Adam and Eve (1983)

Such a frustrating disappointment

Best movie ever!

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, followed by light, water, whales and a whole load of other shizz. Eventually, he created man in his own image. In time, man created Hollywood, and not long after that, the Italians created rip-offs. Adam and Eve Meet The Cannibals is the Italian answer to American 'loss of innocence' movies like The Blue Lagoon (1980) and Paradise (1982), the film following its photogenic titular couple (played by Mark Gregory of Bronx Warriors 1&2, and Andrea Goldman of nothing else) as they struggle to survive after being cast out of the Garden of Eden for sampling the forbidden fruit.The film is largely an excuse for directors Enzo Doria and Luigi Russo to show their stars in the buff; both Adam and Eve frolic buck naked, making this an equal opportunities exploitation flick—something for both men and women to enjoy. But being Italian rip-off movie-makers, they can't help but throw in lots of mind bogglingly daft nonsense, making their film an absolute hoot of biblical proportions. In addition to the copious nudity, viewers are also treated to a hilarious action scene inspired by Raiders of the Ark (a massive stop-motion boulder rolling after Adam and Eve in a display of pathetic special effects), a couple of dreadful animal attacks (a manky pterodactyl and a moth-eaten bear), a tribe of ape-men (and women), and, of course, the cannibals: a race of laughable pig-faced, ginger-haired creatures.Obviously, this is far from great cinema, and not really deserving of a very high rating, but for those who enjoy unadulterated trash, Adam and Eve Meet The Cannibals is a must-see.5.5/10 (rounded up to 6 for IMDb) for the bear and the prehistoric bird, and for Goldman, a terrible actress but very easy on the eye.

Adam and Eve (1983) ** 1/2 (out of 4) God creates Adam (Mark Gregory) and then graces him with Eve (Andrea Goldman) but before long they are cast out of the Garden of Eden after Eve eats from the forbidden fruit. Soon the two are out on a crazy adventure that leads them through some dangerous places.This here was released to American video shelves as ADAM AND EVE MEET THE CANNIBALS so that there should pretty much tell you everything you need to know. This here is 100% pure Italian exploitation and it's just a downright mind-numbing movie from start to finish. It's basically a version of THE BLUE LAGOON but we've got the story of Adam and Eve to tell but I seriously doubt the filmmakers were overly familiar with the Bible! If you're wanting something to show the kiddies then this here certainly isn't that. No, this here is pure exploitation and it's downright hilarious at times. There are so many crazy things going on in this picture that it would be wrong for me to spoil all of them but if you're familiar with the genre then you already know that bad special effects don't stop them from making a movie. Just wait until you see the scene where a giant big attacks Adam and he has to fight it off. Even better is a beyond awful sequence where Eve is attacked by a bear and Adam and another man has to rescue her. The look of this bear is so crazy that you'll be wondering if someone slipped acid into your drink! As you'd expect, we've got some really lame performances and the dubbing is pretty bad as well but there's really not too much dialogue. Instead we basically just see these two lovers go from one destination to the next and of course there's always some sort of drama. And yes, there are cannibals, ape creatures and a variety of other weird things on hand. The opening creation scene of Adam was actually well-done as was Eve's birth but on the whole there's really not much of anything "good" here.Fans of bad cinema are really going to love watching this. It's certainly one of the craziest movies out there and as awful as it is, the thing always has something happening in it and it's certainly never boring. A must see for fans of Italian exploitation.

Probably the only reason this title caught your eye is that it stars Mark Gregory from 1990: The Bronx Warriors and Escape from the Bronx. This is his first film after Bronx Warriors and boy is it strange. Both directors of Adam & Eve also co-directed the Blue Lagoon rip-off "Blue Island" a year prior, and this film similarly attempts to capitalize on that as well as 1981's Quest for Fire. Although the Italians did exploit a number of genres in the early 80s, this is an extremely small sub-genre unlike the fantasy and sci-fi rip-offs that were more ubiquitous.Adam & Eve shares much of the same sensibilities as any other Italian exploitation film of that era. There's some skin, there's some sex, some (minor) gore, a fantasy setting, extremely cheap (but charming) production values.Surprisingly, this film is really not all that bad. The locations they shot the film are absolutely gorgeous which really set the film apart visually from other genre films of that era. The story of Adam & Eve (from the Bible) is well known and the plot of the film incorporates it surprisingly competently. Once cast out from the Garden, the plot involves encounters with what is best described as a tribe of cavemen and then a violent encounter with savages. Oh, there is the bear scene, and it is gloriously bad...I'm talking worse than Yor. Unfortunately the bear scene is short, but by God, if you like 80s Italian exploitation I guarantee you will never forget it.I found this little known film on Amazon Prime streaming in a very nice 16:9 print. Personally, I loved the film--but I am a MAJOR fan of Psychotronic film in general and Italian exploitation films from that era in particular. Although most viewers will find films like this laughable and worthy of mocking, I really appreciate them as akin to pulp entertainment. Only folks who share my sensibilities are likely to enjoy this movie--all others should seek out the films it rips off (Blue Lagoon & Quest for Fire).

BLUE PARADISE starts off in the beginning of time when God created Earth and the heavens. Adam, a young man born from a life-sized cocoon, spends his days yearning for a mate to share his time with. He creates a statuesque figure of a woman made with beach sand, but when rain pours onto his creation it reveals a woman underneath (!!!). Don't ask. This is of course, Eve. In a nutshell, she is tempted to eat the forbidden fruit because "she wants a change", from here on out our duo are thrust into obstacle after obstacle facing natural disasters, badly animated boulders, pteradactyls, and even a savage tribe of flesh-eating cavemen! For a film of it's type BLUE PARADISE is rather tame. There's a bit of violence here and there, but that isn't the main focus like so many of these 70s/80s Italian exploitation films. A rather wild experience it is, far ahead of it's time with good direction, tolerable acting, fantastic music, plenty of bright, colorful characters, quirky situations, and quite a bit of comedy thrown in as well - Eve nagging and complaining, the stock footage, the "boulder" scene - LOL! Worth a look for fans of the psychotronic and unusual.