Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens (1964)

It is a performances centric movie

I gave it a 7.5 out of 10

The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one

Omar (Gordon Mitchell) intends to be the winner of a tournament to the death between the 8 leaders of the desert tribes. His most despised opponent is Sinbad (Dan Harrison, dubbed 'Alibaba' in the English version). Sinbad is in love with the beautiful princess Fatima (Bella Cortez), and when they both fall into the hands of Omar, he promises to Sinbad: "You are going to die a slow and agonizing death in personal combat, and Fatima is going to watch you die!" However, that has to wait until the tournament, and a lot could happen until then...For a cheap oriental adventure, typical genre work of a little known director (Emimmo Salvi), this is surprisingly watchable. Surely the English version suffers a bit from the cuts, the Italian version was more than 10 minutes longer. But the camera work makes the fight scenes or the horse-cart race at the tournament look pretty good and Gordon Mitchell has a menacing, strong presence (he worked with the same director again in '3 Bullets For Ringo'). Nothing special, but acceptable.

I'm not sure that strictly speaking this movie is classifiable as a peplum. Peplum films are often characterized as Italian action movies that take place in ancient times and star Hercules, a Son of Hercules or one of many Hercu-surrogates. Feisty midgets sidekicks are not uncommon and there is usually at least one veil dance. The leading man in this film, while definitely a hero, is of non-Herculean stature. The movie also seems to take place in Medieval Middle East. However the movie does bear many similarities to the classic peplum including: 1. Gorgeous heaving Mediterranean women who majored in Veil Dancing in B-Movie finishing school, 2. The hero is a man of the people who delivers the masses from the rule of an oppressive tyrant, 3. If you try to follow the plot literally you'll end up in a straightjacket or with your head in a gas oven. Better to just flow along like a twig on the shoulders of a mighty river and enjoy the ride. For these reasons I am awarding this movie Honorary Peplum Status.Piecing together the plot from scraps of intelligible dialogue was like deciphering the Rosetta stone, only much, much more difficult. I think it shakes out like this: An evil dude named Omar wants to win the Golden Throne of the Maji, which would give him total power over whatever country this thing takes place in. You can tell he's evil because he is always whipping someone, slapping someone or laughing maniacally and because he walks around shirtless and aggressively flashing his beefy nipples at everyone. "Cower before Omar's mighty nipples!!!" is a line often heard through this film. In order to win the Throne he has to fight the kingdoms greatest warriors, the Seven Saracens, plus another warrior who has been chosen by the gods (Ali Baba). Since he is evil he imprisons Ali Baba and a smoking hot princess with the hope that somehow this will help him defeat the other Saracens during the Big Tournament and Harvest Ball.Ali isn't imprisoned long thanks to the intervention of Jookie the cunning dwarf (is there any other kind?). The most moving part of the film is when Jookie bids farewell to Ali, the only person to treat him like a friend, and the dwarf breaks down and cries. There's also a scene where a chubby guy in a turban dances on a tabletop for the rest of the prisoners who are clapping and laughing. I'm not sure what that scene was supposed to bring to the narrative, but it was disturbing enough to take your mind off the lonely, sobbing midget.Well no sooner is Ali Baba away from the influence of a more competent person, which could have been anyone really, then he winds up captured and right back in Omar's torture garden.Does he escape, win the throne, defeat Omar O'the Nipples and get the fabulous babe? Are you new? Of course he does, but I'll let this little flower of a film unveil its final petals for you all by itself.The mass fight scenes are laughably terrible. The fencers seem more interested in not getting hit and then also in not hitting their opponent so you have a mob of burly guys in armor dancing gingerly around each other. In a few scenes I saw some of the extras appear to stop fighting and lean on their swords in order to catch their breath. But they were husky lads wearing heavy armor under a hot sun, so maybe they needed the break.Believe it or not, it's the acting that makes this movie.Not the acting of Bruno Piergentili who plays Ali Baba. He seems about as wooden and vaguely constipated as many peplum heroes, but who says the male lead in these movies has to be interesting? In this movie that's left to the supporting cast.Gordon Mitchell as Omar makes an excellent over the top villain. Seriously he was more than a match for most peplum heroes. He menacingly glowers like nobodies business and tears up every scene he's in. Gordon Mitchell is just a whole lot of fun to watch.Bella Cortez as Fatima, the bodacious babe, is the reason the word voluptuous was invented. She's why cavemen painted pouty lips on cave walls. Acting.....um.....yeah I think she does some acting.Franco Doria played Sharif, Omar's aide de camp. He's evil, manipulative, cool headed, aloof and intellectual. He what would happen if Dick Cheney and Mr. Spock had a baby and Franco plays him perfectly.Tony Di Mitri played Jookie the dwarf, who is the smartest and noblest character in the story. He's a likable guy.The best fight scene is when the Harem girls take on Omar's personal bodyguards. Those girls had A lot of repressed anger.Ali Baba is as cheesy as it gets, but it's earnest in a Lil' Rascals/Andy Hardy "Let's put on a show" kind of way. It's ill scripted, improbable and illogical, but it still wants you to have a good time. So I say, if you're in the mood for some dopey fun and a ridiculously hot Cuban actress, give this movie a shot.

Okay, I admit it – I enjoyed Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens much more than I should have. I realize it's not what you'd call a good movie, but I can't help myself – I had a blast watching the movie. Much of it for the wrong reasons, but still, I found it terribly entertaining. The plot – who cares? Suffice it to say that the evil Omar (Gordon Mitchell), Ali Baba, and other warrior types do battle to determine who will be King. In today's world, it would be the equivalent of selecting our leaders based on the outcome of the most recent UFC pay-per-view event. Anyway, one of the real highlights for me is Gordon Mitchell. I've never considered him much of an actor and, while this movie doesn't change that, I did get a kick out of his performance as Omar. First, I had no idea that Mitchell could chew scenery quite like that. His constant overacting is a real hoot. And the scene where he wears that ridiculous looking turban – classic! Add to that the weird facial expressions and Mitchell could have passed for Harpo Marx. Truly bizarre! Second, I loved the way that Mitchell (and really all the characters) shouts every line of dialogue. Whether it's something that deserves to be shouted like, "I shall smite thee", or something that doesn't like, "We're have ham for dinner", these people sound like they're constantly competing to be heard above a jet engine. Again, truly bizarre! Another highlight of Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens (and this one has nothing to do with Gordon Mitchell) was the women's prison or harem room or whatever you want to call it. Real tough going in there. It looked more like backstage at an Atlantic City beauty pageant. Would these women really have had access to sequined gowns and glittery eye-shadow? I could go on and on, but I'll end here. Honestly, I've barely scratched the surface. I haven't mentioned the dwarf named Jukki crawling through walls, the final battle scene complete with a lame chariot race, the ease Omar's men have in taking Ali Baba prisoner, the speed with which Ali Baba and Fatima (Bella Cortez - what a woman!) fall hopelessly in love with each other, the confusion over the film's title (Is it Ali Baba or Sinbad?), the whip carried by Omar's main squeeze Farida, or the ridiculous dance scene in the dungeon. Ali Baba and the Seven Saracens might not be for everyone, but I sure had fun with it.

in the version i saw, ali baba and the seven saracens, the actors did not so much "act" as they walked around and shouted lines in the ear of the person standing next to them --- lines such as "swine dog, if i ever see your face again i will kill you. now go away and fetch me my dinner" and "no, really, nothing is wrong. AAAAA!!! AAAA!!! no, its nothing. AAAA!!! AAA!!! AAA!!! i tell you its nothing. AAAA!!!"however it may not be the fault of the actors, considering the english dubbing is worse than any japanese horror flick.ali baba falls in love with a girl who saves his life. he soon gets captured (read: gets knocked out by getting hit in the head by a pole) which stalls his chances to overthrow omar, a clint eastwood type who broods a lot, yells a lot, and likes to walk around topless. off the the dungeon goes ali baba.meanwhile omar discovers that in order to become accepted by the magi and become faja (your guess is as good as mine) he must fight the saracens when "the moon blocks the light of the sun."before i continue i must mention the orchestration which seems to go by the rule "fill any silence with a horn and a cymbal" and on occasion you can actually hear the dialogue clearly.okay. while fatima, the girl ali baba loves, is taken to a dungeon over-seen by a shawl-encrusted nymph with a whip, ali baba befriends a midget who is impressed by ali's manliness. the midget, named "jookie", crawls through the air vents (!!!) and comes upon the dungeon where fatima is. he interrupts their conversation about eunichs (!!!) to tell them of an escape plan at midnight and by "midnight" he means "noon" since all the action takes place during the day. then comes the escape which leaves poor jookie tear-ridden.there is a swordfight. fatima leads ali baba behind a decorative pillar and kisses him. omar emerges and smacks a few people around while flashing his nipples at the camera. wow. this is in the first 45 minutes!as for rating the film i must say i was entertained quite a bit by the lack of talent all around. the ms3k value is high so watching with a group of people with that in mind might be a good idea.