Coronado (2003)

Purely Joyful Movie!

hyped garbage

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

The bipolarity of this movie is maddening. One moment it's making fun of Latin Americans, American tourists and banana republics in general, the other it wants to be touching, with burned villages and orphans. Even the serious revolutionary hero, becomes a parody of a revolutionary at one point. But the comedy parts aren't even funny, because it's so obviously stolen from Star Wars. Yes, Star Wars, the "hero" is basically a rogue with a heart of gold. Add to this stereotypical sounds effects, Latin Americans who speak English with one another, and a villain that just disappears from the story. And whats the point? It's basically revolution propaganda with no resolution, and no planning (because, there is just no way these people can lead a country). The US government are bad guys, but who'll make money producing this? Not some poor farmer, that's for sure.

There's absolutely nothing original in Coronado, the acting is average at best the script could use a serious polish but somehow it remains fun. The obvious comparisons to this film are the likes of Romancing the Stone and Sahara. But comparisons fail to take into account that Coronado was made on a 10th of the budget of Sahara which itself was no great film.They've managed to squeeze quite a lot into the film for $4.7million and there is a bridge sequence which works really well. It's just a shame they didn't have more money to get some beter quality actors add a bit more to the script. The story is very predictable with a few twists and turns added it would have been far superior.Fun on a budget, nothing original but if you loved Romancing the Stone you'll get some enjoyment out of this. 6/10

Coronado was nothing all that great. But I could not walk away from it. the acting is a little second string, and the two-bit special effects should put the independence day special effects guys (who worked on this movie) to shame. This is a comedy war movie with a nothing new plot. Just another rebel movie. now i know that this was an independent film, but they could have done better. Some of the acting was good but they did not seem to me like they were into their roles.6/10

So we're supposed to find it funny that this woman travels all the way to the jungle - to the warzone - just to find out why her fiancée didn't travel to Switzerland? Or are we supposed to take it seriously? It's not even remotely funny, clever or entertaining - it's stupid - and so is the movie. The lead actress is one of the most annoying characters I have ever seen in a movie - even worse than Jar-Jar Binks. Dialog tries very hard to be funny (almost all the time) but it never is. The number of funny jokes is somewhere between zero and nothing. And as for the plot - did they even once bothered to explain to us what are the rebels fighting for (other than being anti-government)? I guess that didn't matter to anyone - neither to the rebels nor to the characters who just blindly flew to the battlefield. Don't waste your time. "Coronado" is neither funny nor entertaining.