Battle of the Stars (1978)

I wanted to but couldn't!

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

My summary line above is an actual quote from the movie. The surprise of course is whether you ever make it through the entire flick. Let's see - 1977, "Star Wars", and 1977, "Cosmos:War of the Planets". One is a landmark movie that took sci-fi film making into the twenty first century, the other set back the progress of civilization for time immemorial.My question is - Is this movie about anything at all? It's virtually an endless stream of darkened scenes where crew members of a space ship called 'MK 31' attempt to defeat an alien intelligence that threatens Earth. The alien intelligence actually states to Captain Hamilton (John Richardson) that it will conquer the galaxy when he repairs a bad circuit board. So what does he do - he repairs the bad circuit board!!!! The only redeeming factor for this mess is the go-go style space suits, all white with a red skull cap and trim that look particularly fine on the good looking female crew members. Other than that, this film goes where no film has gone before, and will stay there by the look of the comments already posted. Fortunately or not as the case may be, this was the last movie left to view of my fifty DVD sci-fi collection from Mill Creek/Tree Line Films. A bargain at about twenty five bucks, this is the kind of movie that demands a refund, even if it's only fifty cents.

There are Bad sci-fi films, there are Rotten sci-fi films, there are even the Worse sci-fi films. However, this film is in the rock-bottom Bad, Rotten and Worst category. The music and the special effects (nothing more than weird, spiraling colors) give you a headache, and the costume designer committed suicide after completing the crew's uniforms. Humans haven't worn hats like that since the 11th century. But the film has one saving grace. This takes place in two ridiculous scenes where the commanders back on Earth try to brief the press, all of whom act like they are suppose to portray air-headed journalists. With reporters like these assigned to a BIG STORY, only God knows who is handling national local news. I shudder to think, but then we see their like on TV every night. The absolute best lines in the movie go to the two commanders who, after trying to convince the reporters that Earth is not in trouble but seeing the reporters rush to their communications devices to tell their editors that the end is near, say to each other:First commander: "They didn't buy it." Second commander: "No way." This film is so bad it makes David Bowie's The Man Who Fell To Earth look like a science fiction classic.a

I laughed. I cried. Then I watched Battle of the Planets or whatever it was called. Seriously. Hilariously bad. This is sort of a spaghetti space western I guess. Extremely low production values -even for a 70s sci-fi flick. Really strange and bad acting complements the nonsensical story. I'm pretty sure that the stars were just white paint splattered on black boards or occasionally white Christmas tree lights. For the space walk scenes it appears that they just turned the camera on its side while people waved their arms around.I got this movie as part of the 50 Classic Sci-Fi Movies pack available at amazon.com or that deep discount DVD place. I highly recommend getting one or more of those.

***SPOILER ALERT***** hhhhhmmmmmm,it's so hard to describe the sheer genius of this epic space-opera...but i must push forward.every single element of every single scene is spot-on for lunacy. the first time i saw this, i thought i was dreaming it'cause it was too awesome to be true. first, the dialogue is untouchable. you can't do this on purpose. it sounds like they put it on dice and had the actors spit it out and then read it. it's mind boggling (i've sampled so much of this movie in my music, i should just have showings of it instead of participating). every word is beautiful nonsense. i thought i'd pee my draws when the captain, in an effort to calm his crew, suggests that the computer might be drunk. awesome. it's like pulp fiction in that you can close your eyes and just listen to the dialogue.but that would leave out... second, the sets and the ships, though cheap and ridiculous still sell the point. they look like they're in space. it would be boring if you could spot the sets, but no...this is its own universe (except maybe the shadow that gets cast on space when one guy spacewalks). third, the plot!!!!!!!!!!!the computer sends them to check out this unstable planet, on the way a man is wounded by acid that contacts his suit (?) and the reason is never explained why he went outside the ship anyway. they land on the planet, discover a race of green bald-people ("my voice is words that enter the mind!")who are bullied by a giant robot that's so slow you'd have to be sleeping to get caught. the robot's controlled by a giant computer that is helpless, yet threatens the captain to put it back together. he does, even after it explains that it will conquer the galaxy upon doing so. it laughs maniacally, they hit it with a rock and set off a chain reaction that destroys the planet (whose people would have been better off without the help), but rescue one green guy, who walks around proudly in their uniform while they laugh at him (apparently he doesn't mind that his entire race is dead). in the clincher, a man is possessed by the computer AND goes on a killing spree. everyone wimps out except for the green guy who fights him vigorously until they blast him AND the possessed guy out into space, thus wiping out the last of the alien race. this is followed by much celebration and a twist ending that shyamalan himself would be proud of.DO NOT MISS THIS FILM. it's cheap by itself or in one of those boxes with 50 other sci/fi classics you never wanted to see. a must for any sci/fi fan or any fan of bad movies period. i can't fully express my love of this film, but i can say that everyone i talk into seeing it, buys it the next day...it's that great. ****1/2 (as a p.s. to this love letter, i'd like to thank this and WAR OF THE ROBOTS for inspiring my band THE DOOMSDAY DEVICE to exist in the first place.)