Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft (2013)

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

This film is rubbish as a film and the stars are not for it in that respect but instead as a brilliant party game. Grab some friends, a few drinks and take a shot every time there is a mistake but drink responsibly people pick one type of mistake as in one of the characters same scene costumes changes or getting the name of the school wrong or the same people in the background etc you get the idea do not do it for all mistakes because you will be hammered ten mins in although that would maybe make the rest of the film better. It is comical for how bad it is and if you can watch it with a sense of humour you will be fine but if you are a serious movie watcher do not bother you will be seriously disappointed.

How this amateurish dribble got on to DVD that I paid £5 for thinking it was another version of the same name like a few others also here have been caught out.I was embarrassed just watching this and only saw it through because I couldn't believe how bad it is,hoping it would improve but alas no such luck.Please how in heaven did this ever get to be made in the first place.what were they thinking,acting, fight scenes & CGI abysmal and laughable. If it was a group of high school kids making this with a camcorder then yes OK good effort but needs more work! I really don't like to be negative but I was honestly shocked at the poor quality of this production.If it was done as some sort of joke then they pulled that off magnificently.

Twins Jonah and Ella go to an elite prep school (Lebkuchen Haus, which is German for gingerbread house; the only reference to the fairy tale) because Jonah is always getting into fights. This is ridiculous enough that it might be a good enough reason to stop watching the film.Jonah is assigned a room with Charles, who does not get along well with others. Nice. Charles warns Jonah that one either eats or gets eaten at the school. Charles is at the school through scholarship obtained by merit. Jonah is there through influence from his adoptive parents; he was born into a lower social setting. So, Charles has two reasons not to like him.Ella is assigned a room with Kristen, who works on the school paper. Kristen used Google to find out all sorts of information about Ella. Kristen thinks she has a kick-ass story that will blow the lid off the school.In Jonah's first class (held outside; sure), Ms Thomas goes on about Golding's hypothesis that humans naturally reject civilisation whenever possible and descend into savagery. Jonah appears not to be listening, but then again, he's a perfect example of the lesson. When asked about what had been said, though, Jonah summarised it in one sentence.Jonah finds that there are witches at the school, and they invite him to join. They know, somehow, that he has a circular birthmark at the back of his head, just as all of them do. They show him that he can do some unexpected things, and swear him to secrecy.Charles warned of students going missing; he decides to leave before it happens to him. Kristen goes missing; Ella tries to follow her research. She ends up following Jonah, and asks him what he has been up to; Jonah stays quiet about it. Some of Kristen's research involves the coming of European witches to America, and the attempt of the 'Great Witch of the Woods' to rule in the Americas. Despite the fact that many of the followers were put down in Salem, the GWW is still alive and about 400 years old, and has new followers in the Circle. The job of the Circle is to find young souls for the GWW to feast on. The counter current here is the presence of a few who have witch skills but are tasked with killing evil witches; these people would be 'witch slayers.'-----Scores-----Cinematography: 5/10 Amateurish. The re-use of some of the campus stock footage was beyond irritating. Some short clips were each repeated at least ten to twelve times.Sound: 0/10 Fracking hideous. The sound has multiple personalities: (a) pieces of the score sound as if they were made in the 1970s by an out of work composer with a lesser grade synthesizer (b) other pieces are florid, symphonic, and ridiculous for an action film (c) another set of background music is second rate industrial, say late 1990s. Some of the conversations were very badly miked, and sounded noticeably hollow.Acting: 0/10 The leads were dull non-actors who are a huge anchor around the neck of this drowning film. Booboo, in particular, is so poor that it is painful to watch any scene he is in. His attempts to read a sentence from a book were pathetic. Judy Norton and Eric Roberts were wasted. Roberts' slurred speech in the early scenes sounded as if he was recovering from something, and that hair cut was laughable. What was the director thinking? Screenplay: 0/10 Why would an ineffective ruffian (Jonah) be placed in an elite prep school? It's like asking a fish to walk 100 miles in a desert at the height of summer. What were the real reasons that he was admitted? Why would his sister go as well? The answers come late, and were not that interesting when they showed up. The dialog was between sub-standard and just plain bad. The great dramatic moment at the end was a complete dud.SFX: 0/10 Laughable: both uninteresting and not believable. Zero was too high a score.

Take a look at the DVD sleeve, then watch the film. Then wonder if there should be some sort punishment enforced on the writer, director, producer or distribution company. Actually I can't blame the writer. For all I know it was a great script that simply didn't survive the pre- production. But there you go on the sleeve with Fivel and Booboo (who names their kids that?) dressed in black leather, carrying swords, explosions, castles and flocks of bats behind them teasing you to something of a great action movie. Here's the spoiler alert..... none of that happens. Fivel discovers an enchanted letter opener about 3/4 of the way in and slays the head witch at the end in the shortest final battle sequence ever. "I'm the main witch! - And now you're dead!" cue the happy music. I won't spoil all of the story for you. I'll let the film do that if you find yourself actually watching this nonsense.Then I could go on about the continuity? OK I will. Opening scene is Booboo getting into what we later find out to be another fight. The scene is cut with exterior shots to basically establish where we are. So, the poor troubled lad with his twin sister are sent to an exclusive private school. But hang on......? Isn't that the same place in the exterior shots? Should this be in the goofs section? Essentially it looks like someone went out with a camera one afternoon, shot about 30 minutes of exterior views with which to loosely cut together the "main action". This film is dreadful. Please don't read this review and then go watch the film to see how dreadful it was. Please, I beg you, just.... don't. This isn't going to turn into a cult classic like "Attack of the killer tomatoes" one day that becomes famous because it is rubbish. "Attack" was put together purposely to be a bit naff and we loved it for that. Hansel & Gretel Witchhunters etc, seems to be taking itself seriously like it set out to be a serious film. You will get to the end and say "Seriously?"