Universal Soldiers (2007)

Brilliant and touching

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

the whole movie is a complete rip off of universal soldier/predator/terminator. its so bad its like watching a home video of a couple 10 year old playing soldier after watching those good movies. the budget even if it would be 10 dollars would be to much for this film i could have done better with a camcorder a toy gun with the orange tip painted black and a windows 1995 video editor. this is just terrible i don't understand why anyone would watch this or rent it why name a rip off of a old movie that i don't think many would rent let alone the rip off of that B film. to all of those mad that asylum tricked you i just have one thing to say to you. shame on you for being tricked into a rip off of a B 90's film staring jean Claude van-dam like i mean wow you got tricked into watching a rip off of a b movie i have to give asylum credit for pulling a fast one. bravo asylum bravo

For those that think that the Asylum only puts out crappy Z-rated excruciatingly bad horror films, like such stinkers as "Halloween Night", "Massacre at Cutter's Cove", and "Snakes on a Train", you'd be dead wrong as they also put out crappy Z-rated excruciatingly bad sci-fi films like this one. Despite the title, this has absolutely NO relation to the Universal Soldier films, and owes much much to Predator and terminator (not to tarnish either of those two classics by comparison trust me). Anyways in this putrid little number, a group of the most highly ineffectual members of the military since "Hills have Eyes 2" are stalked by the lamest looking Borg-wanna be cyborgs that I've ever seen. Most of the film the enemy is off-screen, substituted by lame-ass predator-vision so it relies on the characters whom are all cliché boring cardboard cutouts that you truly don't care if they live or die. The ending in particular is so laughably atrocious that one can't help but feel their brain liquefying just by viewing it.My Grade: F

I am glad it was a free rental. I was half tempted to scratch the disc to spare the next poor sap 86 mins of his life. I mean seriously, this was crap. I have seen better film student films and much better (ok not MUCH better) films from indie filmmakers in Florida.So I guess this film is Universal in one thing...it sucks!I could just repeat most of what Alkaly from the UK said, but it was all so true. To rehash, the fairly average chicks in the movie didn't even get naked. Oh and the second (the first would be the movie was filmed) most annoying thing was the soundtrack. It sounded like they used a digital answering machine to record the voices.I shouldn't even waste more time writing a review of this movie, but it was that bad I had to clear my conscience and let people know.

... 1 out of 10 is way to much for this film.Where to begin, of where to begin! The acting is the worst I've ever seen, I remember my friends and myself acting better when we played "war" when we were like 5 years old. The image is really really bad. Special effects can hardly be called effects at all. But the most horrifying must be the sound. When the actors are outdoors, every 16 seconds you hear the same bird - ALL throughout the film! If they are inside, it's the same "mainframe" sound over and over again.Seriously, if you ever get the chance to watch this movie, you should. This is by far the worst movie I ever saw, and that is an experience like no other.ps: maybe I missed some, but I think the F*** word is said about a gazillion times in this film!