The Land That Time Forgot (2009)

Too much of everything

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

Blistering performances.

THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT is another pathetic attempt by The Asylum to cash in on a then-popular Hollywood blockbuster, namely LAND OF THE LOST. This lacklustre cheapie is based on a novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs and has a washed-up Timothy Bottoms playing a character called Captain Burroughs, but otherwise it has nothing to do with the original book, which was filmed really well in Britain in 1974 and stars Doug McClure (one of my favourite childhood movies). This was directed by and stars C. Thomas Howell, who does a terrible job in both respects. Castaways end up on a desert island in the Bermuda Triangle, where they find themselves menaced by a badly-animated CGI T-Rex and some random Nazis. The acting is as poor as the effects work, and it's so interminable that it seems to go on and on and on.

A few castaways stumble through a supersaturated tropical landscape full of grotesque CGI-errors.From the beginning, the characters and their short and dumb dialogues are totally annoying.I caught myself wishing one or the other protagonists getting a final demise by digestion. But you even can't enjoy this without laughing heartily.No question, this Caprona-slating hardly has anything to do with the first movie, and even less with the novel.If you want to survive this film, I recommend not to take it seriously... right from the start. It has at least a few involuntary giggles, so it has something like entertainment value.Peace

Hey, it's Timothy Bottoms! And he's not playing George W. Bush! But if I were stuck on an island full of dinosaurs with George W. Bush, he would act exactly like this! Hey, it's C. Thomas Howell! A long damn way from "The Outsiders"! And he looks emaciated! Hey, C.! Have a sandwich! Hey, it's that gal from "One Tree Hill"! She can't act here, either! Hey, it's an Asylum movie! But this time, the story's not so bad! This time the effects are passable! This time the direction is competent! C. Thomas Howell was the director! He still needs a sandwich! Hey, it's better than Will Ferrell's "Land of the Lost"! Hey, slamming my fingers in a drawer is better than Will Ferrell's "Land of the Lost"! Five stars, because the Nazi U-Boat (don't ask) looks pretty cool!

I'm a fan of cheesy creature features and this ranks right up there, I mean, come on, it IS a cheesy creature feature! I don't expect to be riveted to my seat or witness award winning acting when I rent or buy something along the line of "The Land that Time Forgot". We aren't talking Gone with the Wind here. This is a mindless romp of fantasy, and adventure, something to watch on a rainy afternoon, or late at night when you can't sleep. I enjoyed C. Thomas Howell and the others just fine. I don't know if they were taking themselves too seriously or not, it was entertaining, that's all I care about. I was actually surprised after it was over, it was better than I thought it was going to be.If you are truly a die-hard fan of the "B" cheese, I think you'll enjoy C. Thomas Howell's version of The Land that Time Forgot. I did.