating that the 5 star rating I gave this film was simply because i enjoyed the acting of Thomas Jane. He was the only real stand-out performance in this, maybe thats because other's didnt have much of a chance to really shine but I can say that Ron Pealman and Devon Aoki were particularly bad! Ron just looked board and his accent constantly switched from American to almost-sort of-kinda-maybe Irish? I think?? Either that or he has a medical condition that I was not aware of, In which case, I'm sorry.Devon, We,, She was just BAD. I mean, like, REALLY CAN'T ACT. I remember her from Sin City as a intriguing, silent but deadly character, Maybe she should have adopted that persona for this movie as every time she spoke, it was as if a psychopath wishing you a happy birthday -Soulless.So, As the titale of this review states, I reckon most of the budget was gobbled up by the cast-ESPECIALLY John Malkovich, who was only in it for a short time amd then buggared off. His performance was relatively solid but thats to be expected.The special effects, Sometimes worked and the CGI sometimes actually gave the film a bit of charm and fit "its look and feel", But for the most part they were really badly done and brought you out of the movie as you could see the CGI farting in your face.General pros and cons, Some pros, Supporting cast were a mixed-bag, Some commanded each scene they were in and had my full attention. The setting of a futuristic/WW2/WW1 world felt pretty cool and interesting.Some cons, Choppy editing, Some scenes just came out of nowhere and it felt as though some scenes may have been cut that would have served a purpose for story telling so it just got confusing at times, Lazy writing, Bad bit-parts, but they were probably just happy to be in a film, action was garbadge, Some B-movies can save themselves with interesting and well shot fight or action scenees but these were all just generic shot-to-shot rubbish and a blurr so by the end of it, you haven't seen what happened but you just look at whoes dead to guess what happened.All in all, Rubbish, Actually, I'm going to change my rating to a 4, HA, Take that people with more money and talent than I.

The situation: A Machine from space, buried somewhere under Poland since the ice age, has been unearthed and is spewing out hordes of "mutants" (distinguishable from standard Hollywood zombies primarily by their giant claw). Despite their last attempt being foiled by the advanced technology of the neolithic era, the mutants are able to drive 28th century humanity to the brink of destruction in under two months.The obvious solution is the Ripley Gambit: "I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."The alternative obvious solution is for the combined militaries of the four megacorporations that rule earth to converge on the Machine and wipe out the mutants.The significantly less obvious solution is this:Gather a single squad of soldiers, mixing troops from all the megacorps, who have more experience fighting against each other than together. Airlift them to Canaan. Send them into the tunnels that they can use to sneak into the Machine in nearby Poland (and wasn't it nice of the mutants to stay behind the seal when there was apparently a back door?). Once there, they will put back the Device which was taken from the Machine (for no apparent reason) ten thousand years ago. We THINK the Device is some kind of bomb, but we don't actually know. We do, however, know that it requires a separate Trigger, which the team will also carry. And a separate Key. Which we DO NOT HAVE, but will blindly assume that the squad will be able to find somewhere in the Machine. For some reason. The squad will detonate the Device, destroying the Machine and saving humanity. Should anything go wrong with this flawless plan, we will have absolutely zero alternatives, contingencies or backups. If this plan fails, "every man, woman and child on this planet will die".Guess which solution this film goes with. The others aren't even discussed. No others are.That a fictional character thinks this is a good plan is ridiculous writing. That a dozen other fictional characters, some of them experienced soldiers and officers, agree to it is ludicrous writing. That is works almost perfectly takes us all the way into the plaid zone.And it's far from the stupidest thing in this story. I think that award goes to the rescue of an officer who was captured within spitting distance of the seal just after it was broken. The team finds him in the tunnels being dragged towards the machine to be turned into a mutant. SIX WEEKS LATER. The mutant has presumably dragged him on the scenic route, via Bulgaria. And kept him adequately fed and hydrated. Which is nice of him.The inane plot is probably the weakest point of the film, but not by far. Between the dialogue and the acting (and I KNOW several of these actors are capable of much better performances than this) the characters universally lack character. The CGI varies wildly, sometimes flawless, sometimes laughable.On to the faint praise: The action scenes aren't generally awful. Or memorable. Monster makeup and effects are fine, shame the design is so unimaginative.As an adaptation of the Mutant Chronicles games: It isn't. From the fine details (the 6th letter of Capitol) to the broadest generalisation (the entire concept of the Dark Legion), there is nothing here but a few names: MC, the four megacorps (no Cybertronic), a few characters. And these are all "In Name Only". As a random glaring example: Valerie Duval, Asian Mishiman single mother.There are a few films which stand out as examples of how not to make an adaptation. Catwoman. Fant4stic. Judge Dredd. Uwe Boll. The Last Airbender. They fail on the counts of both making a good film and of making a faithful adaptation.Mutant Chronicles is worse than most of them on the first count and worse than any of them on the second.

An entertaining movie about heroes saving the earth, old school style, going on a mission knowing that everyone is going to die. The overall feeling of the movie is a bit like as I imagine Warhammer 40K. Everything is dark and gloomy, and mankind is on the verge of extinction. Marvelous what a nice good old fashioned sci fi movie!!!The acting is (maybe deliberately) kept bland and straightforward, reflecting the dark and almost hopeless situation of mankind. But despite and maybe because of the "bad" special effects I felt myself being drawn into the movie, some how the movie appeared ancient, outdated like it itself was dying, and the obvious scenery had a certain charm as if I was viewing a motion picture comic book with real humans trapped in a world they have no power over, but they persevere, yes a hardiness of spirit keeps them going, even though there is no hope.Worth a watch for...who the hell should I know. Maybe I have no taste ;), but I enjoyed watching this movie.

Watching this movie was sort of like watching "Sucker Punch" not really shocked this is based off of a video game a little. I am surprised at some of the actors that showed up in this movie. The soldiers look like they are from WW2 even the era seems the same except few high tech machines. It's obvious this movie had a very limited budget cause the special effects doesn't look all that realistic, but on a positive note I like the style of this movie. It seemed like a mix between a graphic novels and video games. The direction of it all including the characters seemed very video game like and not really in a good way either. The story is basically about a group of video game like soldiers trying to win against mutant zombies that know how to kill and pilot steam-powered spaceships. There is many scenario in this movie that makes little to no sense, especially a lot of the elements in this movie. The team members are pretty generic like some video game characters and even have dialogues that is similar to some video game characters. The plot is very simple when it gets down to it, but tries to be more complex than it really is. It still had my attention and didn't get really or anything like that, and kept my eyes on the screen all the way through it.6/10