2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

When a movie has you begging for it to end not even half way through it's pure crap. We've all seen this movie and this characters millions of times, nothing new in it. Don't waste your time.

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

Don't blink or you'll miss the opening death scene entirely, in this quickly tiring shlockfest about a double-headed CG-shark chomps down on some chowderheads stranded near a small island, which they repeatedly claim is an atoll ( a coral formation, usually circular or ring- shaped ), despite the fact that it is clearly a small island ( a slab of land completely surrounded by water ).The first 30 minutes were fairly amusing, with plenty of good looking girls wearing as little as possible, and a couple of unintentional laughs at the bottom of the barrel effects, but the film played all its cards in the first 30 minutes, and spends the next hour repeating itself, after its topless lesbian kissing session. Carmen Electra turns up just to tan in front of the camera and for her ( oh so slight ) name value, her character could have been edited out completely and the film would be no different.The characters display some of the most moronic behaviour, even for an Asylum picture, that they almost deserve to be swallowed whole, and the effects go from being laughably bad, to mind-numbingly stupid, as the shark's size changes dramatically from one scene to the next. Apparently toward the latter stages of the film, it grows so large that it threatens to sink the island/ atoll, and these blockheads must pool together all of their room temperature IQs and figure how to stay alive, and kill this shark.

2-Headed Shark Attack (2012) - The Good, the Bad and the Dimensionally Challenged.Synopsis: A group of students on an extended field trip of some sort are attacked by a 2-headed killer shark. Stranded at sea and confined to a sinking atoll, they have to find a way to kill the shark.The Good: Obviously, I know what I am getting into when I watch a movie called "2-Headed Shark Attack" and that goes double for a movie of that name released by the infamous The Asylum production company. You are looking for camp value, nothing more. Still, there has to be a semblance of logic behind the script. What I was hoping to find was a silly romp mixed with a killer shark. What I found was some "it's so bad it's funny", but more of "it's so bad it's just bad". Honestly, there is very little reason to watch this movie. Sure, Brooke Hogan and Carmen Electra are in bikinis. Google it and save yourself 88 minutes. Honestly, I can think of a million actresses that I'd rather see in a bikini if that is what I was watching for... so it's not that aspect of it for me that is appealing. I'm looking for laughs (intentional and unintentional) and gore here. And if it's the campy "so bad it's funny" angle you are after like me, there is some of that. The problem is that it's more about how ridiculously the movie is pieced together and the logic of the characters versus bad acting and dialogue. Don't get me wrong, the acting and dialogue are atrocious, but it's more irritating than funny. There just isn't much about this movie that is good.The Bad: Well, the whole movie is bad, but I'll single out a few main reasons why. First, yes... the acting is really bad and the dialogue is even worse. Once you realize Brooke Hogan is the BEST actress in the movie you are watching, you know you're in trouble. That's not the worst thing though. As awful as the dialogue and acting is, the characters are worse. They are all so whiny and annoying and unlikeable. There isn't a single character to like except maybe the nerdy kid. They all hate each other and they say and do really stupid things for the entirety of the movie. Next, the editing is absolutely atrocious. I guess even from this piece of trash, I expected something better. They go from one scene where they are in waist-deep water and then the shark attacks and they are in 20 ft of water... then back and forth. The directors take the audience for fools. Maybe they just thought the movie was going to be so bad they didn't care. Who knows. All I know is that over and over, logic is thrown out the window. The writers constantly put the characters in stupid situations and use the weakest of plot devices to further a story that makes no sense. For example, the atoll (not island... atoll - this is made very clear... it's an atoll) is collapsing and they are all running down a path. Two girls veer off down another path away from the group. One of the couple that sees them says, "They are going the wrong way!" To which the guy replies, "It's too late for them! Let's go!" What!? How about just yell, "Hey, stop! We're all going this way, so come back!". Nope, that would be logical and not get the directors to the kill shot. So the girls run to the end of that path, which leads to a dock... where they stupidly walk out on and... yeah, get eaten. All those ridiculous plot devices lead to the shark killing someone. It happens over and over and over in this brain-dead movie. It's insufferable. The director takes us all for idiots time and time again. I get it... it's a low production movie, but that doesn't excuse massive lapses in logic. Lastly, I'll mention the effects... which are all done using very poor CGI. There are very few practical effects and it's just ridiculously bad. The CGI shots are detrimental to the continuity and made it impossible to edit this movie in any natural way.The Dimensionally Challenged: Okay, so by the end of the movie, I had one question left. Logically, the movie was a muddled masterpiece of disorganization... and I came to grips with that. What I couldn't figure out was how big the 2-headed shark actually was? One minute, people are getting attacked in waist deep water, the next they are saying they are safe because they are in shallow water. One minute, the shark is big enough to smash against and SINK an entire island - oh, forgive me... ATOLL - the next, he is small enough to swim onto the flooded atoll and fit inside a small hut. Sigh... What takes the cake is when one of the girls lights a t-shirt used as a wick leading to a gas can.... underwater. Yeah, I'll end this right here.

Two-Headed Shark attack was one of those movies that was exactly how I thought it would be.This group of scientists or something get stranded on a island when their boat breaks down. There they must find a way to escape and also must avoid being attacked by this huge two headed shark.The story is pretty typical for a syfy movie. Two-Headed shark appears and attacks. The CG for the shark is OK at best, but they do not really explain how the shark came into existence really well.The action scenes with the shark are good. Nothing that stands out.Another reason to see this movie is all the hot chicks in bikinis who get attacked by the shark. Overall the acting is pretty bad in this movie. Carmen Elektra I think does a pretty horrible job acting and only adds sex appeal (but not even that much of that). Brook Hogan I think did an average job acting, but that means by far she is the best actor in the whole film.So, the shark is OK, the acting is bad, and the story is predictable. I say see it if you like these bad shark movies, otherwise stay away.

While the opening credits roll, we are given a taste of the story as water boarders are consumed in a big "2-Headed Shark Attack". This mean monster has more than twice the appetite of your average shark. Our victims are college students out boating for a "semester at sea." They show of their tanned chests and ability to read lines with, apparently, little rehearsal time. "What's my motivation?" translates, "Take off your shirt, scream and get eaten by the two-headed shark, stupid!" The professor on this fateful voyage is Charlie O'Connell (as Franklin Babish). His companion is the deliciously proportioned Carmen Electra (as Anne)...The main purpose for this idiotic story is to showcase sexually attractive college students being attacked by a shark. Producers get this job done. This is an otherwise barely competent movie. The cast is attractive but do not show many acting skills. Top-billed Carmen Electra is given little to say, for which she should be thankful. The lead is Brooke Hogan, daughter of "wrestler" Hulk Hogan. She's afraid of water. The leading man is brainy David Gallegos (as Paul) and muscular Geoff Ward (as Cole) serves as a secondary villain. The shark attacks are so poorly done you have to hope producers install sobriety checkpoints at the "Asylum" studio.** 2-Headed Shark Attack (1/17/12) Christopher Ray ~ Brooke Hogan, Charlie O'Connell, Carmen Electra, David Gallegos