War of the Planets (1978)

Just what I expected

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Strong acting helps the film overcome an uncertain premise and create characters that hold our attention absolutely.

The movie really just wants to entertain people.

In all honesty, I'm probably being a bit generous with the rating here, but, though I've only very recently started writing reviews on IMDB, I figure I'm not going to rate something I do still kind of enjoy lower than a 5. Maybe my ideas will change about this as time goes on. Right now, I can't say. This movie is not boring, even though it's rather inept, and even laughable. I've seen almost all of these Bresccia space movies from 77/80 now and theyr'e all real bargain bin stuff, but this one is probably the best of the lot. Whether that is of any significance, depends on you. Regardless, all these films are of the sort of quality that makes the Gamma 1 films from 10+ years before seem like works of majestic artistry. You should probably be scared by that assertion.I can just imagine some drunk producer, having just gotten out of a viewing of Star Wars in 1977, calling up poor Alfonso on the phone and shouting, "WE GOTTA MAKE A MOVIE LIKE THIS! GET TO IT!" Alfonso, being a patient, quiet sort of man (ok, I'm really guessing, here), could not make his gentle queries about budgetary concerns and such heard. So, it's off to the junk yard he goes, to pick up any vaguely electronic-looking odds-and-ends he can find. Armed with this and a few bottles of super-glue, and a lot of wire, he proceeds to assemble his motley band of space marines.So, I know it's been mentioned before, but the editing of this film is weird, and makes it seem almost more artistic than it probably is. Scenes from the beginning of the film are never explained, or the consequences only kind of reveal themselves at the very end. A few of the scenes might be out of order -- or they might not be. it's up to you to decide. The result is -- actually kind of cool, in a loopy, doped-up way.What's interesting, too, is that while this may have been intended as a Star Wars cash-in, it's really not much like Star Wars at all. What this resembles, to me, is the original Star Trek series crashing messily into Barbarella. So, basically, this film , ather than being in any way on the cutting-edge of a new sci-fi trend, already looks, feels, sounds -- ten, or even fifteen years, out of date. The fact our man Al was probably asked to do the best he could to simulate Star Wars and came up with -- this -- is actually quite something, isn't it?Also, there are about three trick endings, each more hilarious than the last. At the finish, I swear I almost felt like clapping. They had some balls to pull this off, I'll say that for 'em. if you're gonna watch one of these turkeys, let it be this one.

Only the most determined and devoted of science fiction fans will make it all the way through this without reaching for an extra strength Tylenol. You might also get a headache by the red and tan outfits that the astronauts wear in this, with caps to match. The leaders of the mission look like they raided Aquaman's closet and headed to the other direction to avoid discovery. It's in the hands of hot tempered captain John Richardson to figure out what's causing some sort of interference all over earth, and that supposedly has something to do with huge meteor showers flying through space. Tedious from start to finish, this lays there like one of Mars' moons, simply spouting off scientific sounding terms to sound intelligent. What it ends up as is pretentious and phony, really offering no surprises and making absolutely no sense. Unless this was released with the financial assistance of a pain reliever firm, it makes no sense as to how this escaped a movie studio editing booth.

STAR WARS has a lot to answer for. When George Lucas' film first came out, it kick-started the sci-fi genre after years of po-faced shenanigans in the wake of 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY; it revitalised the serial-adventure genre, leading to a plethora of 1980s films like INDIANA JONES; and it 'inspired' a ton of rip-offs around the globe. No country ripped it off more than Italy, and director Alfonso Brescia is best known today for his series of insanely awful attempts at 'space operas', done with no budget, no intelligence, no reason. COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS is one of his worst, an utterly cheesy, often indescribable attempt at an adventure flick that makes no sense whatsoever. At the same time, watched in the right mood, it's a hilarious movie, often providing a ton of so-bad-it's-good entertainment along the way. It's no Turkish STAR WARS, but it comes close at times.Where to start? Our "heroes" (including a token black guy who bites it) wear tight-fitting uniforms (great on the girls, not so great on the guys) and even tighter-fitting red helmets that make them look ridiculous. Later on, there's an alien guy who looks like a cross between Yoda and a Hari Krishna, and an absolutely amusing fight between him and an ugly, skin-peeling vampire guy (possessed by a computer?) that seems to come out of a horror film rather than a cheesy sci-fi flick. But it's the special effects that make this movie so very BAD: space scenes where stars are lightbulbs; computers made of cardboard; a killer robot as bad as the ones in Turkish flicks, resembling a big version of those walking toys, which is destroyed by somebody chucking a stone at it; green-painted alien beings; the worst model spaceship since, well, ever and plenty more besides.Square-jawed actor John Richardson carved a career out of these movies and he's as wooden as they come. The rest of the cast aren't much better. Yanti Somer appeared in even more, probably because she looks so good in her tight-fitting costumes. But if awful acting, stilted dubbed dialogue, appalling direction and the worst SFX seen in a film are your cup of tea, then by all means give COSMOS: WAR OF THE PLANETS a go!

This is one of the only movies I can watch over and over and always enjoy. I usually put it on just as I'm going to bed and let it lead me off to dreamy land . . . It's true that many people don't like this movie, or just consider it a poor Italian rip-off of Star Wars or Space 1999, or something else, but for some odd reason that I haven't been able to figure out, it's extremely compelling and really holds my attention. Yes, the sets are cheap, the costumes are pretty silly, and the special effects look extremely fake, but even so, some rare quality seeps through all the external cheesiness and something sticks with you! There are some unique ideas expressed in this film. There is also technology not seen in other movies. For example, the view screen on the bridge of the spaceship MK31 often shows a view of the MK31 itself as it files through space, as though there is some type of remote camera flying behind the ship, or beside it, for the sole purpose of the crew being able to view their own ship in flight. How this is achieved, I don't know. It's obviously a technology far ahead of what we have. It's not the kind of detail you notice right away, but once you do, it's fascinating! There's a lot of food for thought here. I thought about this movie for days after I first saw it and then began to watch it regularly. After a while, all other movies looked weird in comparison. One of the most interesting movies I've ever seen.