Saltwater (2012)

Very very predictable, including the post credit scene !!!

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

One of the film's great tricks is that, for a time, you think it will go down a rabbit hole of unrealistic glorification.

As has already been said, this is one movie that just should not be watched...for any reason (including and ESPECIALLY those who had the bad decision-making skills to participate in it). There is just nothing remotely original or redeeming about this movie at all. The dialogue is beyond cliché' and contrived, the entire premise is is as bland as a fossilized ritz cracker found behind a sofa, and in the digital age, one should at be able to count on a filmography at least as good as a video uploaded by housewife on youtube (no such luck here). From the very beginning, none of the characters come off as remotely believable or likable, so there is just no reason to be vested in this train-wreck. Yes, bury all copies of this deep at sea under fathoms and fathoms of saltwater to save humanity the trouble.

This may be the worst gay-themed movie of that year and of the century. Acting is really bad, like amateur-teenage-high school-production bad. There is no spark between the main couple and one of the actors can express nothing with his face, you would not know if he is happy, sad or angry if you did not have audio on. I can't believe he is still getting acting jobs. The rest of them are not far behind though. Story is so predictable, simple and of such a low quality that it hurts. The characters are shallow and badly created. You can't see anything apart from some random people that try to create a dramatic story and ends up being embarrassing. The script... for God's sake, so unnatural, unrealistic and bad delivered!

This may be the worst gay-themed movie ever made - which is saying a lot. I usually try to give lgbt movies a little leeway, because they often are small budget affairs. But this movie was unbearable. I gave up just short of 15 minutes in because I couldn't take it any more. The actors are fair, at best, but the characters are terrible, stereotypical and annoying. The writer and/or director didn't take the time to make the characters likable and important to us before they showed us the negative and unlikeable side of the characters. When the two leads started to argue, the dialogue was so bad and the delivery so poor, that I had to bail. the director and writer are so in your face and beating you over the head with their message, that they didn't take any time to develop the characters and build to their point. This is the first time I haven't been able to finish watching a gay-themed movie. sad.

I'm pretty sure the whole movie could have been cut down to 30 minutes, maybe less. At the risk of spoiling the movie, not even saltwater can fix this movie. I'd recommend taking a stimulant before you watch this because otherwise you'll find yourself asleep in no time. I had hope for the movie because it started off with a playful dialog and almost genuine attraction between the two main characters. But that quickly spiraled into the same basic scene over and over again. It was like watching Groundhog Day, but with worse acting. I've never seen any of the actors in this movie, and now I know why. And the tall almost "giant-looking" Australian? No, no, and no. Either there's something wrong with him or he was smirking throughout the entire movie. Not a good look in a movie that deals with a very real and tragic thing like suicide.