Destroyer (1988)

The Age of Commercialism

How sad is this?

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

True to its essence, the characters remain on the same line and manage to entertain the viewer, each highlighting their own distinctive qualities or touches.

"Destroyer" is a mildly entertaining, routinely written B horror picture that's not without its pleasures. As it opens, a serial murderer named Ivan Moser (football great Lyle Alzado) is about to be executed for his crimes. However, just as he's being electrocuted, a prison riot erupts, resulting in the deaths of several guards and many inmates (not that we ever get to see this). Since Mosers' body is never found, he becomes a legend, and 18 months later the filmmakers behind an exploitation picture are using his old prison as a shooting location. Malone (the always lovely and always adorable Deborah Foreman) is a stuntwoman on the show, who's involved with screenwriter Harris (Clayton Rohner), and Robert Edwards (Anthony Perkins) is the sarcastic director of this movie-within-the-movie. Wouldn't you know it: people start getting killed in brutal ways.The only real inspired touch lies in the casting of massive NFL lineman Alzado, and it does look like he's having a good time playing a psycho. "Destroyer" only really comes to life when he's on screen, and some viewers may feel that he isn't on screen enough. Of course, Foreman (re-united with Rohner after 1986s' "April Fools' Day") is always great value, as is Perkins, who is able to play his part with a decent amount of wit. Other than our four principals, the supporting cast is comprised of mostly nondescript no-names. Some of you out there might be amused by comedy relief character "Rewire" (actor / writer Jim Turner, 'Arli$$'), but this viewer simply found him annoying. At the very least, this movie has just enough action, just enough gore, and just enough atmosphere to make it reasonable but forgettable entertainment. Alzado, Foreman, and Perkins boost the rating by a point.Six out of 10.

For some reason every slasher from the late 80s has to have a quirky, wise-cracking killer, even though a mindless killing machine is usually a whole lot scarier. Our Freddie Krueger rip-off du jour (played by steroid-enhanced NFL star Lyle Alzado) ends every sentence with "bitch", laughs maniacally at his own non-jokes ("I just want to talk you...hahahahaha", did he forget the punchline?) and worst of all is on screen far too long. That whole trope with the villain trying to be funny works when there's actually some decent writing involved and the finale doesn't last forever ("Scream" would be an obvious example of doing it right). In this one the killer plays cat and mouse with the final girl for almost half an hour, the pacing of this movie is very weird. You have a very slow build-up, a somehow even slower third act, and somewhere in between everybody dies (mostly off-screen at that) in a span of ten minutes or so. There's one scene though that almost redeems the film, not too surprisingly it's the one scene that has an on-screen kill. It's the only scene that really warrants the coveted so bad it's good label, and I was hoping to see more of that. Unfortunately, the rest is just stale and generic.

Destroyer is a prime piece of forgettable 80's horror schlock. Lyle Alzado (YES!) stars as a brutal inmate who somehow survives his execution, Shocker style, and mysteriously disappears. Soon after, the prison closes and a while later, the place becomes the shooting location for a women-in-prison (WIP) film, directed by none other than a lively Anthony Perkins. (Yes, they do shoot a shower scene.) Of course, slasher horror hilarity ensues. Yeah, I knew what I was getting into…the cover shows a buff, gleaming Alzado holding a big jackhammer with a mounted scope! Memorable line: "Could you hang on a second, Officer Callahan? I gotta peepee."

Lyle Alzado is...The Destroyer. The box to this movie claims it to be an action/thriller. Nope, it's a slasher flick. It's also an April Fool's Day reunion for Clayton Rohner and Debra Foreman. The late, great NFL monster Alzado is a psychotic rapist and murderer who is executed minutes before a prison riot breaks out. After the riots are over, the prison is forced to close and Alzado's body is never found. Years later, Foreman, Rohner (sporting one of his famous haircuts), and Anthony "Psycho" Perkins are filmmakers shooting a movie in the famed prison. It all makes for an odd little slasher entry. I wouldn't say Destroyer's great, but it does have its moments of hilarity. It's just fun to watch Alzado go to work on people with an over-sized jackhammer...or to hear Perkins say the words "shower scene."