Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist (2004)

I love this movie so much

One of my all time favorites.

Good movie but grossly overrated

Fresh and Exciting

Do not buy this film. Don't even watch this film unless you want to be bored to death. And most importantly - DO NOT LET THE TITLE FOOL YOU!!! This "film" has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus raping anyone, so all you exploit fans that got boners after hearin' the title of this one might as well just tuck your dicks back in your pants. Here's what Jesus Christ: SERIAL RAPIST is REALLY like:Some jackass (that I think is the director of this mess) has a soft-core "rape" scene, where the "victim" involved looks so utterly bored that it looks like she would have been more disturbed by watching paint dry. Some text pops up every now and then explaining the "plot" (which has nothing to do at all with anything portrayed in the film..) about a "schizo" who thinks he's Jesus and decides to videotape naked women for no apparent reason and send the tape to the cops...right. Then we're treated to a bunch of soft-core nudie stills - for like forty-five minutes - and all of this is set to some extremely dull and drony goth-metal soundtrack. There is no dialogue, no "acting", no nothing...The ONLY reason this "film" doesn't get an absolute ZERO rating from me, is because I'm feeling generous and giving it one point because there is a good bit of full-frontal nudity from some hot women (though it's all in the still-shots), and another point because in some of the stills there is some well-executed shibari-bondage pictures - and I'm a sucker for Japanese rope bondage. But BELIEVE ME - YOU will be the real sucker if you actually buy this crap. Mr. Zebub is now 2-for-2 in the let-down department after suffering through his almost equally disappointing RAPE IS A CIRCLE - the only good side to that one is that it at least had some semblance of a plot, but was still dull and un-shocking. It seems that the only thing Zebub is good at is masking garbage films with interesting titles. I suggest you look up the titles of his films, imagine your own plot, and I guarantee that whatever you thought of will be better than anything shown in his work. Do yourself the best favor you've done in your life - SKIP THIS!!!...2/10

First off, there's at least two different movies by the same director with this title. This listing, the 2004 one, had a gaudy orange and black cover with a woman wearing white lingerie with her arms outstretched and a red ball gag, and some small stills from the movie.The remake (or whatever one might call it) is the one available on Amazon.com (!) with a nice painting of a woman bearing a cross on her back through a middle-eastern-looking setting.The first movie has about three scenes of a man having sex with or BDSM activities with women. One was on a sofa, another in a bathroom I think, and another I don't remember. Title cards explain he's a schizophrenic who thinks he's Jesus persecuting his enemies, or something like that. You wouldn't have guessed from the movie itself.Then a title card explains that he sent something to the media, which is followed by stills of women crucified, which takes up a lot more running time of the movie than you'd think.This movie really can't be recommended, but the remake might (?) be better.

I'll just repeat my Amazon review to save you a few dollars.Okay, for starters if you're a fan of sexploitation sleaze, you just about have to buy a film named like this, don't you? I mean, you know there are going to be some problems just from the box cover, a drawing (from a website advertised in the flick) of a naked young girl in a middle-east like scene carrying a cross with whipmarks on her bum. Uh, okay, but that can't possibly have anything to do with the film, eh? Another problem might be that it supposedly won the "Tales of Woe" film festival, which so far as I can find doesn't exist.Well, nevermind, like I said, someone has to buy this and review it solely due to the title, even though there's a strong possibility that it could be some student art flick with the title pasted on later . . . which of course it is. In fact the disk doesn't even bother to disguise the fact that the real name of this wreck is "Into Thy Hands". Apparently they couldn't even bother to edit the video to match the box. After some more drawings, with more in the so-called "bonus feature", the embarrassment begins, which is basically an ultra short and ultra cheap semi-slasher flick with no pay offs. The continuity is laughable, like when the bearded killer wastes 30 seconds getting a rope unsnarled while the camera runs.There is some nudity and some sleaze scenes that might have been half decent if they weren't filmed in slow motion with no sound. Oh, did I forget? There's a sludgy background music track but no actual sound recording at all. R-rated bondage gets practically no respect at all these days, what with it plastered all over usenet and the web, so that nets this mess the minimum one star. For joke collectors only.