Majestic Thunderbolt (1985)

Touches You

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

Yet another Gofrey Ho film that defies logic, gives the finger to common sense, farts in a bag and releases it into the face of good taste, and mails a turd to folks who don't like to be confused. Here, Godfrey Ho-Ho-Ho gives us Majestic Thunderbolt, the most violent cut-n-paste film I've seen from him yet.Richard Harrison and his moustache get off a plane with some diamonds and immediately get robbed by Philip Ko and friends. The diamonds belong to Mr Franco (Played by Phil Lynnot of Thin Lizzy)who is battling rival gang run by Tiger Chan. When Franco's men kill Richard's girlfriend, and also kill the brother of Alan Chan, it's vendetta city with a side order of "This is actually two films spliced together badly".Rather than give myself a nosebleed by describing the plot, here a list of what goes on in this film. Harrison tracks down Ko (sometimes on roller skates with a baseball bat) while Ko paints a nude woman before drinking her blood for some reason. Mr Franco poisons people while watching synchronised swimming and harpoons fish that hang from strings. Alan Chan kills loads of folks in various ways (exploding toilets, acid showers, falling chandeliers), while one character manages to remain hidden for almost the entire film before revealing himself. Also, one guy gets shot about seventy times and even melons can't escape the carnage.Throw in a lot (and I mean A LOT) of violence, uncomfortable misogyny, uncomfortable animal cruelty (it loses a point for those), and you've got one of the most "exciting" and "action packed" "films" that Godfrey's delivered into the world from his bizarre, film making womb.Aye.

Fans of inept movies, raise your glasses for here's yet another master work by that godfather of the cinematic craptacular, Mr. Godfrey Ho!Yes the Ho'ster strikes again with this typically bungled cut and splice turd fest starring an embarrassed looking Richard Harrison.Amongst the wholesome choice ingredients on offer here are an impotent, frizzy-haired mob boss, a gang of assassins who dress like the blues brothers, some joyously grisly murders including death by exploding toilet(!), a throat cutting utilising dental equipment(!) a chandelier impalement(!) and a band saw amputation! Also on the menu is a spot of naked and bound female body painting, some rough sex, a human sacrifice, a roller skating baseball bat'ing and some target practise using chickens!Confused? Intrigued? Mentally deranged? You really need to see this film to believe it!For fans of Ho's work (or am I the only one?) this is essential demented viewing!

Another cut and paste effort from IFD/Joseph Lai/Godfrey Ho, this features Richard Harrison and Phillip Ko. Let me see if I can explain the plot for you. Okay, we open with shots of an aquatic park. Why? Who knows as it is never mentioned again. Richard Harrsion plays Richard who arrives in Hong Kong and immediately meets up with John Ladalski (bad sign). They are attacked in an underground parking garage by Phillip Ko (playing a character named Phillip Ko) and his thugs who steal a briefcase full of diamonds. Still with me? Hold on...Phillip Ko works for a guy named Tiger Chan. Tiger Chan and another crimeboss named Franco are feuding over these diamonds. Franco's men kill Richard's girl Mimi but Franco doesn't like killing so he kills the men who did it. He then sends men to kill a young man who works for Tiger Chan who has the diamonds. They get the diamonds but this upsets Alan Pang, the kid of the brother who begins a murder spree. Meanwhile, Richard visits his friend Steve and finds out that Phillip Ko used to be in a deadly assassin team in NYC with his sister. Cut to a flashback in the forest (of NYC?) where Phillip and his sister blow up melons. Alan continues killing Franco's men by unusual methods like exploding toilets and the ol' crucifixion/covered in snakes bit. Phillip spends his free time painted Chinese symbols on a nude woman while Richard keeps looking for him. Richard beats up a guy in the dentist's office to get the info. Later, he beats up the same guy while donning rollerskates. Yes, rollerskates. In the meantime, Alan has killed everyone in Franco's gang but finds out Tiger Chan used his brother on purpose because Alan would go on a rampage. After Phillip has killed his lover and drank her blood, he and Richard square off on a beach. As they stand off, five or six chickens appear on a rock and both men proceed to shoot them! WTF!?! Then Richard throws his sword into Phillip, hops in a boat and floats away. THE END! I hope your head hurts as much as mine now. 5 exploding chickens.

Rather than pose the immortal question of "What's the best film ever?", it's much better to consider "What's the most dramatic death scene in a film?" Is it when Rick finally puts a bullet into Major Strasser? How about the loss of innocence as Elias falls in Platoon? Or is it "Majestic Thunderbolt's" great offering as a couple in-coitus are slaughtered by a falling chandallier?Let's just say that the falling chandallier scene sets the tone for the rest of this "Film". I'm feeling rather touchy on whether-or-not to even class "Majestic Thunderbolt" as a film. It stands as an insult to B Movie makers everywhere, and in all brutal honesty, should be banned from all sheves, and only viewed when on the verge of going into an alcohol-induced coma.0/10 is too good for Majestic Thunderbolt.