Zombie vs. Ninja (1987)

Thanks for the memories!

Fantastic!

A lot more amusing than I thought it would be.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

Me and some friends found a copy of this in a local video store, renting it was 3$ but we bought it for 2$ instead, that was promising, they really wanted to get rid of it. Anyway we were looking for the worst movie available to laugh and we found it. Zombie vs Ninja guess who wins? NOBODY they never fight There are two horrible plots in this movie, two groups of ninjas, the ninjas and nin jas, and for some reason they are fighting, gold or something, really doesn't make sense. And the one that is apparently the good guy, not because of what he does but because he is better and braver. He fights with the dragons fire burns hot crap style. Anyway, in this part of the story nothing really happens. this guy whats through the woods and somehow doesn't notice the bright yellow and blue dressed guys hiding in the woods. they attack him but you know there is always a sword somewhere on a tree right, so he picks it up and wins. In the second plot, this guy, Ethan, has a father that was robbed and killed so he wants revenge and learns kungfu from an undertaker, go figure. Anyway this undertaker always extends his lines in a successful attempt to sound retarded, and says lines like, i have to go take a s~t and summons 1 or 2 zombies, hardly a horde. The only way you can distinguish the zombies from the humans is that they act like robots, dommo arigato mr zombie. And guess what the good guys win and yatti yatta, bad plot nothing happens. But the image is the worst, we noticed the image skip (when they stop filming and restart later from that point) around 4 times in the movie. Most of the time the actors aren't on screen since they cut off most of their faces when they switched it to full screen. WHY THE HECK DRESS IN SHINY FLASHY CLOTHING LABLED NINJA IF YOU WANT TO SURPRISE SOMEONE TO ASSASSINATE HIM! WHY FIGHT ZOMBIES FOR FUN OR LEARN KUNGFU FROM AN UNDERTAKER? WHY Doesn't THE NINJAS AND ZOMBIES FIGHT? Horrible but funny if you watch it in a group. If you have ever seen kung pow this is probably the movie they were laughing at since the mouths never move with the words

Viewers searching for thought provoking and quality entertainment had better look away now, for this is yet another of Godfrey Ho's legendary ninja flicks from the nineteen eighties!Yes, it's another one of those crazy cut and splice outings in which western actors dressed in luminous ninja togs look somewhat baffled to find themselves edited into completely non-ninja related movies whilst their voices are bizarrely over dubbed with unfathomable accents!'Zombie vs Ninja'....hmmmmm.....The title of this movie may evoke exciting visions of brave ninja battling it out with legions of George Romero's walking dead.....but hold on - this is Godfrey Ho at the helm here and so you just know that your expectations are not exactly going to be met!Sure enough and true to usual crap-tacular form, at no point in this movie does our man Ho deliver ninja and zombies actually slugging it out (or even actually meeting for that matter!!!)The zombie segments in this are from a completely separate kung fu movie in which an old necromancer utilises the risen dead as a bizarre but highly efficacious training aid! The story details how Ethan, the necromancers student, learns devastating martial arts in the aforementioned manner in order to exact revenge upon the miscreants who murdered his family. It has to be said that the martial arts choreography on display here in this story is excellent, especially the climatic fight which showcases some old Shaw Brothers style action.The ninja segments also revolve around another tale of revenge and are, as usual in these films, tremendously fun.However the very best bit in the movie is a line of dialogue from the zombie segment in which the zombie master decides to reanimate a corpse to test Ethan's developing combative prowess. The necromancer makes the excuse that he needs to defecate and goes and crouches in a ditch where he begins his magical incantations. However, unbeknown to him, Ethan spies him squatting down making what appear to be exaggerated 'straining' noises and subsequently utters what has to be one of the most hilarious lines in movie history! If you've ever seen this film then I'm sure you'll remember the line as it's not likely that once heard you'll ever forget it!

I picked up a copy of this movie as I love zombie movies and ninja movies. With a title like Zombie vs Ninja, naturally I expected to see combat between zombies and ninjas. I expected this even more so after reading the description on the box which made a statement about the doors of hell being open unleashing a "zombie horde." Wow!Imagine my horror to discover that this film is actually a composite of 1)a film about an undertaker, who happens to be able to teach his young apprentice kung fu skills, and 2)scenes that appear to have been shot for the only purpose of being inserted into this film to incorporate "ninjas" into the storyline.The actors in the zombie story and the ninja story never appear on screen together. However, an attempt is made to make us believe they are in the same story as closeups of the actors are intercut to make it appear as if they are talking to each other.The "zombie horde" is certainly an overstatement as we never see more than three or four zombies at once. The master keeps calling them up to train the young apprentice in kung fu skills, surely a questionable method of training at best.The "ninjas" are probably the most hilarious thing I have ever seen. They are caucasians who wear shiny, brightly colored ninja outfits, and have names like Bert, Bob, and Ira. Uhhhh.... not exactly what you expect froma ninja movie. Their costumes appear to be made of plastic and are white, yellow, and blue, which really should make them quite visible in the forest. The funniest thing about the ninja characters is that they wear headbands that say "ninja" or "nin ja" with japanese writing in between the two syllables. What sort of ninja - arguably the most deadly invisible assassins - wear headbands that announce who they are?! I believe they were labeled as otherwise no one watching the film would ever know they were supposed to be ninjas as their outfits do not look anything like any other ninja costume I've seen in any movie.Also, there are two ninja forces in the film, but it is not readily apparent. I kept wondering why they were fighting and killing their own friends, until the two ninja leaders fought at which point I realized that up until then I had thought they were the same guy. I believe that the two styles of ninja headbands - "ninja" and "nin ja" were used to differentiate the two bands of ninjas.While this has to be seen to be appreciated, the movie is really bad, but not bad enough to be enjoyable. Watch at your own risk. If you are easily confused, I advise you to stay away.

A friend of mine and I went on a mission to find the worse movie of all time. After we watched this movie, we did not even bother to put in the other movies we rented.A plot summary, character break down, or comments on the directing and acting would be useless. Only see this movie if to want to see something that is truly bad.Also, do not make a mistake by thinking that this movie is bad in the way of the classic bad movies like, "Plan 9 From Outer Space". . . Zombie vs Ninja is just plain cut you eyes out, tear off your ears, smash your VCR, horrible. I am glad that this movie is not available to corrupt the DVD market.