White Reindeer (2013)

I'll tell you why so serious

It was OK. I don't see why everyone loves it so much. It wasn't very smart or deep or well-directed.

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

This is not a comedy. This is not a dark comedy. This is not a black comedy. This is not a drama, a dramedy or anything. This is a vacuum bubble. A nothing, a blank wall. This is the feel nothing movie of the year not good or bad or tragic. A null. A women who has a tragedy in her life before Christmas. She jumps right over grief to catatonia. She discovers the people in her life all have secret lives and discovers she doesn't have a life or any existence of her own. She has zero response to everything. The only excitement in her life is throwing up. I guess that's something. Anyway there's sex and drugs and shoplifting, strippers, swingers and people who are really really ugly naked. And none of it registers or matters in the least.

I do like dark/bleak comedies, but this just takes too long and does not have enough to tell. Don't get it twisted, this is not a family picture nor your typical Christmas movie, which I all knew going in and you should too. The story does not just happen to be around Christmas time though, it's supposed to be that way, to show us what happens behind close doors and the other side of Christmas (see also Neighbors and their "way" of celebrating).The humor is not lost to me, but the message is not sufficient enough to warrant the running time. There are a lot of long pauses that are supposed to enhance the "message", but only succeed in stopping the movie in its tracks. The performances are good enough, but the characters do not have much to say other than the central message. A few nice set pieces (see Neighbors) are not enough to help elevate this. There are worse movies, but this misses out on a couple of things too

I can't really add much more criticism than to say "me too" to the 1-star reviews already posted. That said, I'll go on to note that this movie squandered a heluva a good storyline. And, I'm assuming that the storyline is the sole reason for the positive critical reviews on rotten tomatoes. The story involves the tragedies that befall ordinary folk during celebratory seasons, and those stories are a fact of life. Sadly the debilitating depression brought on by the double whammy of a tragedy during Chrismastime isn't represented in this movie in a way that feels interesting or genuine. I kept wanting for something visceral to happen - but nothing ever does. Or at least she could have had realistic or colorful co-workers instead of the cardboard cutouts created here. I remember how the movie "Doubt" took a small thing and through amazing dialog had the audience on the edge of their seats. Well, the dialog is so sparse in uninteresting in this movie you'll be looking for a Serta Sleeper mattress.

***Pre-Review Warning: on the off-chance some well-meaning parent looking to entertain their children around X-Mas will, because of the title, stick this in the DVD and then disappear to go shopping, I feel compelled to point out THIS IS NOT THAT KIND OF MOVIE!! ^^^ (... review begins here...) The key to this film may be -- I am not sure -- the "thank yous" at the very end for the "kickstarters". I have seen a lot of films, perhaps more than I care to admit to, but this is unusual. Therefore (and apologies if I got this wrong) it looks to me like the Director/Writer is trying to make the jump from Editor (ie, employee) to Producer (employer) and, to accomplish this enterprise, has taken to heart the old adage, if you can't get $10,000.00 from one person, then get $1 from 10,000 people (or something similar, do the math yourself). So, bottom line, what exactly do we have here? Best I can figure, writer/director Zach Clark has taken upon himself, without any outside help (CLEARLY without outside help) the momentous task of de-constructing X-Mas. The story is about a young wife in her early thirties who is married to the weatherman for the local station. They have a superficially good marriage, adequate sex, she loves him, he has just got a job in Hawaii and her life is about to change. But unfortunately not in the way she expects. Coming home from X-Mas shopping, she finds hubby mysteriously (and graphically) dead from what looks like a robbery gone wrong, and she spends the rest of the film in a downward spiral of self-discovery (and the aforesaid X-Mas deconstruction) as a superimposed-on-screen "___ DAYS BEFORE X-MAS" timer counts down, perhaps as a teaching aid for those who may otherwise be missing the point. (A category which I suspect may include most of the "kickstarter" team). The rest of the story is taken up with the revelation that hubby had a black stripper-mistress, spending money for the sake of feeling better until there is no more; getting to know the Swingers next door; and the revelation that the wife may be pregnant. (If I got any of this wrong, write me, Tweet me, or just think really strong thoughts and I promise to pick them out of the Ether). The direction is promising, surprisingly, and with a better script and actors, might have actually resulted in a better movie. However since the Director is also the Writer, he will no doubt have to have a long talk with himself about that. The acting - well, er, except for Anna Margaret Hollyman, who comes across as genuinely fresh and interesting (and could in the Real World have carried a film similar to this entirely on her own) the rest of the cast seems to be volunteers or extras or (is this even legal?) extra-volunteers who may possibly have paid or "kickstarted" for the privilege of being in the film. Or so it seems. **Factoid: within 2 hrs of posting this review, 5 people coincidentally flagged it as "not useful," which is more people than there are actual leads in the film. X-Files anyone?**