13/13/13 (2013)

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

That was an excellent one.

Memorable, crazy movie

It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

This movie probably has the worst actors I have ever seen!

13/13/13 is a typical indie horror film with a story supposedly based on Mayan prophecy and the like, although in fact it feels more like your bog-standard zombie flick. It's one of the very cheapest films that The Asylum have ever put their brand to, and that's saying something. There's little menace here, and some cheap gore, amid plenty of bad language and worse performances. The whole thing is infused with predictability and stupidity in equal measure. The worst thing about it? The cheap digital look which saps it of life and vitality, rendering it blue, grim, and depressing.

Even the most dimwitted reviewer should know by now that we can't hold the no-budget stuff of the Asylums mock-busters up to the same standard as we do Hollywood productions.We must judge this film in relation to that, not some lofty blah blah goal.As a mockbuster then, this film does pretty well. The acting is pretty decent, and more importantly, the script is (while lacking in sophistication) also free from gross error: - they don't say horrible illogical things - they aren't any holes in the script - there are only a few suspend your belief moments So, given the premisse the script sets, all things follow pretty logically. The movie is about a recently divorced father and cop, Jack, (Trae Ireland), who is on a camping trip with 3 friends. While there, he notices the number 13 popping up everywhere. When he picks up his daughter from his estranged wife, he sees that she's gone insane. While he brings her to the hospital, we see that his friends, babysitting his daughter are also all slowly going crazy.Highpoint is the scene between his 11 year old daughter (played by 12 year old Tiffany Martinez) and Trevor, one of his buddies. She's impeccable as a faul mouthed mocker of Trevors attempt to fondle her... or do worse. In revenge-porn fashion, she satisfyingly bashes his head in, even though we don't really know that he IS a (potential) childrapist. Miss Martinez outshines Chloe Moretz (who too F---ed this and that a lot) because Martinez uses the F-word in it's original use, which is: to have sex, or rather, fornicate.Of course the movie has some minor flaws: - A suspend belief moment on how Jack and Candice can escape the house, while surrounded by crazies. - A flimsy and late explanation of the craziness: anyone NOT born in a leap year is exempt from craziness.But the acting is good, special mention: Jacks buddies and the parking garage crazies.Also, the woman and the child actor could have a tat more attractive, but I guess it's hard to find decent 12 year old actresses willing to say lines like "Do you wanna f---- me, Trevor?".And to all other negative reviewers: Dude!!! We're not talking Shakespeare or the Mona Lisa here! Get a grip!The Melancholic Alcoholic.

Ever since I saw this movie I can't fight the headaches anymore. For days I've been suffering nausea and irritable bowel syndrome. I can't sleep because every time I think of this movie I vomit all over myself.Bad actors, stupid plot, The editing is awful and unnecessary scenes drag on forever for no particular reason while other scenes are so short they make no sense at all. On multiple occasions you can see the film crew, actors switch places between cuts, wounds appear from out of nowhere. Although... I almost feel like I could forgive all of the above if it were not for the simple fact that most of the blood that's in the movie looks like either diarrhea or strawberry jam. All I could see were walls painted with poop. I rate this movie 0/10.