Dead Clowns (2003)

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

Boring

Unshakable, witty and deeply felt, the film will be paying emotional dividends for a long, long time.

It's simply great fun, a winsome film and an occasionally over-the-top luxury fantasy that never flags.

This is one of the worst wastes of time I've ever sat through. Having said that, there's a place for movies like this. My daughter (18 at the time) and a bunch of friends brought this over to watch. The best part of the whole experience was the cracks I and others got to make about how bad it was. If every trying to win a "who can bring the worst movie" contest....this is your blue ribbon. Best way I described the acting: "Ok, I'm guessing the guy directing this had to offer this woman a part at 3:00 a.m. in his Dead Clowns movie to get laid that night". That's my guess on much of how the casting and acting was done.I never write reviews or take time for this stuff....but this deserved it. I was looking up "Dead Clowns" to remind my daughter of it when I saw the new trailer to "IT" by Steven King coming out this year.

"Ever get the feeling you've been cheated? Good night!" So said John Lydon in what was supposed to be the final Sex Pistols show. I never was a fan of the Pistols, but I feel that said quote is appropriate here. The band performed a cover of The Stooges classic "No Fun", then called it a night. That was the whole show. If they had gone off like that and remained split up, I would probably have more respect for them. The audience wasn't the least bit happy, which is how most should feel after seeing Steve Sessions' 2003 movie "Dead Clowns"-especially when you first read it's synopsis. What could have been a decent low budget gem is instead a dull, incompetent mess.The plot at first reads almost like a Troma movie-fifty years ago,a hurricane caused a circus train accident, which killed off several clowns. The town has mostly forgotten about this incident. That is, until another Hurricane is coming, and before you can say "Send in the clowns", here they come-undead, angry, and without flowers that squirt water.Amazingly, the movie decides to play itself straight for the large part, avoiding what could have been a sub Troma level Horror Comedy. It's also obvious what Sessions influences are here-John Carpenter's "The Fog", the zombie films of Lucio Fulci, and Amando de Ossorio's "Blind Dead" series. It obviously means well-it's atmospheric and gory enough-but the whole thing is a chore to watch. Why's that? Well for one thing, for all it's atmosphere, it doesn't know what to do with it. The movie just plods along, with events and kills occurring without any real interest or energy. There's no real story arc to it either. Sure, it has a plot, but the whole thing feels like it has no interest in doing anything as far as characters and story goes. And the characters are dumb too, and not amusingly dumb. They behave stupidly and barely even try to escape the zombie menace before them-as if they are practically begging to be killed. Let's also not forget the solution to stopping these Undead Bozos, which sets new standards for terrible plot devices in zombie movies.It particularly sucks because the idea of Zombie Clowns is a novel one, and it's obvious that Sessions' heart is in the right place. The problem is that the whole thing-from the script to the direction and so on-is so poorly put together that it fails in nearly all accounts. It's best that you skip this one. I wish I had another clown joke to make, but alas.

I found this movie in the bargain bin at a local movie store and decided to give it a whirl. It's a pretty average independent film with a couple of good things about it. It's gotten a lot of flack from users on this site and don't think it's quite as bad as they've all been saying. Yes, it's pretty bad, but I was thoroughly entertained through most of the film and may even keep it in my collection.The acting is a miserable waste. That's really all you can say about it. I thought the story was interesting enough and kept me entertained. Let's get to the gore. I thought the gore in this movie was fantastic! It's always nice to see a modern movie that uses actual special effects and not CGI. It felt like a throw back to 70's and 80's gore. I liked the movie but didn't love it.I really don't know whether to recommend this one or not. It's pretty poorly done but has some good points. I guess just see it for yourself and decide that way.

Generally I have a tolerance for bad films. But I was fast forwarding pretty quickly through this one. Plot: 50 year old zombie clowns come back from an underwater grave after a storm.The Good:1. I felt like I was in a storm. 2. Special effects are impressive. 3.The calliope was actually creepyThe Unforgivably Bad:1. Acting was bad even judged by it's peers. A Speak-And-Spell would have delivered more convincing inflections in the dialog. 2. The pacing of this stormy film was like water torture. 3. There was no characterization, I felt more sorry for the clowns than the people. 4.This film was ever made. I would highly recommend you go outside and take a walk. It's beneficial for you and staring at the pacing pavement is a more fun way to spend your 90+ minutes. I just don't see any merit in watching this film.