Fifty Shades Darker (2017)

Awesome Movie

A film of deceptively outspoken contemporary relevance, this is cinema at its most alert, alarming and alive.

Story: It's very simple but honestly that is fine.

The joyful confection is coated in a sparkly gloss, bright enough to gleam from the darkest, most cynical corners.

Fifty Shades Darker is really four movies in one. Four really bad movies: The Love Story: I think my sister has a plagiarism lawsuit against the film-makers. Course she was six at the time she came up with the story. She was playing with her dolls and she said that," her boyfriend was the best boyfriend in the world. And tonight, he is taking her to the ball and she will be the prettiest girl there. So, he bought her the bestest dress and real expensive jewelry. His old girlfriend showed up, but he said no, no, no, you go away. And he made her go away. The end." The Drama: Christian's old girlfriend was stalking Anna. Finally, she cornered her and pulled out a gun and was ready to shoot her. But then Christian walked in the door and the "drama" was over. The Survivor Story: Christian of course owns a helicopter and pilots it. He has engine trouble and apparently crashed it. It is such a national story that the News networks covered it live. Oh, Dear what happened to Christian is so important to the world, that everyone dropped everything. And yet, everyone in the audience had a problem caring in the slightest. Problem was we didn't see the plane crash or the aftermath. Then Christian walked in the door and the "drama" was over. The porno: Its easy to make a porno. The porn industry cranks out several thousand every year. And the porn producers have no clue how to make a movie. And yet every porn movie is better than this one. The two principles are reasonably attractive. They have no interest in each other and it shows. There is an effort at Bondage sex, but its sort of like a TV sit-com version of bondage sex, in that there is really no sex. They raise the issue of bondage sex and then avoid doing anything sexy. So there you have it. Four awful movies for the over-price of one. It could dominate the Razzie awards by taking four places in the worst picture category.

Also, looking forward to seeing the final chapter!

I tried. I started the movie, sat down comfortably and did not even go halfway through when I had to stop it and go watch and actual good movie. WHY? The source material was pretty terrible as well. However, casting was the worst. Zero chemistry.

I don't even know where to begin with this monstrosity. The script and plots are written and thrown together in such a way that it seems like someone read the book and tried to write down some of those events for the script. Then they expected that you must have also read the book also so it will make sense to you. Newsflash. This movie is so poorly written and thrown together you won't have the first clue. The events are so far fetched when they a thrown in there that you can't being to take them seriously. Let's start with Christian Grey himself. He's supposedly around 21 and a billionaire. Even without talking, he doesn't even begin to be oozing power or importance when he walks into a room. And 21? I don't think so. Then we have Anastasia who is very unattractive and plain. Yet her boss corners her because he is just wanting to have sex with her "so bad." If that wasn't enough they have the boss saying very cringy comments like, "I can make you *** better than your bf can." LOL It was like something from a bad porn. Then she goes home and Christian has him fired. That's the end of it. All within a span of a minute. No build up to the event and not acknowledgement when a solution was found. Very insignificant presentation. If the writers didn't care that much about the event why should we?Then this weird chic breaks into her apartment who is Christian's ex. Again this scene only lasts a minute. No importance no real point other than it's just another event thrown in to take up some time. This events supposedly take place same day. lol Not buying it. Then Christian's helicopter goes down. Suddenly they are at his apartment worried and it's already on the news. After 30 seconds they announce he has been found and he walks into the door. Again this entire scene of events is a minute or two a most. In between all this you have some cringy sex scenes and some of the worst acting I've ever seen. Please at least make sure the actors have chemistry before putting them to bed together. It's awful. And yes I've seen tons of B movies. Was the director even there during filming? Even Kim Basinger's acting was horrendous like they did it all in one quick take without knowing the lines beforehand. It's just a bunch of B- acting, no chemistry characters, and random, unbelievable, and pointless events thrown together. I guess the real point is supposed to be their awkward relationship, but there is no dialogue really to support that only some bad sex scenes. The last movie started with him claiming he didn't want a relationship and then suddenly in this one he's changed his mind overnight with no hints, no warning, no dialogue? I've just never in all of my life seen something so random and cringy