The Wash (2001)

Dreadfully Boring

Am I Missing Something?

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

Your blood may run cold, but you now find yourself pinioned to the story.

Of course this movie was dumb! What did you expect? I was just in the mood to rent a stupid comedy that you don't need to think much about, and that's just what I got! Yeah, there were a few laughs here and there, nothing special. At least it was entertaining!

I rented the movie only for one thing: Eminem. I wasn't expecting anything good, just a couple of minutes of Eminem. I was surprise that it was pretty funny. Not amazing, but surpassed my low expectations. There is a lot of drugs and profanity but all in all I liked it. Plus look for all the cool cameos. By the way Eminem was fine and hilarious as Chris.

CONTAINS SPOILERS!! I must admit, I laughed twice in the 90 minutes I was in the theater. That breaks down to one laugh every 45 minutes. At $8.25 a ticket each laugh had a cost of about $4. Factor in that when I wasn't laughing I was insulted by the ridiculous storyline and I think you will agree that I paid too much for those two laughs.The plot, (which I believe they wrote as they went along) was missing one very key element: LOGIC. It made absolutely no sense!! There were too many characters, the majority of whom contributed nothing to the story. There seemed to be no discrimination by the casting department as to who would make a cameo appearance in this film. Apparently, they didn't have to be funny, just willing. (C'mon Shaq, you had nothing better to do?)Sean (Dr. Dre) was an unemployed loser who obtained an Assistant Manager position at Mr. Washington's (George Wallace) car wash where anarchy reigned. His least favorite employee, Dee Loc (Snoop Doggy Dogg) kept his own liberal work schedule, had sex on the job, sold drugs on the job, and stole from his employer. In addition to Dee Loc there was C-Money and L'il Dee who stole money out of cars, and of course we can't forget the token Hispanic and ex-con. At the beginning of the film, Snoop made the comment that the white man didn't care about the black man. As if the white man was the reason this group of losers existed.So what's this movie about? That's what I asked myself up until the last 20 minutes of the movie. The owner of the carwash, (Wallace) is kidnapped by two bumbling criminals, one of whom Slim, (DJ Pooh) provided my second laugh. The kidnappers ask Sean to get the ransom money. That's when Dee Loc saves the day with a scheme worthy of Goldie the Mack himself.Let's talk about the acting. In Snoop's case I'll call it reenacting, because he seems to play the same guy in every film. Ironically the same guy he plays in all of his interviews as well. I hate to quote Ice Cube but, `Yo Dre stick to producing.' An actor, you ain't. I think it is sad when the St. Ides spokesman (DJ Pooh) is the best character actor in a film.I can't even recommend this as Blockbuster pick because $2.00 a laugh is still too much in my opinion.Dre, the next time you want to make a film….don't.

I watched "The Wash" not expecting a good movie, but i did get a pretty good funny movie with many special appereances and cameos for example Xzibit, Eminem, Pauly Shore,& Ludacris. The movie is about Dr.Dre and Snoop working in a car wash place, the funniest scenes in the movie were the ones with Eminem calling Mr.Washington and swearing at him, lol the ending with Eminem shooting the ak 47 is funny too, i suggest this movie if your a rap fan and you like movies like Next Friday, All About The Benjamins, etc. If your looking for a sophistacated plot or some s***, dont rent this.