Love Bite (2012)

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

Other reviews seem to really hate this movie and I imagine this may be due to British reviewers, now you're probably thinking 'well yeah it's a British movie naturally the brits will know if it's good or not' but you would be wrong.The thing is aside from the British accents this is very much an American style teen movie, so tastes are rather different between the cultures and I can easily see those in the UK disliking the film but that shouldn't cause you to shy away from this. The socially awkward but good looking guy with loser friends are trying day and night to get laid but can't. In comes the gorgeous foreign tourist that takes a shine to the quirkyness of said awkward fellow and the entire movie is spent with the boy trying to lay the hot tourist. Classic teen movie that you see more of from American films circa the late 70s through 80s/90s and to a lesser extent today even. Add to this missing teens and suspected werewolves and a werewolf hunting hermit and you have a your American style teen comedy horror.The acting is unexpectedly superb (given the budget and age of the actors), the jokes are crude as expected but work well (american pie style), the film quality/cinematography/directing/make up/cgi/ are all above par for a low budget horror.If you're looking for a teen comedy/horror this should be on top of your list.rated as a teen comedy 9/10

Jessica Szohr is very beautiful. That is a fact. Since I haven't seen the TV show she is in yet, I can't say how she is as an actress or judge her in general based on this movie. It would be unfair, because the rating would not be a good one. But that is down to the character she has to portray, which is not much more than being there looking good and saying a few things.Where the movie really loses, is in its jokes department and character development. Even though they try to be as smart and funny as any other teen sex comedy (with added horror elements), it lacks in many departments. It does pull punches on the sexuality too, when it should at least go and try to walk a like here. It never does, but has all the usual clichés ...

I saw the trailer for this film, and it did look like it could be a funny film, and it was described as being something for The Inbetweeners audience, so I was kind of surprised to see the lowest of low ratings, from director Andy De Emmony (Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa!). Basically summer has begun just after school is over for the students in the town of Rainmouth, the dead-end seaside town; some of the students include a group of teenage friends, Jamie (Eragon's Ed Speleers), Kev (Luke Pasqualino), Bruno (Robin Morrissey) and Spike (Daniel Kendrick). Jamie is bored to hell and forced into working for his pothead mother Natalie (Kierston Wareing) at her B&B, while the other guys seem happy working in the pie factory, but they are concentrating more on trying to get sex. Desperate to get out there, and when he gets the chance to every so often, Jamie is out on their nights as well, and at a party he meets beautiful, smart and sexy Juliana (Piranha 3D's Jessica Szohr) from America, but soon after her arrival strange things are happening in the village. This includes many teenagers going missing, and there is rumour of a werewolf in the town, and it is revealed that those missing teens were virgins, and the beast is only hunting for virgin flesh, Sid (Timothy Spall) seems to be the one hunting it. The assumed werewolf hunter is staying at the B&B, and warns Jamie about the werewolf, that he should stay away from Juliana, who Jamie is smitten with, and that he should lose his virginity as soon as possible. For a while he ignores this advice and continues to try and get closer to his new love interest, she does like him very much, but at times seems to try and avoid him for some reason, and eventually he and his friends realise the werewolf threat is true, and that they should pop their cherry quickly to stay safe. Thinking that Juliana may not have any feelings for him, and then later believing Sid's theory that she is the beast, Jamie tries to have sex with the person who has been begging him to shag her, fat and unpleasant Alicia (Rosie Sansom), but he doesn't go ahead with this, and he fails other attempts with some other girls. It turns out the American love interest is not the werewolf, she is in fact a werewolf hunter who provides the service of taking the virginity from people so they will be safe from the danger, but knowing that she has to save lives she cannot give into any feelings she may or may not have for anyone. In the end the werewolf kills Sid who attempts to end the terror, it is cornered and killed by Jamie with a silver spiked arrow, and he finally embraces his feelings with Juliana who is also smitten with him, so he loses his virginity as well with the woman he loves. Also starring Robert Pugh as Sergent Rooney, Imogen Toner as Mandy and Paul Birchard as Reverend Lynch. I agree with the critics that the first half of the film is pretty dreadful with the immature and crude material, a few scenes in the second half has the more material that could have made the film worthwhile, the concept was good sounding, it's just the execution, there wasn't much that made me laugh, and it was not thrilling either, it is a disappointingly terrible British comedy horror. Pretty poor!

Rainborough-on-sea is a down-at-heel English seaside resort, home to Jamie (Ed Speleers) and his friends. Jamie is a likable, normal sort of lad, a good looking virgin who lives at home in his slutty mother's guest house. His friends are witless, charmless, graceless losers. Into Jamie's life comes the gorgeous Juliana (Jessica Szohr), an American roving reporter for a travel website (you can tell she's gorgeous because she frequently walks in slow motion). A mutual interest develops, but Juliana appears to be the target of suspicions from the strange new resident at the guest house, Sid (Timothy Spall). And locals start disappearing whenever the moon is full....This sounded promising and the trailer had a couple of good gags, so I was hopeful that we would end up with a British horror/comedy to rival An American Werewolf In London, particularly after the dud that was Lesbian Vampire Killers. Plus, after Eragon, Ed Speelers could do with something to establish a bit of credibility.Alas, both our hopes were dashed. Admittedly, they got some stuff right. The atmosphere of a British seaside resort well past its prime is conveyed effectively (I live in one such place and Clacton is another, doing a good job of looking fairly unattractive to holidaymakers - being filmed out of season also contributes here, too). Speleers is personable, Szohr is hot enough to sizzle, and there are one or two directorial flourishes which are pleasing. That's about it, though.Now let's look at what is wrong. One, the 3 lads are simply awful (and the film knows they are awful because it has Jamie remark on that fact more than once). Two, the film is inhabited by a deeply unpleasant female equivalent of the other 3 lads: equally crude and crass and, as written, devoid of any sense of reality. Three, there is a police sergeant who is completely unbelievable. Four, the usually reliable Timothy Spall plays his character broad instead of straight, which removes any possibility that he might come across as amusing. Five, all attempts at humour falls flat - this film is not even slightly funny. Six, the film is not only not funny, it is also not even slightly horrific. Seven, the werewolf reveal, when it comes (you know it's not going to be Juliana because she has been so obviously set up to be the werewolf from the start) is not shown clearly enough for you to be certain who it is. I think it was the police sergeant: if so, that doesn't make sense, because Juliana has been following him around Europe - how can he be a roving werewolf and a resident Plod in some seedy British seaside resort? And, eight, the ending is just horrible - Juliana is infected, so Jamie infects himself, there is a crap animation of two werewolves going at it doggy style, then they go off to America to hunt virgins to feed on. Awful.I do suggest avoiding this one.