Valentino: The Last Emperor (2008)

i must have seen a different film!!

Did you people see the same film I saw?

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

Part of the job of a documentary filmmaker is to draw in an audience that might not come pre-programmed with knowledge about the subject, and then educate them about that subject. This documentary fails completely at that. I learned a lot more from the Wikipedia page about Valentino.This purports to tell the life of Valentino Garavani, a man frankly I had never heard of in my life. The silent film actor Rudolph Valentino is more famous. So, do we really learn about his childhood, his education, his influences? Except for a small statement about seeing women on the silver screen when he was 13, not really.Do we learn much of anything about the man, the business, the world it all happens in? No. You would think that if fashion is important in some way, that might be explained. You would think that if he is "the last emperor" that you might explain who the other emperors were and why nobody else is an emperor now.For crying out loud, we hardly even got a good look at any of his history of work.I couldn't tell if I was watching some sort of anaesthetized special of Absolutely Fabulous, or Zoolander, or The Osbournes with all the fun sucked out.The main things I learned: (1) it's apparently possible to become an emperor of fashion (even a gay emperor) without designing anything of any note for men, despite the desperate need for ANYTHING new in men's clothing (2) female fashion models have nice breasts, but are otherwise the most hideous examples of the human form, especially when they start "walking". It's no wonder these clothes won't fit anyone else; they're designed for limping space aliens.(3) apparently the fashion world is entirely ignorant that "triumph of the will" is a Nazi reference.So maybe you already know this Valentino, and maybe you enjoy a peek at the rather dull and arrogant life he leads. Then this is for you. But not for me.

A fascinating look behind the scenes at the man who always dreamed of beautiful things.The peek into the emotions and thoughts of Valentino was a rare treasure. Usually we just see the finished product, not the process.One thing that is clear in the process is the driven nature of Valentino. He is always dressed and acts as if he is on display. He cannot relax for a moment. He once comments he worked 40 hours straight. As someone who worked 23 hours straight once, I applaud that. But one has to think that a multimillionaire can relax sometime. Not Valentino.He may not have been happy giving permission to enter his world, but we are richer for it.You certainly don't have to be gay to work in this industry, but it sure helps as you stare at breasts all day.

The priceless opportunity to crash an artist's inner sanctum and watch him at work is the considerable appeal of this documentary, whose name it appropriates, of course, from the Bernardo Bertolucci-directed Academy Award-winning film about the end of the Qing Empire in feudal China. "Valentino: The Last Emperor" allows the viewer a peak into the rarefied world of "haute coutre", where the fashion designer's latest crisis, sequins or no sequins for his latest creation, is in the process of being resolved. In a crowded room, surrounded by his minions, a typically angular model is reduced to a mannequin; her casual nudity no more titillating than a venerable nun's state of undress. The subject of the scene is that white gown, not the woman who occupies it. As she's being fitted, the model's downturned countenance of ennui de-eroticizes her nakedness. The room full of people, all tending to their appointed tasks, pay no mind to this woman in the buff, which orientates the viewer to see the model through Valentino's eyes. Perhaps a nipple ring would have destroyed the functional aspect of the model's bared breasts, but the prevailing context of her nudity blurs the male gaze, since the viewer has no corresponding stand-in within the diegesis to enjoy the female form in all its purity. The opportunities to see a naked woman of film are endless. The quotidian visage of the model deflects attention away from her; she's not in the seducing mood; she's working, and onto her clothes. To Valentino's credit, the white gown that forms around the model's diaphanous body makes her look even more desirable than the pure state she achieves through the rigorous denial of normal caloric sustenance. The nude dress upstages the nude woman. The dress does the seducing. The viewer wants that dress; the dress is the eye candy, in this instance. Finally, the emperor decrees: Let there be sequins. And we were there to see an icon put the finishing touches on his latest masterpiece. Alas, "Valentino: The Last Emperor" will irk those who can't relate, or pretend to sympathize with the problems of the rich. But wealth is beside the point in Valentino's case. Stripped of its luxurious trappings, the fashion designer's trials and tribulations should be remarkably relatable to anybody who ever created a work of art, and saw their creative control suddenly taken away from them.

A wonderful portrait, displays several sides of Valentino from Emperor to flawed human like the rest of us. The artist, the opulent lifestyle, the dedicated partnership with his lover, the changing of the fashion business and its ramifications on this aging lion and the reality he created.Music for the movie was perfectly selected, very well executed, edited and beautiful cinematography. This film was inspiring, funny, and touching. If your lucky enough to have Valentino in your city, hurry to the theater as it is a must see. What comes after Valentino? As he says, "The flood".