Darklands (1996)

Thanks for the memories!

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

Actress is magnificent and exudes a hypnotic screen presence in this affecting drama.

Whilst the plot owes a huge debt of inspiration to THE WICKER MAN (except the fertility "sun-worshipping" cult is relocated to Wales from a Scottish island, and a gang of poorly-dressed gypsies and Druid weirdos instead), and whilst it can't hope to equal that 1973 classic, DARKLANDS is a pretty good thriller for the modern horror genre which keeps its feet firmly on the ground. Due to the low budget, there are no elaborate special effects sequences or fancy action scenarios - instead, just a gritty, depressive feel to the film and plenty of suspense at the same time, especially towards the last half an hour.The biggest flaw this film has is its predictability - at all stages there's a "seen it all before" kind of feel. Plot twists involving friendly characters turning out to be bad guys are easy to spot and incredibly obvious, and the downbeat outcome, whilst short, and with maximum horror, also comes as no surprise to seasoned horror fans who may have seen THE WICKER MAN. Ironically, the sequences showing the Druid revellers dancing with chainsaws and the alike aren't really horrific or disturbing at all, just silly, and the few gore scenes are clumsy and mishandled (don't even get me started on that silly drug-induced sexual encounter with the woman in the red robe). Where DARKLANDS is at its most effective is in the quieter conspiracy-type moments as the lead character of Frazer Truick investigates mysterious happenings and has run-ins with various unsavoury characters, and the finale in which he gradually comes to realise that he's caught in one huge trap.Craig Fairbrass may not be everyone's choice for such a leading role, but to be fair he acts more here than his usual hardman action hero-type role requires. His no-frills everyman-style acting works well, giving the film a likable and dependable lead. The good supporting cast includes Rowena King as a mysterious girlfriend, Jon Finch (FRENZY) as a mysterious councillor and plenty more suspicious faces. The end result is that DARKLANDS is a familiar film which is easily missed - but for fans looking for serious hard-edged horror with no easy answers, it may be worth a look. It is unsatisfying, and you feel like something is missing, but it stands unique as one of the few (only?) Welsh-set horror films out there.

There is simply nothing to redeem this awful rip off of the wicker man. While other commentators seem to feel overly kind in that they mention it being similar, it was clearly an unashamed copy without the style or intellect. The pacing is terrible. the acting rotten (poor Jon Finch being the exception) and the directing haphazard.Failing at both intrigue and suspense, this so called horror simply becomes a waste of two hours of your life. Watching it will make you feel that A) you've seen the ideas done better before somewhere else and B) that if this film got the green light you and a few mates could probably get drunk with a cell phone and do a better job. You would be 100% correct in both assumptions.

An interesting take on the concept of getting Welsh National Film Council grant to make a film that made the Welsh look rather like COMPLETE LOONS!I had no idea to expect before watching the film, and a quick look at IMDb had me worried, especially as two of the main characters who had allegedly only just met were shagging by day 2 of the plot.The Welsh journalist has a dodgy east-end geezer accent, there are several inconsistencies in the story ("take him to room six, i will be along in a minute" - he is put in room 4).. but although kind of predictable, more than slightly cheesy, possibly quite tasteless and definitely lacking in any depth of plot; somehow a reasonably watchable sort of horror/shocker film does manage to fall out the far end.The druidy types come in subspecies of hippy druidy girls, madmax meets punk blokes, strange beardy cardigan wearing gypsies on a caravan site, steel workers, the NHS, the local police, the council... in fact, the whole town bar the mad priest appears to be plotting a sacrifice....Not much one poor reporter can do in the face of so much adversity, but he tries....

Between depressing police procedurals like "A Mind to Kill" and cultic crap like this, it's a wonder anyone has any respect for the Welsh, let alone any interest in visiting or living in Wales. Myself, based on just the above, I'd leave skidmarks in the opposite direction from Cardiff.Craig Fairbrass is no more convincing here as the journalist protag on the trail of a big story than he was as a love rat on Eastenders. Not that that matters much since a dyslexic Howler monkey could come up with a better script. We are asked to swallow, for example [hack, cough, spit], the idea that some Celtic cult that's a mix of pagan ritual, pseudo-freemasonry and virulent Welsh nationalism could get away with practicing human sacrifice in a large industrial town in Wales. Yeah, I'm sure Downing Street would *never* twig to that little regional conspiracy. Also, I never thought I'd say this, since I normally find horror movie sex scenes at least highly amusing, but there is a truly tedious amount of bonking. This very unfortunately has everything to do with the "shock climax" (if you'll pardon the pun). I could live with the downer ending if it had a point, but it doesn't. It's just nihilism for the sake of it--rather like the soundtrack, really. Not to mention an unhealthy dose of anti-Welsh stereotypes that makes it look like they could really use some chlorine in the gene pool down there in Wales.For a good downer movie about Celtic cults, do yourself an enormous favour and rent The Wicker Man instead. That one at least makes you think about who the good guys and bad guys are- -and the ending (which this one tried dismally to rip off) is much, much better.