Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove (2005)

Best movie ever!

Absolutely the worst movie.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove isn't without its redeeming qualities. The strip scenes are amusing, Kristina Korn is easy on the eyes and likable and, although his character is made too much of a wimp at times, the talented Rhett Giles does give a decent performance. Unfortunately, that's the only praise I can give. It is a cheap-looking film, though I've seen cheaper, with dull lighting, very annoyingly slipshod photography and special effects that are so fake and lacking in any finesse or technical value. The music is obvious, unfitting and has nothing memorable. Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove also has some of the most sophomoric dialogue I've heard in recent memory, the story holds no surprises, as we have seen it all before and executed far better, has no atmosphere or nail-biting suspense and is eye-rollingly ridiculous at times too. Some of the scenes are clearly repetitive of others in the film, but clumsily disguised to not make it look so. There are no likable characters, again I don't mind stereotypes and clichés as long as they are written well and interestingly, which Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter's Cove failed to do. Jolly Roger is the one character you sort of root for, though Korn does decently with really bad material, the others are obnoxious in the worst sense. There are many killings, but they offer no genuine sense of horror, they're bloody but crude-looking and unoriginal and they are often very randomly placed. The acting is generally awful, Tom Nagel is bland while everybody else, especially in the scene where the Mayor talks to the kids about LeChuck, overacts to the point of utter embarrassment. Korn and Giles are the only two exceptions. All in all, not terrible or the worst movie ever, but it is a good idea to skip this one. 3/10 Bethany Cox

Jolly Roger has a body count of 17, which is a pretty high amount of deaths for a 80 minute horror movie. It has a few good actors, and a few bad ones. Some of it makes you laugh. Like, for example, the mayor gets her arm cut of and starts running at Roger with no weapon! Another, is he rips a man's arm of and beats him to death with it! He also has bullets and fire in his arm! It is a bloody film! I have wanted to see this for a year. We went to Holly wood video, and my heart nearly stopped when i saw the title! I love this film! I think i might buy it off of Amazon. com! Pretty decent film for a low budget horror film! I would recommend it to every buddy that likes horror films! Enjoy this masterpiece by Gary! (Gary is the director of the film) this on my wish list along with Shark Attack 2 (DVD) Jack frost 2 (DVD) and Blood Surf (VHS)!!!!!

This movie was so bad! The gore was pretty cheesy, the acting was terrible - every time someone was killed, we busted out laughing at how horrible it was! I agree with the other poster tho - the strip club scene was pretty amusing. However, it was a like a train-wreck, we couldn't stop watching it. I gave it a 4 only because we laughed and enjoyed ourselves making fun of it. The ending was pretty dorky and sort of set it up for another movie (god help us). The commentaries/making of were funny too - they spoke like they were making this million dollar blockbuster and talked about how great the special effects were (they weren't, trust me). Overall, a good movie to watch when you have nothing better to do and want to laugh at something campy.

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* A bunch of teens bring a pirate back to life. He's the Jolly Roger. The one thing that makes him very jolly is cutting off people's heads. He stalks his way through the town and kills any scurvy dog that was related to his mutinous crew. Heads fly off in all directions. Only the two star crossed lovers care enough to do some research on Jolly Roger to try to figure out a way to end his head chopping ways.I was pleased with "Jolly Roger". It may be the best undead pirate flick I've ever seen. They were not shy with the blood and guts. Heads rolled here. Heads rolled there. Sometimes, heads just popped straight up. Lots of heads in a dead man's chest. Jolly Roger even had time to check out a strip club. He was there to do some head chopping and some breast watching. Of course, Jolly Roger couldn't leave without getting a lap dance. A lap dance for the zombie pirate. That was a great B-movie moment. I applauded. It made me jolly too.