Hard to Die (1990)

Wonderful character development!

Save your money for something good and enjoyable

The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.

Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

"I just want to get my clothes on and get the hell outta here!" shouts Jackie hysterically. It may hide behind the alternate title "Hard to Die," and utilize the stage name "Arch Stanton" (the name on the grave in The Good, the Bad and the Ugly) for director Jim Wynorski, but with most of the same cast returning and with reused ideas and recycled flashbacks, Sorority House Massacre III is still very much the same cheesy movie. The character names have changed (except for Orville Ketchum, now the janitor, and through the majority of the film practically a zombie), the goofy synthesized piano music is back, and the cleavage is as prominent as ever. Since the film doesn't take place in a sorority house, the working titles "Hard to Die" or "Tower of Terror" are more appropriate, but the film is practically identical in story and tone to the series the director took over.Four department store employees (Dawn, played by Robyn Harris; Jackie, played by Deborah Dare; Tess, played by Melissa Moore; and Shayna, played by Bridget Carney) arrive for the yearly inventory at Acme Lingerie and meet up with the newly hired girl Diana Farrow (Lindsay Taylor). While working in the dusty basement, the sprinkler system is accidentally activated, getting the group of seductresses suitably wet (yes, that was a major plot point). After cleaning up in the manager's office, they discover a mis-delivered occult witchcraft soul box that unleashes an evil (and poorly animated) spirit. The mysterious package was intended for Dr. Newton (a man who casually reads from the book "Demonology and You") at the museum, who attempts to warn them of the dangers - until the phone goes dead. Meanwhile, the same two detectives from Sorority House Massacre II decide to investigate the lingerie store and their old pal Orville, who they both finger as a mass murderer. As the five isolated girls wait for a Chinese food delivery, they are quickly slaughtered by a hooded assailant, armed with a diabolically evil metal hook.It's especially funny to see the desirable vixens talk about the sorority house massacre that happened in the previous film, considering they played the victims, most of whom didn't make it out alive. And that film reused an introductory plot from the Slumber Party Massacre films. It's like a remake of the previous film, shot for shot, but with a new location; it's even more absurd if you've just seen the previous movie. Both of Wynorski's sequels are completely unrelated to the first Sorority House Massacre, rendering that film obsolete for either understanding the inconsequential plot or enjoying the scatterbrained characters and their extremely toned bodies. Even the first fight scene with Orville is choreographed in an identical fashion (the knife to the guts is in the same place, as is the strangulation by handy extension cord). The repetition is just plain obnoxious (except for the copious nudity, which somehow never gets tiresome).The same girl manages to take a shower first again (Melissa Moore), her spontaneous undressing moderated by remarkably silly saxophone riffs. And the others aimlessly slip into sexy lingerie in short order. Even the creepy janitor eyes the girls in the same way, and once the bloodletting starts, the splattering of blood and gore is all too familiar. The only major difference is the immoderate amount of machinegun fire. Some people consider this to be a softcore parody of Die Hard, but it couldn't be further from it – if anything, it was simply a gimmicky title choice. Ultimately, who cares? There's plenty of flesh on display, and none of it is unappealing (except maybe for the odd food delivery girl dressed like a clown). It's all in the interest of conceding to the target audience's poor tastes.Mike Massie

This mountain of melted cheddar is dumb, dumb fun. Director/producer Wynorski (who also helmed the raucously cheesy Chopping Mall) proves himself to be the unsung B-movie hero. Wynorski's films win because he creates schlock that believes in itself. This production doesn't have an air of superiority. It carries its ludicrous premise with a conspicuous joie de vivre and at a boisterous pace, all while avoiding the doldrums of self-parody. Wynorski also succeeds in that his intentionally funny and over-the-top ending is actually funny. He thus accomplishes the rather difficult task of creating a film that people will laugh at AND laugh with.This film is actually the third entry in the Sorority House Massacre series, but stands just fine on its own (I've never seen the two preceding SHMs). It may be the best of the trilogy, downplaying the derivative slasher element that defined the first two films and instead taking an exuberant action-horror-comedy slant (the title, in case it wasn't obvious, is an obvious spoof of Die Hard). Just the image of our trashy-lingerie-wearing, bloody-breasted heroines brandishing automatic firearms is enough to alight the predilections of any cult film fan.

"Hard to Die" is an entertaining action film without a whole lot of slasher elements.**SPOILERS**Arriving at a high rise, Dawn Grant, (Gail Harris) Tess Cochran, (Melissa Moore) Jackie Webster, (Deborah Dutch) Shayna Harby, (Bridget Carney) and Diana, (Karen Mayo-Chandler) are sent off to do inventory for a lingerie company in the building. While sorting through the boxes, they mistakenly receive a package and open it, which causes a malicious spirit to be unleashed. Thinking nothing of it, they get back to work when a thunderstorm traps them inside. When they start to get worried when the others go off on their own, they realize that a serial killer is loose inside with them. Realizing that the killer is the spirit of an executed serial killer from years ago seeking revenge on a building employee, they try to fight off the madman.The Good News: This one is a rather entertaining action film. This one has plenty of big action scenes, mostly revolved around gunfights and at the end. In fact, the final half-hour is for the most part one extended gunfight with the participants changing for each one. This one goes all over the building, through several different floors and manages to get a lot of property destroyed and shot-up, which is fun to see. When the supernatural elements come into play and they become nearly impossible to gun down, the sight of seeing all the bodies being torn up with the bullet-fire is a thing of beauty in a horror film, and with the constantly changing locations where it takes place, and it adds to the cheesy fun. Of course, the sight of seeing incredibly gorgeous women in lingerie shooting off machine guns doesn't do much to hurt them, either. The fact that this leads into the film's other big plus, it's fun and cheese together make it a really fun experience. Beyond the film's big action scenes and it's individual moments, there's plenty of these elements to make it all-around fun and exciting. That also extends over into the film's high amount of nudity, which are featured throughout the film. From the nearly unnecessary shower scenes for all of them to the trying on the lingerie within the film, there's a pretty healthy amount featured in the film and it makes the film feel a little more cheesy. When it moves away from the cheese, this one does have a few good suspense moments. The time when the lights go out due to the thunderstorm is great, since it happens during the time when the realization first occurs. It makes the walk-through of the building to safety all the creepier since there's the fact that it doesn't know whether or not the killer will come out. The play with the shadows is used nicely here, and it makes the building take on a whole new light, even when there's familiarity. The later stalking scenes with the machine guns work out just as well, and are just as good. These here are the film's best points.The Bad News: There isn't a whole lot wrong with the film. The fact that, watching this as a slasher, there's a few flaws that sprout up. The body count is ridiculously low, with only a few deaths actually transpiring throughout. Never mind that they're really bland kills, being done in the shadows, but the fact that there's only a couple of them makes the film feel really dry. The lack of blood, except for the gunshot wounds, is also something most slashers wouldn't do. The fact that they don't even begin until the film's halfway over is something else to take up, since by then there's a few spread throughout to keep the entertainment, but this one only offers up a few kills towards the end that are quite lackluster. The really flimsy excuse for getting them together really could've been worked out more, and there could've been an excuse for getting more there to stalk-and-slash. The film's other big flaw is that there's really no explanation for why the gunfights at the end to be as they are. It's established that they're supernatural, but there's nothing done about why they can withstand the punishment against them. That would've made it even more thrilling than just seeing them get up time-and-time again after being torn up with bullets. Otherwise, these here are all that harm the film.The Final Verdict: Without too much slasher elements, it's hard to really classify it as such, though this is still an incredibly fun adventure. This is really recommended to those who enjoy the cheesy kind of films or in the mood for an action-packed extravaganza, though those who don't appreciate these kinds might not enjoy it as much.Rated R: Violence, Full Nudity and Language

In the 80's and early 90's, one couldn't do any better for entertaining movie mega-cheese than Jim Wynorski or Fred Olen Ray. Ironically enough after the two collabreated on "Hollywood Scream Queen Hot Tub Party", neither's subsquesent movies were as entertaining. But I Digress, anyway this Wynorski film is about 5 girls doing inventory and stumbling on a puzzle box that contains the spirit of the guy from "Sorority House Massacre 2", but featuring clips from "Slumber Party Massacre" So of course they take turns showering, making insipid comments, running around in lingerie, and getting killed by a maniac. In short, great cheesy goodness.My Mega-Cheese Grade: BDVD Extras: Theatrical Trailer; Trailers for "Don't Sleep Alone", "Concealed Weapons", and 1997's "Expose"Eye Candy: nearly all of the actresses get nude, take showers, or both