The Island (1980)

People are voting emotionally.

A Masterpiece!

Pretty good movie overall. First half was nothing special but it got better as it went along.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

I watched this back when it was new, and recalled it being reasonably adventurous trash, but workable. Just watched it again and... OMG. So bad. Not just in the details, but so badly paced it is boring, so badly written it is too improbable to be scary adventure. And weird, weird choices. There's happy adventure music when the pirates attack shipping and as they murder innocent people, for example. Oh and minus another point for everyone but the pirates being totally incompetent. No one can shoot, and the USCG guys are buffoons for no clear reason. None of the fights have any tension because the bad guys are so destined to win every time.

One thought kept occurring in my mind frequently while watching this movie. What the f****k was Michael Caine thinking? I've read this has developed a cult following over the years, and I have one thing to say to you. Stay away from me! I cannot fathom as to why anyone could garner enjoyment from this movie. As soon as David Warner appears in the Pirate get-up, I knew it was all downhill from there. There are so many questions I have. How could a kid get so easily brainwashed by these blithering idiots? It happened way too fast for my liking; not to mention that the kid is incredibly irritating. I also have a problem with the direction of Michael Caine's character itself. He is supposed to be the hero in this movie, but he is perhaps the most unlikable of all. Caine looks thoroughly ashamed to be in this movie, and gives a rare, one-note performance. I don't blame him a bit for phoning it in here, the man has bills to pay like all of us, but he was absolutely awful. The pained expressions on his face told the whole story. David Warner is good at playing eccentric roles, but he is laughably bad here. I think he knew what a piece of crap he was starring in, and decides to ham it up like no tomorrow. Are you convinced yet? Wait until you see the chaotic finale that involves a Machine Gun! Final Thoughts: I have one suggestion for all of the people involved in this atrocity. "Walk the plank matey and never return" OK. That's a bit harsh, but I couldn't resist throwing in a lame pirate reference. David Warner is a good character actor, and Michael Caine is a legend, but this movie is legendarily awful. Michael Caine regrets it, and so will you. 2.5/10

Island, The (1980) ** (out of 4) Peter Benchley (JAWS) adapted his own novel for this notorious dud that thirty-years after its release still doesn't make any sense. Michael Caine plays a big-shot NYC writer who grows curious as to why over three-hundred ships a year go missing in the Caribbean each year. He takes his young son down there and soon learns that an evil group of Spanish pirates are behind all the missing ships and soon the writers finds himself held hostage by the leader (David Warner) who wants him to impregnate one of the female pirates. The leader also plans to turn the writer's own son against him so that he can lead future clans. The poster for this adventure/horror flick is without question the best thing about the movie. This film is considered one of the worst ever made but I certainly wouldn't go that far. It's certainly a very bad movie but at the same time it features some stuff that is just so campy that you can't help but be somewhat entertained. As bad as the reputation is I think the worst thing about the film is that there's clearly a good movie somewhere here but sadly the screenplay by Benchley just comes off extremely bland and lifeless. For the life of me I can't figure out exactly what the writer was wanting to do because he gives us an interesting idea of pirates in today's culture but he does nothing with it. Caine and his son are kidnapped around the twenty-five minute mark and for the next hour Caine pretty much stays tied up with the exception of every once in a while he tries to escape. Just having him sit around for an hour just brings the film to a crashing halt and you can't help but wish that the writer had came up with something else. There are a few good moments here including the scene where Caine and his son are taken hostage. The opening attack scenes are extremely graphic and bloody but they're effective. There's even an attack in the middle of the film, which contains some campy moments but it too at least gives us something to look at. Even the subplot involving the son turning into a pirate is just downright silly and it's a shame so much time is wasted with this. Caine doesn't give much of a performance as he's clearly just picking up a paycheck. Warner isn't too bad but I thought the character was way too laid back for his own good. The rest of the cast members fit their roles nicely but none of them really jump off the screen. THE ISLAND will always be considered a notorious flop and it's a real shame because something much better could have been done with the setting and original idea. I'm not exactly sure what the writer was trying to do but he has pretty much delivered a rather bland movie but also a very frustrating one because you can see that there's something here but whatever greatness was possible is certainly never reached.

I watched this movie many, many years ago, and like all good movies it left an impression on me. I think about this movie from time to time and remember it bringing out many emotions in me, mostly fear. I would love to watch it again if I can ever find it available. I don't remember to much about it, but loved Michael Caine and felt he did an excellent job in his role. This is a modern day pirate story, that seems to be probably fairly close to reality. I did not read the book so I can't compare the two. I figure that the fact that the movie has left such an impact on me all these years later, gives the movie a positive rating. I wonder if I watched it now if I would still enjoy it?