Hillside Cannibals (2006)

The Worst Film Ever

Pretty Good

It’s an especially fun movie from a director and cast who are clearly having a good time allowing themselves to let loose.

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

I rented this movie Winter break of my junior year to celebrate exams being over. I'd heard about this movie while researching the infamous Sawney Beane, so I decided to check it out. The 1st 10 minutes were boring, but then it got good. Lots of gore. But as the movie went on......plot-holes. I mean, she finds a random huntsman like dude. WTF, where'd he come from?! The only good scenes in the flick were the scissors, and anything with Vaz or Erika in it.But, they could've done better. Location wise. Mojave desert?! The true Beane Clan lived in Scotland. Dammit Leigh, get it right!! Though Sawney acted like I imagined him too, all perverted and whatnot. XD Vaz Andreas was so hot in it. Seriously, he was sexy. And Erika Rhoby was as adorable was she was hungry. Heather Confornto was not a very good actress though. They could have found someone better.

Within the first 30 seconds of the title sequence I was going to give HILLSIDE CANNIBALS the benefit of the doubt : " Hey this is one of those THE HILLS HAVE EYES rip offs " I said to myself and knew I wasn't going to be watching a masterpiece . Within the following five minutes I was still giving it the benefit of the doubt: " Hey horny teenagers with weed , beer and a sex drive , this is one of those HALLOWEEN rip offs " I said to myself and knew I wasn't going to be watching a masterpiece . However ten minutes later I had more or less given up on the movie . It's a gory film , a derivative film , a retro film but worse of all it's a film that makes no sense whatsoever . Even a hardcore horror fan and IMDb contributer like Paul Andrews despised this film which shows youhow absolutely dreadful it is Even the subtitle THE LEGEND OF SAWNEY BEAN makes no sense . I remember as a child reading a book by Daniel Farson which was the first time I'd heard of the legend of an inbreed brood killing and eating passerbys in a remote part of Scotland . A great number of people even in Scotland have never heard of the legend so what chance of the average American ? No doubt the average American teenager watching this will be scratching their head wondering why the male cannibals are wearing skirts . For those of us who have heard about the legend we'll all be scratching our heads wondering how mythical 17th century Scottish cannibals have suddenly decided to jump 6,000 miles and 300 years in to present day America . Have they got a Tardis ? This lack of explanation and logic goes well beyond the premise and in to every plot turn . I know 28 WEEKS LATER received a lot of criticism of characters acting stupid in order to drive the plot forward but that was still a highly entertaining well made movie with a political subtext where as here we have absolute garbage of the lowest order . For example if all these people have been disappearing over the years how come no one seems to be aware of this ? In fact it must have been so obvious to the sheriff that I started to think he might be involved in the culling himself long before it was revealed on screen he was . This leads to a ridiculous plot hole where he comes across the surviving female early in the film . Ask yourself this - why didn't he hand her over to the cannibals there and then instead of waiting till the end of the movie ? The above line is really a rhetorical question since if he did that the film would have ended , thereby saving the audience another hour of torture . That's basically all that happens plot wise - girl saves boy from cannibal den , boy gets captured and tortured again ,girl gets saved by survivalist , survivalist gets killed , girl gets captured by sheriff and to pad this out we have to endure meaningless scenes with the cannibals grunting and fighting amongst themselves . Perhaps the worst aspect is the ending where the film suddenly stops during a cannibal sex scene . It's impossible to believe atrocious rubbish like this was aborted during draft stage since it's undoubtedly one of the worst , most unentertaining films I have ever seen

There's some scary stuff here – the Blockbuster guy doesn't know what he's talking about. He's only rating the box and didn't see the movie. This is an ultra-low-budget desert-cannibal flick that takes the Scottish cannibal clan and puts them in the Mojave Desert. They obviously couldn't afford to go to Scotland but it's a modern day Sawney Bean tribe with ragged kilts and tons of prosthetic scar tissue. Sawney Bean never really existed – it's an English urban legend. There's no real historical basis so they clearly went with tons of blood and guts. Not a whole lot of story either but it is genuinely gross. I loved the violence, these wackos sure like their fingers. I liked this more than the recent "Hills Have Eyes" remake, which sucked big time. This movie is really inventively disgusting. There's lots of violence, some dubious acting but it's all worth it for the ending, which is sick and twisted and cool.

I love loads of horror films, and a rather wide variety, my favorites are stylized with a creepy atmosphere, but I can enjoy a film on gore alone if well done with a decently creepy premise or killer. This film, I wanted so badly to enjoy, but it was garbage, and most of the time I can find something to enjoy in films most consider trash. There's sadly nothing here. Its supposed to be about the legend of Sawney Bean, the head of an incestuous cannibalistic clan who lived in caves along the shores of Scotland over 400 years ago. What we have is a badly acted film with gore effects I literally have done better for Halloween costumes, with no real story to speak of. The cannibals barely do more than grunt and act like cave men, which is wrong. No one has a Scottish accent, the caves seem to be in the desert, plus its set in modern day, but sawney bean is supposed to still be alive and no explanation is given as to why. The actual legend of Sawney Bean is very creepy and great fodder for a horror film so why they decided to make this film without using ANY of the legend outside of the name sawney bean and cannibals living in a cave is beyond me. Texas Chainsaw Massacre part FOUR was better than this. If any real effort was put into making this film by its crew, thats very very pathetic as to what they were able to create. Disjointed, badly made, no plot drivel. There's really nothing here for even the most lenient critic to enjoy.Someone should properly make the Sawney Bean story into a film as that would actually be something to see, if done well.