Survival Island (2002)

Let's be realistic.

Just perfect...

This is a gorgeous movie made by a gorgeous spirit.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

An earlier reviewer recommended this "only if you're high." Nope, didn't help. I love bad movies but this has NOTHING to recommend it other than Jaime Pressley in a bikini (And not long enough). And even this Jaime Pressley junkie had to hold his nose for most of this. Garrett Wang ever work again? (Or want to after this?) Actually, I checked. This was his first work after Star Trek Voyager & looks like his career has gone downhill sinceThe title gives away the monster & I don't think I could give up any other spoilers BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING YOU WON'T SEE COMING!IMDb Trivia: Jaime Pressly hated the movie. 'Nuff Said.....

I found this movie by mistake, while browsing at a used DVD store. I was looking for the movie, 'Survival Island' with Billy Zane and Kelly Brook. When I noticed that this film had Jaime Pressly in it (one of my faves), I bought it. I sure would like my $5 back. I cannot even BELIEVE that they allowed this garbage to be produced. The "monster" goes in between a man in a plastic suit, and a video-game "flash". Yes, you heard that right. It "flashes" to a screenshot of a video game monster, chasing them...I could make a murder look more realistic. The "blood" is so orange/red/fake-looking.....DO NOT EVER, under any circumstances, buy or rent this film. You will regret it, and you will be back here where I am, writing about how horrid it is. And this is coming from a die-hard "B" movie fan! I usually dig the "B", "campy" films...but this isn't even in that category. It's not "so-bad-it's-good"...it's just SO BAD.I am still confused as to why Ms. Pressly would agree to such a low-budget mess.

This film is one of the last I was able to get a hold of in order to see as many of IMDb's Bottom 100 films--the 100 movies with at least 1500 reviews that are the lowest rated. Most of the films on the list truly are horrible, but a few seem to have been unjustly rated. Is this film truly horrible enough to be on this infamous list? -- The movie starts with a prologue about some pre-Columbian natives creating a clay statue and magically transforming all the evil into it and sending it away to stop the plague. The scene switches to the present and you see a group of really, really worthless fraternity and sorority member heading to a hedonistic time on an island--which, surprise, surprise, is where the statue currently resides. Considering that these spoiled brats seem to spend all their time drinking, screaming, showing off their butts and acting boorish, I must assume the film is going to be a comedy. It certainly would not be a horror film to see these jerks die!Later, when some of the idiots discover the statue, they do what you'd expect anyone to do when they discover an ancient artifact--they smash it to see what's inside!! As I said, these idiots really, really needed to die! What follows, however, does look much more like a comedy, as the statue comes to life and a clay guy starts running amok!! It smashes people to death and blood goes a flyin'--making it a slasher movie but without the knives. In every possible way, it's exactly what you'd expect.So is it bad enough to make the list? Well, yes...but MOST slasher films should make the list, if you ask me! This one does manage to be even dumber, however, given the whole piñata angle. Plus, explosions when there really shouldn't be any as well as a dumb CGI villain make this a really bad example of a really dumb genre. Still, dumb young adults being slaughtered--this isn't exactly an idea that we haven't seen before or will probably see much more of in the future--as there are LOTS of fools who flock to theaters to see this mindless crap. This doesn't say much about the human race, does it?!By the way, why is Garrett Wang in this film? He's 34 years-old and way too young to be hanging with these morons. I guess life after "Star Trek: Voyager" isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Because it's listed as a horror/thriller, I have to give it a 1 out of 10 (also because a 0 out of 10 is not possible).I agree with everything "cottagecheesejethro" said about the movie in his comment.... from a horror aspect (make sure to read his comment).However, this is one of my FAVORITE movies of all times as a COMEDY. It's a great "scary" movie to watch at Halloween with your friends who don't like actually scary movies, and it's good year round for a nice laugh. You will (like CCJ said in his comment) almost find yourself rooting for the deaths, ha ha ha.A MUST WATCH.