Alien Blood (1999)

Such a frustrating disappointment

Good concept, poorly executed.

best movie i've ever seen.

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

ALIEN BLOOD is a very bizarre indie-budgeted fantasy/horror film which is heavily influenced by the old horror films of the 1960s and 1970s. It was shot in the rural wilds of Cumbria and has a plot that defies explanation, except that it features a woman being pursued by a vengeful pursuer. Oh, and aliens are involved somehow. Put out by Troma, this is an abstract, arthouse-style offering that might be described as Les Miserables meets Jean Rollin meets Fire in the Sky. Plenty of effort has gone into the visuals but the plot is real mess and the whole thing soon descends into incoherency. The lengthy slow motion sequence of the two naked women dressing each other has to be the low point here.

There's no way that this could be considered a good movie. The storyline is paper thin, and seems to be simply an excuse for random violence and nudity. Unfortunately for this film, neither the violence nor the nudity is particularly interesting. The fight sequences look terrible, and most of the time, you don't even see the kicks or punches hit. The actors who get hit look more like they're throwing themselves back rather than being thrown back by the force of the hit. The acting is atrocious; the dialog is sparse and poorly-delivered. Every character is two-dimensional, and you can forget about character development. In terms of special effects, this isn't just low-budget, this is almost cartoonish. Bullet holes apparently generate small squirts of stage blood, for example. The CGI is pretty bad, and consists mostly of a low-quality loop of some alien screaming every once and a while. All I can say is, don't watch this movie. There isn't a single redeeming quality about it.

I do understand it was on a budget, £5 or there abouts, but anyone could tell a story better than this. The film is badly put together and is almost a perfect example of how not to make a film. I thought the music was quite good though! Its a 3 4 £5 job in your nearest newsagent at best and thats being kind. I started getting a headache after 10 mins into the film. My house mate said he couldn't watch any more after 10 minutes also. This film gives hope to all budding film makers anywhere, if this can be released anything can. If you watch this film without the urge to fast forward you are a better man then I. I'm sure the 18 certificate is the only reason anyone picked it off a shelf in the first place.

I got this film in a dirt-cheap double DVD pack for the amazing price of £1.42, not bad XD. The description on the back was somewhat misleading as it mentioned "A house full of vampires", but actually the "Vampires" are only people having a fancy dress party (i didn't think Count Dracula's real first name was Frank anyway). There are a few faults with the film, such as a LOT of stock footage towards the end, how many times do we see the same two ..er.. badguys fall off a hill, one being zapped mid-drop. Also there are a few odd sounds dubbed on for no real reason (like farts and burps), and nearly every dying enemy moans in the same way. Plus at the start you don't really know what is happening as there is zero dialouge, except for a farmer talking about his horse. when people do talk its generally very quiet and hard to hear. Also near the end one woman takes off her big red frilly dress and says "we should get into something more appropriate", except she just stays in her underwear, not really the right clothes to hold off an armed siege. Finally the CGI spaceship looks pretty dodgy, they should have used a model suspended from fishing wire, it probably would have looked better, and been cheaper!. Still, this is quite a good film overall, if you can get past those "bugs", its kind of like a cross between The X-Files and Heartbeat (at the end they are all wearing 1960's clothes, if only one of them was driving the Ford Anglia seen on a farm...).