Killer Workout (1987)

Simply Perfect

Memorable, crazy movie

Wow! What a bizarre film! Unfortunately the few funny moments there were were quite overshadowed by it's completely weird and random vibe throughout.

It is interesting even when nothing much happens, which is for most of its 3-hour running time. Read full review

Now this director knows how to sell sleaziness.Still a far cry from the Italian sleazy gialli but more than enough to give this bad movie the spice that it needs.Let there be no doubt about it.This movie is bad.Real bad.No,not the Michael Jackson kind.I mean it could be considered awful.But it is so bad and awful that it is good.I mean I laughed almost throughout.It went from one hilarious scene to another.Which was intensified by the fact that everything was taken seriously by director and the actors.Resulting in a parody of the slasher genre without intending it to be.Pay special attention to the detective who thinks of himself as a hard boiled and intelligent cop who is amazingly stupid.There is not one moment in the film where you can look at him in action and say now that is some fine acting.Not a hint of damn,"I got to pay the bills that is why I am in this rotten movie".On top of that the director tries to make a film that combines all the Eighties goodness or badness whatever you prefer resulting in something that I could describe as one huge mistake. Slasher,kungfu flick,crime film,flashdance type film,you name it is there.And of course enough crotch and boob shots to please the people who like that sort of thing.Who me?I can't deny giggling at some of the gratuitous shots made.It was like,"we are serious film makers trying to film scenes where serious actresses portray some difficult exercises and these are so difficult in fact that the camera has trouble recording them so we have to zoom in to spots we know very well to get back on the right track.Well,we got lost a lot of times."Or some other excuse like this.OK,I admit it I was expecting these shots and thank god they were there.Otherwise the film would not have been nearly as entertaining as it was.Do I really need to explain to you why Killer Workout is not a proper slasher or horror film? Even when there was enough present to come close.From start till the ending you will be entertained by the randomness of the events and more so when the killer and the motive is revealed.It is beyond ridiculous.But it won't matter much since you had fun for 90 minutes.

We may as well establish that the lesser-known category within Slasher flicks, the killer exercise variety, consists of two films: Killer Workout, aka Aerobicide, and seated at the right hand of it - Death Spa, released one year later. Why should anyone ask the redundant question of "why?" in regards to Slasher films veering off in this direction. It's all thanks to the workout craze of the 1980s. Get with the program!The film opens with a young woman that receives near-fatal burns as a tanning bed experience goes terribly awry. We're then treated to the likes of "Rhonda's Workout" – a gym, naturally run by a woman named Rhonda, that features a dance class that is infinitely in session, packed to the brim with facial close-ups, synthy hum drum, and anatomical regions of the feminine persuasion. This will be 1 of 5 (or roughly so, I actually lost count) dance sequences littered throughout. Amidst the slaughter of innocents with no relative modus operandi, the patrons of the workout facility barely bat an eyelash to acknowledge these gruesome affairs. Toss in your average "bad cop" authority figure who's willing to play hardball and a new muscle head employee who's actually a private investigator and you're ready to stir up the contents of a stereotypical 80s cheese-fest.Moments worth cherishing within Killer Workout mostly pertain to the excellently delivered dialog, such as this bread-winner of Shakespearean-level achievement:Typical Workout Jock: I just wanna know one thing. Workout Girl: What? Typical Workout Jock: (points to her zipped up spandex onesy) What's the zipper for, baby? Workout Girl: I'll leave it to your imagination….(storms off, rather annoyed)What's the zipper for baby? It's a complicated human invention crafted from a metal compound called a zipper; it's commonly sewn onto a garment for the purpose of concealing basic parts our anatomy, in particular, her breasts, you dim-witted Neanderthal. Of course it's really a wonder at all that you can hear this conversation over the whine of the electric guitar busting into a solo as it plays on throughout the opening segment. And furthermore, who hugs someone else after a rigorous dance routine anyway? It's like Killer Workout was written and directed in an alternate universe called Make-Pretend-Movie-Land where the players are tra-la-la'ing. Only a world such as this would feature musical cues at the start of scenes that don't require them…like a simple conversation. Why, oh why?If these elements don't spark your fancy, perhaps you're in the mood for a few hilariously bad fight scenes. David Prior, who wrote and directed this low-budget travesty, has been known to string together B-rated action flicks throughout the course of his career – the evidence of such a preference is on display as it rears its marred visage. At one point neighborhood hoodlums spray-paint the words "Death Spa" on the front window of Rhonda's Workout as a result of the murders receiving public attention. What's that you say…an omen? Is it a coincidence that a film entitled Death Spa would be released a year later? At least these thugs were dispatched off with ease, with crimped, Aquanet-sprayed locks a-flyin'. Indeed a punishment that befits the crime for suggesting that another Slasher fall under the confines of a training facility.The murder weapon of choice is a large safety pin that'd really only serve the purpose of holding up a cloth diaper, not ridding a hapless victim of his or her life. Killer Workout has a length of about 80 minutes or so and concludes rather absurdly with a half-hearted twist that, not surprisingly, is not much of one at all. By the way, if you missed the numerous dance numbers that could've easily been sold as a workout video, available via VHS 25 years ago, catch a glimpse of them on repeat as the end credits play to a finish. Killer Workout is a pathetic movie in literally every facet of film-making imaginable. Forget the likes of Sleepaway Camp if you and your friends are in for a laugh - "Aerobicide" has it all and more…fully equipped with brightly colored leotards and leg warmers.

Set in Rhonda's Work-out, an L.A. aerobics gym where the only the gorgeous are welcome (well, with the exception of a token fatty on an exercise bike, presumably there for the hard-bodies to make fun of), Aerobicide sees a killer hacking through the establishment's clientèle with a giant safety pin (!). Meanwhile, police detective Lt. Morgan (David James Campbell) and private investigator Chuck Dawson (Ted Prior) attempt to uncover the identity of the murderer, and gym owner Rhonda Johnson (Marcia Karr) tries to prevent her customers from cancelling their memberships.As a slasher film, Aerobicide is a complete failure, devoid of scares, tension, or decent kills (there's very little in the way of gore); however, as an opportunity to ogle hot 80s women flaunting their flawless, toned bodies in skimpy lycra outfits, it can't be beat.With the 'horror' regularly punctuated by cheesy 80s dance routines, fans of the female form are guaranteed plenty to enjoy: shapely butt's gyrate, groins thrust, and big breasts jiggle to a hi-energy disco soundtrack, and additional titillation comes in the form of a nekkid bird who gets grilled like a cheese toastie in a sun bed, tasty Teresa Van der Woude whipping her top off during a dream sequence, a victim being killed whilst taking a shower, and buxom Dianne Copeland flashing her ample charms in a bikini that is quite clearly struggling to contain such a well developed physique.Fans of trashy 80s nonsense should also get a kick out of an unbelievably hideous gold and black outfit worn by Rhonda, a couple of ridiculous punch-ups between the gym's beefcake male instructors, one of horror cinema's silliest jump scares in the shape of a spring-loaded rubber arm (which pops out a locker not once, but twice), and a seriously unconvincing wig (to explain more would be to spoil the film, but you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it).If you've watched and enjoyed similarly themed slashers Death Spa and Murderock, then this voyeuristic piece of low-brow entertainment from the days when big hair and leg-warmers ruled the world will no doubt also hit the spot.

"Killer Workout" is a rather decent with some nice cheese elements thrown in.**SPOILERS**Working at her aerobics studio, Rhonda Johnson, (Marcia Karr) becomes concerned with the growing number of fatalities of those who work out in the gym. When Det. Lt. Morgan, (David James Campbell) appears on the case, he thinks it's a little suspicious that newcomer Chuck Dawson, (Ted Prior) has showed up at the same time as the killings. While the other workers there, Jaimy, (Teresa Van der Woude) Diane Matthews, (Laurel Mock) and Cathy, (Lynn Meighan) are all a little worried that they're targeted by the killer and are even more at odds with each other. As he continues to crack the case and track down the killer, he comes across a rather unusual piece of information that allows him to crack the case wide open, and when he presents it, he finds that it's the wrong suspect and the real one is out continuing their rampage, forcing him to go against his instincts and trail the real killer.The Good News: There's some nice stuff to this one. The fact that there's a really decent slashing moments to this makes it the most worthwhile, since there's some really good ones on display. The one through the alley behind the gym is really great, as there's multiple targets to be attacked and killed off, which is really nice because of the way it plays out with the stalking, which is where the real fun comes from here. The ending confrontation in the car is just superb, thrilling and actually inventive, mainly because the killer actually goes for the side of the victim and stays in the area instead of just going all over the place, a nice touch and is finished with a great kill. There's a couple more in here which aren't all that bad, mainly towards the end which make it work out nicely, from the chase through the apartment to the one in the shower at the beginning which is quite nice. The fact that the kills are as bloody as they are with the murder weapon is nice enough as it is, since it's not exactly the most brutal one out there this is still pretty graphic. There's a stabbing in the neck, chest and top of the head with a gigantic safety pin, struck in the head with dumbbells, stabbed with a screwdriver, burned alive in a tanning bed and found hanging from a rope noose tied around the neck, which is a really great visual that really sets up the brutality factor along with the gore in here. The cheese in here is also really nice, as it's off-the-charts in this and really manages to stick out. From the cheesy 80s dance moves to the over-stylized manner it forces the clothing out to the physical appearance of everyone in here, this one just screams 80s cheese of the highest order and it's quite fun at times. The last thing is that there's a couple of really nice action scenes in here coming in the form of several really great brawls that have some really hard-hitting action in them to make up for the other stuff in here. These here are the film's best parts.The Bad News: There isn't a whole lot to this that doesn't work. The main thing with this one is the rather convoluted and hard-to-understand story to it. There's a decent mystery here that seems to go back and forth between three primary suspects, all three are given motive and opportunity to do so and it really goes back-and-forth as the main culprit responsible. Normally this results in some really good suspense and mystery, but here it just has the appearance of making the film seem longer and not knowing which one to end the film with and throwing them all in for the sake of giving it a red herring. This makes the ending come off a little disjointed and doesn't have a whole lot worthwhile. The only other part to this one is that there's a little too much cheese for some to get over. Seeing as much as this one has could be even for some to be through with before it ends, and it's one of the better examples of this out there. These here are the film's worst flaws..The Final Verdict: A really enjoyable cheesy 80s slasher that really only gets into trouble with it's story, but it's the only thing really wrong. This is easily essential viewing for those who enjoy the cheesier side of the genre, while slasher fans should take a look at it, while the ones who can't take the style should heed caution.Rated R: Graphic Violence, Nudity and Language