Drive-In Massacre (1976)

Pretty Good

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

It's an amazing and heartbreaking story.

A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

****SPOILERS*** Bloodless slasher movie about this drive-in movie theater that's been targeted by some psycho who seems to dislike the films that its playing. Stalking the lot and looking for action the killer ends up killing some half dozen costumers, couples necking, before the police decide to have it closed down before any more people end up getting killed. It's Det. Mike Leary & police psychologist Steve Vincent who try to track down the killer with very little results in that they seem to be the only police assigned to this high profile murder case. One of the craziest scenes in the movie is when both Leary & Vincent have it out with this escaped or just pardoned lunatic accused of murdering his parents who's intended victim, his teen age daughter, after being rescued refuses to press charges against him! It's the drive-in manager Yule Brenner look-alike Austin Johnson who soon becomes the #1 suspect in this string of drive-in murders just because he used to be a knife thrower in the circus before he got the job there. Johnson for his part has it in for the night watchman at the drive-in Germy in him, besides wanting to get paid, once being a much better knife thrower as well as swallower then he ever was. ****SPOILERS***In the final sequence were made to see that both Leary & Vincent finally got their man only for it to be so confusing that you didn't even know if the film ended or not until you saw the closing credits. One of the hardest movies to watch in that the lighting in it was so utterly dismal that you strained your eyes & brain in trying to watch or follow it. As for John F. Goff & Douglas Gudbye as cops Leary & Vincent they in fact did a commendable job in trying to be convincing, by not cracking up, but it without out a doubt was the torturous and painful acting of Robert E. Pearson as the thankless drive-in manager Austin Johnson who won the acting honors by showing, like those of us watching, how he felt about the movie and being in it like it was more of a prison sentence then an acting role for him.

Drive In Massacre is the tale of a police investigation into a series of slayings taking place at a local Drive-In theater. Although this film may be billed as a horror film, I'd say this is more of a crime film, as about 3/4ths of the movie is focused on the police investigation. There are a couple of gory scenes, especially the first two killings, but the movie is rather tame overall.The two cops (played by John Goff and Bruce Kimball) stumble through the investigation to the point where you wonder whether or not these guys could catch a cold, much less a mass murderer. The main suspects are a pair of employees at the theater, the manager (Newton Naushaus), who hates, well everything, and a janitor named Germy (Douglas Gudbye), a dim former sword swallower who is pleasant enough, but seems a little off. With the possible exception of Gudbye, the acting in this film is either phoned-in, or in the case of Naushaus, way too over the top.The sound is horrible, as there are many points where you can't make out the dialog, and the soundtrack is subpar at best, as some of the songs sound as if it were composed with a Casio keyboard. There's a couple of scenes in this movie that have hardly any connection to the plot and seemed to be tacked on just to fill out the movie. The ending is different, at least, but I wouldn't say it was very good either.Overall, if you're a fan of 'So Bad It's Good' movies, then Drive-In Massacre could provide a few laughs. If you're a fan of horror movies, well I'd recommend you stay away from this one.

Do you like movies about questioning two losers? How about a couple of fatass cops sleepwalking their way through a film? What about endings that confirm the last 74 minutes of your life were totally wasted? Well then you'll love "Drive-In Massacre". Someone is murdering patrons of a Los Angeles drive-in with a sword. That's it. Yet this movie treats you to the minutiae of police work including extended questioning scenes of functional retard Germy and creep Orville who just wants to "beat his meat". Sound like a blast so far? Well hang on to your hats as Det. Mike and Det. John also talk to the world's biggest azzhole drive-in manager Austin Johnson who hates, and I mean HATES, everyone. The plot stumbles in circles like a drunk on a tilt-a-whirl with one meaningless scene after the other. This movie becomes fixated on the most mundane nonsense like a stupid argument between a philanderer and his girlfriend that wears a curly wig or questioning (again?) Germy at the "police station" with both the detectives desks next to each other like a couple of grade schoolers. Stu Segall hyper-focuses on these scenes like he's filming the return of Christ. Another major complaint is the various evening shots are so dark you might as well close your eyes and imagine whatever you want. I pretended that I was watching a better movie. Partially written by George "Buck" Flower who appears late in the movie as a machete wielding nut that bears no connection to the plot. He just sorta pops in to fill up running time like a carnival scene with Germy recollecting what the detectives have said to him. Woo hoo! Buck and John Goff (billed as Jake Barnes because he was probably embarrassed) worked together in Bill Rebane's "The Alpha Incident" which looks like "Raiders of the Lost Ark" compared to this crap. Mr. Flower even manages to cast his daughter Verkina in the crucial role of girl in warehouse somehow getting billing over Newton Naushaus who has far more screen time as the prick drive-in manager. This is the fiftieth and last movie in the "Chilling Classics" collection and boy did this thing end like it began. Appallingly awful waste of time.

A psychopath is slicing the heads off of victims in cars with a sword at a local drive-in and it's up to Detectives Larry and Mike(Bruce Kimball and Steve Vincent)to find out who it is. The drive-in theater was once a carnival and many of those who worked in it are employed. It could very well be the incredibly cranky, ornery, and all-around rude theater manager, Austin Johnson(Newton Naushaus)whose foul attitude stinks something rotten;once the barker, he has been left to take care of the entire business while his former employer sold the farm and ran off to Hawaii or some place. Another suspect is the "half-wit" janitor, Germy(Douglas Gudbye)who is an admitted former sword swallower, but seems too mild-mannered and simple-minded to be a killer. The main suspect is Orville(Norman Sherlock), a creepy peeping tom, spotted by Germy hanging around cars, spying on certain couples making out. The detectives attempt woefully to solve the case but their methods are a bit suspect(..why would you associate yourself with Germy, a possible suspect, no matter how nice and hospitable he might be?)..I mean two victims are killed in cars not feet from where they were staking out! The major problem established by a host of other users is the languid pace of the entire film. Some interrogation sequences are stretched too long and we witness the uncomfortable cast languishing with rather dire material. I did find the foul character of Johnson rather amusing in how he describes everyone he comes in contact with..never a kind word for anyone, he's quite the misanthrope. Johnson is the kind of character you yearn to see get stabbed in the throat with a sword. I also enjoyed the opening beheading..but director Seagall doesn't quite match this with the subsequent killings(..one victim's head falls off and a couple is skewered by the dreaded sword while hugging). There's a bizarre red herring set-up featuring the great Buck Flower chasing after a female victim(..actually played by his real daughter Verkina!) inside a warehouse with a machete(..he's considered a suspect, but anyone in their right mind knows that the film will ultimately end at the drive-in). The truly horrible climax at the end punctuates a rather ineptly made film..attempting to leave open the killer's identity, it only has you scratching your head. A plausible climax determining who between two obvious suspects might in fact be the real killer would've at least provided a satisfying conclusion to a rather poorly conceived horror film. The really oddball sequence where Larry and Mike are questioning Orville in his home(..with nude posters of models pinned all over his living room walls)really has to be seen to be believed..seeing Orville squirming and wallowing in misery over his sexual appetites(..he even admits out loud to "beating his meat" while at the drive-in, completely overwhelmed in embarrassment!)while the detectives appear quite appalled. A film like Drive-in Massacre only proved that in the 70's almost anyone could make a movie.