Scorpion Thunderbolt (1984)

Strong and Moving!

I cannot think of one single thing that I would change about this film. The acting is incomparable, the directing deft, and the writing poignantly brilliant.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

How much credit should you give to a guy who is only responsible for about fifteen percent of the footage you actually see in a film? Who knows, but I'm giving this Godfrey Ho film an eight anyway. I'm not even sure if he's actually seen any of it himself.This one (or two, if you know what I mean), involves a lady who turns into a snake demon every time a blind guy plays a flute which is triggered by a witch demon playing the bongos. In snake form this lady goes out and murders folks in graphic ways. The police are baffled. And crap, but she manages to hook up with one of them anyway (the one that's practically stalked by one of his colleagues).In the film that Godfrey Ho actually bothered doing himself, Richard Harrison is baffled as various people wearing the same t-shirt constantly attack him in order to get a sacred ring off of him. The first person to try this is an actress who puts the moves on Richard while they are both watching a film of the actress being painted (just like Majestic Thunderbolt!).This one is really high on the insane visuals, what with a guy playing pool while firing the balls straight at the crotch of his prisoner, then there's the lunatic with the dead pig hiding up in a tree, or two cobras descending from a ceiling to bite a guy in the eyes at the same time. Utter madness.This is a great Godfrey Ho film and well worth your time - Perhaps not so funny as usual (what with most of the film being stolen wholesale and just played out, although we do get the hilarious cockney accents), it's still highly entertaining and never boring for a minute.It's on YOUTUBE.

Well, what can be said ? A literally indescribable film, even weirder than it sounds ! "Plot" involves a female journalist who turns into a rubber snake monster every time a blind man plays a flute, a series of bizarre events happening to Richard Harrison instigated by a witch, whom he has to destroy using a magic ring, some completely unrelated footage which involves some bloke tossing a cat's torso from the top of a tree, and, and ..... it just gets weirder ! It apparently features scenes from some old far eastern horror film, spliced together with footage of Harrison in an attempt to hang some kind of narrative together. The result is kind of like a martial arts film directed by Ed Wood, only more inept, and a lot funnier. For serious connoisseurs of bad movies only. A joy from start to finish !

An evil, clawed, cackling witch woman unleashes a savage humanoid snake monster that embarks on a brutal killing spree in a major city. The ever-suave Richard Harrison has to fend off several assassins who want his magic ring and must find the witch in order to stop her. Meanwhile, fetching lady reporter Helen fears that she might be the snake monster. Once again singularly all-thumbs writer/director Godfrey Ho does his customary slipshod cut'n'paste hackjob of haphazardly combining two separate films together with a flagrant disregard for both cinematic artistry and narrative coherence. For example, take the totally nonsensical sequence with Harrison picking up an attractive American hitch-hiker (she naturally flashes her breasts in order to get a ride from Richard). Harrison takes the lass to a movie theater, she performs a striptease for Richard, they proceed to make love, and the chick even attempts to kill him while they're in the middle of doing just what you think. Moreover, we've also got a constant swift pace, lots of graphic, yet cheesy gore, a few pulsating disco tunes blaring away on the soundtrack (one gal gets attacked by the monster while dancing in her living room to a pounding disco tune!), gaudy cinematography, sleazy soft-core sex, ineptly staged martial arts fights, laughably lousy dubbing (an Asian police officer sports an utterly incongruous plummy British accent!), tasty gratuitous female nudity, plenty of slithery snakes, a mysterious blind flute player, a riotously pathetic rubbery beast, and a fiery over-the-top conclusion. All these choice cruddy ingredients add up to produce one hilariously awful, but still hugely entertaining mess of a gut-busting schlock howler.

Another film based on a story by AAV Creative Unit This movie walks that fine line between being "one of the absolutely worst films ever made" and "one of the absolutely worst films ever made, yet somehow entertaining". Its a line it crosses and re-crosses frequently with in its 90 minute running time making for a surreal experience. (And don't get me wrong this movie is BAD, but its occasionally as low as you can go in badness and still be enjoyable in a jaw dropping sort of way.) The plot of this film has a witch queen sending off a rubber suited monster thats controlled by a guy playing a magic flute off to kill people while the cops try to stop the mayhem. Meanwhile in unrelated footage Richard Harrison runs around trying to look like he's part of the movie after a girl he picks up on the side of the road (after she flashes him her breasts) dies spewing orange ooze after a failed murder attempt during sex. I wish I was making this up.Dreadful, this is a movie that will tax even the most jaded bad movie lover. Die Hard bad movie fans will eat this up most others will be shaking their head wondering what in the wide wide world of sports is going on how many people actually paid to see it.Avoid.