Beretta's Island (1994)

Simply A Masterpiece

Good movie but grossly overrated

Good , But It Is Overrated By Some

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

An Interpol agent fights drug dealers in Europe and America. Berretta's Island is probably one of the most painful action movies that you will ever see in your life. The acting is bad, the jokes aren't funny, the action is lame, the plot is predictable and the whole thing is just a mess. Franco Columbu might have been great as a Future Terminator in the Original Terminator movie back in 1984 but in here he just isn't your typical action hero every time he starts talking is funny and even funnier when he actually sings the movie gets even more stupid when you see people chase threw the streets and nobody gives a crap even to look at them, people get shot and sometimes there is no goddamn blood or they never fired a goddamn gun in their lives like ever. The best thing about the film and the only scene where i laughed Arnold Schwarzenegger plays himself in the movie and even tho the film is meh he is just good as always. Wanna hear the funnier part? they put Arnold in the poster in a horrible photoshop yeah they actually tried to promote this dumb film as a Schwarzenegger Action Flick. Franco seems to have more chemistry with his best friend than the girl he wants to sleep with that by the end of the film we actually get to see her naked because why the hell not right? Skip this movie by any means necessary it comes out as a rapist, predictable crappy action film with shaky cam scenes and even more laughable dialogue and characters i give it a 4 out of 10. 4/10.

**SPOILERS** Somewhat ridicules movie staring world champion muscle man Franco Columbu playing the part of recently retired Interpol Agent Franco Armando aka Code name "Beretta". Franco's quiet and easy life of pumping up with his good friend and fellow muscle man Arnold Schwarzenegger, at the local World Gym, riding his Harley and dancing on the grape, by making his own and favorite wines, quickly comes to a sudden and unexpected end at the start of the film Beretta's Island. That's when Franco's informed, through the Interpol grape-vine, that Columbian drug dealers are setting up shop in his hometown of Ollolia Sardinia.Reinstated into Interpol and back in action Franco shoots down to Ollolai to put a stop to this threat to the people of Sardina who have never had a serious drug problem, like the US, before. The drug gang lead by the Nicolas Cage look-alike Johnny Carrea, Van Quattro, had already had a confrontation with Franco back in Las Vages where Interpol Agent, and Franco's partner, Tina, Audrey Brunner, was gunned down.Franco having a new, and far more attractive and busty, woman Interpol Agent Linda, Elizabeth Kaitan, to help him track down and capture Johnny Carrea's drug gang has him, more then once in the film, more interested in making it with her then capturing them! As for Johnny he's so neurotic and mentally unbalanced that by the time the movie is over he ends up wiping, in suspecting them of double-crossing him, out his entire gang before Franco has a chance to do it himself! As for the big and expensive drug-some 20 kilos of cocaine-stash Johnny has he leaves it practically out in the open for Franco and his friend on the island Barone, Ken Kenchevai, to easily find and destroy with just one a stick of dynamite. Leaving the millions of dollars worth of coke in his drug laboratory apartment with the door unlocked and no one guarding it Johnny had about as much concern for his expensive cargo as he would have for the Staten Island Fresh Kill garbage dump!Always finding an excuse to strip off his shirt to show off his bulging muscles Franco should have been an easy target for Johnny and his boys to put away. Yet with all the bullets directed at him the Carrea gang couldn't as much as nick Franco much less kill him. In fact the only time that Franco was actually hit,back in Las Vages, the bullet was stopped by Franco's concealed gun that he had strapped to his chest!As you would expect Agent Beretta-Franco's Interpol code name-had no trouble whatsoever taking out Johhny and his gang of coked up, they use it as well as sell it, drug pushers. We also got to see in the movie Franco ride horses as well as sing besides flexing his enormous muscles which after a while, with him doing it like every five minutes in the film, got a bit monotonous to say the least. The big bonus in the movie was at the very end, with the ending credits, where we at last, after waiting all that time, got to see the sexy Linda strip off her top as she and Franco, who still kept his trunks on, were seen happily swimming in the sun drenched Mediterranean Sea! After suffering through an hour and a half of chases explosions and shoot-outs It's was well worth the wait!

Very funny to watch "Beretta's Island" as kind of natural trash-film.It is like answer to Jess Franko's type of b-movie.Bodybuilders strikes back (!face to face!) to pushers.The very very very stupid strike!Action: unbelievably bad directed firing(shooting) scenes look even better than hand-to-hand fighting.Chasing scenes ridiculous.Saving beauties scenes incredibly stupid.Erotic scenes are very unerotic.The main luck of film is pretty landscapes and festival scenes.Don't miss:Arnold Schwarzenegger's joke at start of film and list of Franco Columbu's kin at the end. Special attraction: naked bosom.Almoust forgot - Franco can sing!

It's the worst movie I've ever seen. The action is so unclear, work of cameras is so poor, actors are so affected ... and this lamentable 5 minutes of Arnie on the screen. My advice from the bottom of my heart - don't watch it unless you like such a low class torture.