The Terminators (2009)

hyped garbage

Absolutely the worst movie.

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

After just reading the plot of this movie, I was skeptical about it. But, hey, who am I to criticize a movie based on its description? Besides, the very handsome Jeremy London is in it. Kurt Ross tells Bronson ti put out his cigarette because the T.R.s can track the temperature change. If they can track the heat of a cigarette, why not just track the heat that is emitted by a human? The T.R.s are seen walking past live humans a few times. If you like to laugh at how bad a movie is or want to be able to compare a good movie and a bad movie, then this movie is not a waste of time, it is an education. The only good thing about this movie is the laughs one gets reading the reviews on IMDb.

I don't put Terminators in the worst 5 Asylum movies(Titanic II, Alien Origin, 2010:Moby Dick, AVH:Alien vs Hunter and Transmorphers), but it is down there with the worst. I am not going to cite it as a rip-off of the Terminator movies, though it is derivative in a way to them, because James Cameron is not among the most original of directors or writers in the first place. Rip-off or not, Terminators is still a terrible movie on every level. The editing is really haphazard that it is difficult to see what is going on at some points, while the effects are overused and very crudely done. The soundtrack is often overbearing and at the end of the day forgettable. The script is stilted and cheesy, often having an aimless quality to it also, while the characters are annoying, the physics is so off the charts that your head is constantly screaming "No, No, NO!" and the story is not only formulaic but also has no momentum whatsoever. The acting is awful too, Jeremy London especially looks lost. So overall, interminably terrible. 1/10 Bethany Cox

The Terminators (2009) * 1/2 (out of 4) With a title clearly ripping off another more popular film then you know it must be from The Asylum. A government experiment in the form of a cyborg breaks free and heads to Earth where it starts to do major damage on a small town. Across the world more cyborgs are taking out major cities but for some reason this one wants to remain in this small redneck town and fight off a group of people (led by Jeremy London). You have to give The Asylum credit for having no shame and ripping off whatever they wanted just to try and trick people into renting their films. I remember working in a video store when I was young and these type of movies would come out (back then it was actors with famous names trying to pass off as the famous star) and countless people would rent them thinking they were getting the real thing. I'm sure The Asylum has had some sales from people who simply didn't know better. Me, on the other hand, enjoy bad movies so I keep checking out some of their titles and I must say that I think the majority of them would work at 45-minutes but at 90-minutes there's just not enough to keep them fully entertaining. I say that because I love bad movies and films such as this one are extremely bad and there are moments here that were so cheesy that I couldn't help but be slightly entertained. There are several scenes with the main cyborg running around killing people in ways that just made me laugh. Not only are the visuals of the deaths very funny but so are the hilariously bad sound effects that have been added. My favorite ones are probably the neck breaking stuff as well as the moans that are heard from the cyborg. The story itself never makes any sense but I'll overlook that considering the studio and what they were going for. The performances really aren't all that memorable but they're much better than this type of material deserves. That includes London who is clearly just picking up a paycheck but at least we get a familiar face. The special effects are all extremely poor and especially all the stuff with the spaceships. Clearly, the only ones who should be suckered into THE TERMINATORS are those who enjoy really bad movies. Back in the 70s this type of thing would be the fourth bill at a dusk till dawn drive-in. Today they appear straight-to-DVD and The Asylum are the kings of that.

...of course, that's not saying much. The celebrated/hated "mockbuster" studio strikes again with "The Terminators," their least subtle ripoff yet. If the title doesn't make it totally obvious to you, this is a Z-grade "Terminator" wanna-be, with a few bits stolen from "Battlestar Galactica" thrown in for good measure.The story: sometime in the near future, mankind has developed a lifelike android called a "TR-4," which is designed to perform menial labor and odd jobs for us. The robots are all controlled from a central power source in a satellite that orbits earth. For an unexplained reason, one day the TR-4's (all of which look like Paul Logan of "Mega Piranha" fame) suddenly rise up and begin destroying our cities and killing every human they can get their mechanical hands on. I have to say that the opening scenes here are actually pretty good (by Asylum standards anyway); there's some cool bone-crushing TR-on-human carnage/splatter and even some halfway decent outer space special effects.After the whiz-bang opening, though, things quickly devolve into the standard Asylum formula, i.e. a lot of bad actors playing unlikable characters who endlessly bicker with one another as they travel through a continuing series of cheap looking set pieces. Occasionally a TR-4 pops up and picks somebody off, everybody screams and runs away, repeat as necessary. The only "name" actors in this flick are Jeremy London (of "Party of Five" fame) and A. Martinez (of "L.A. Law," many moons ago), as a scientist who works for the robot manufacturing company and a small town sheriff, respectively. My favorite character was "Chloe," an cute-as-hell brunette who looks good even when she's running through tunnels covered in dirt and splatters of fake blood. The idea is that this band of plucky survivors need to steal a space ship and get to the satellite that controls the TR's, so they can shut down their power source and de-activate them. Said satellite (which appears to be made entirely of recycled sets from previous Asylum films) is filled with its own set of threats of course (of course there'll be an exo-skeleton, this is a "Terminator" ripoff after all!) and the biggest hoot for me was when they finally found the control panel for the TR-4's, and it was merely a big "ON/OFF" switch. I will not reveal here whether or not our plucky survivors manage to defeat the Big Robot Threat, but you can probably figure it out without my help."The Terminators" is the kind of movie you watch on SyFy Channel at 1 in the morning, i.e. when your expectations are extremely lowered. Occasionally it approaches competence, but the six-pack budget quickly brings it back down to earth. Not the worst Asylum film I've seen but far from the best. Let's hope that these Terminators will not be back!!!