Cockneys vs Zombies (2013)

Fantastic!

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

What can I say? There are people on here rating this God awful film 10/10 who must think this kind of disposable fan-fiction dross is as good as A Clockwork Orange, Witness for the Prosecution, 12 Angry Men, The Godfather, Oldboy, & Shawshank Redemption. The writing of this is trivial, childish, & imitative. The people who wrote this shlock do not know what it is to contribute a new vision. Instead, they obviously smoked a lot of weed & amalgamated one liners from all the top 10 most typical British films they thought was funny. There isn't a single line of dialogue that doesn't make the British sound like retards. The visuals & sound are so bad that you'll be burying your head in your hand. The shots have NO geography, or correlation. The pace of the Editing is all over the place. It's like they glued everything that was filmed together, & cut nothing out. They are going for this music video style, but it just looks cheap & uninteresting. Nothing looks real. The sound is beyond disastrous. The Guns are quieter than the engines, the layering of sound effects is intrusive, where as the dialogue is passive. Probably because there's so much of it. They never.. ever.. shut up. Ever. The music is the offensively trite pseudo-orchestra stabs & crescendos we're all too sick of hearing on You Tube projects. It goes on & on & on, but it is never allowed to add mood or emotional content, because the dialogue is haha hehe funny. The effects is obviously where all the money went. But don't get excited. It's a hybrid cgi/in-cam mix, but there is never a moment where you think it looks real. Maybe there was a shortage of squibs? But the cgi bullet holes, gun sparks, & blood splatter was extremely distracting. Why are my PS4 Games more realistic than films now? The characters all curse like school kids which takes away the impact of such words. Their reactions are phoned in, the actors are clearly not invested, & all show as much emotion as the Zombies. As always, there are no Muslims, Orientals, Indians, Asians, Europeans, Scots/Irish/Welsh etc. Instead, you have 1 black guy acting like a White Millwall hooligan; the dumbest of the lot, but he gets killed off - much to the audience's relief. If you think it can't get any more cliché, think again. Because there is also a dark haired spinster with a black leather jacket & a "Girl-Power" strut. She acts out the vision of what the writer desires to be; tough, edgy, invincible, sexy, cool, & competent. I could go on, but I just want to forget this film asap. It has a 5.9 rating, which is generous. But I know that this shall fade away into obscurity along with all the other frivolous incompetent films of this nature. And trust me, it is the best thing that could happen to this film. I haven't seen anything as bad as this since A Million Ways to Die In The West [2014]. It's THAT bad.

Very modern zombie horror / comedy with a British twist is actually better than expected, and is in fact quite a bit of fun. It's often genuinely amusing, with an excellent cast playing the material for everything that it's worth. The veterans on hand are the most fun, and funniest; you wouldn't expect to see them in a movie of this kind, and "Cockneys vs Zombies" is all the better for it. Despite the plethora of digital gore - which is very much par for the course these days - there are some ingenious gags. Best of all, this movie does have a heart underneath all of the action and bloody violence.Rasmus Hardiker and Harry Treadaway play Terry and Andy, two young punks who plan a bank robbery so that they can save the retirement home where their grandfather (Alan Ford) and his associates live. But the plans of everybody in London go straight to Hell when some long forgotten tomb is unearthed, and legions of the living dead find plenty of sustenance on hand.The characters are often thoroughly engaging, even trigger happy weapons junkie Mental Mickey (Ashley Thomas). Our two leads are quite likable, and also endearing herself to the audience (or at least this viewer) is their cousin Katy (Michelle Ryan), who's very tough and adaptable. It comes as no surprise that she becomes a zombie fighter par excellence. Ford performs with gusto as the Granddad (just don't let him catch you calling him that). Honor Blackman is wonderful as his friend Peggy.This viewer wouldn't exactly call "Cockneys vs Zombies" a breath of fresh air in this overcrowded zombie sub genre, but it's so lively, well paced, and funny, that it overcomes very familiar plotting.A comic highlight: Hamish (Richard Briers), who uses a walker, attempting to out "run" pursuing zombies.Eight out of 10.

Only the Brits could come up with a title like Cockney's vs Zombies. Its down to earth, humour filled zombie killing fun with a British East End flavour. The story starts a little slowly and there are occasional lapses in the momentum but by and large, this film is very entertaining and well worth your time if you like the zombie genre. The acting is excellent with a very strong cast including some genuine British acting veterans.For those like me who grew up with British comedy The Good Life there is the last film appearance of wonderful actor Richard Briers (Tom Good) at his low profile, self effacing best. Eight out of ten from me.

Americans don't get irony? Sorry, Englanders - so much irony it comes out your arse in a watery rush. This is the anti-comedy. Badly written/directed/shot/edited. And it's drawn out, with zero scares and hahaha laughs. Plenty of good actors. They got Michelle Ryan, so there had to be a long, slow close up on her amazing face. No chance. Really was the weirdest day of her life. Everything else inferior, and comparison to the classic Shaun is stupid. The IMDb reviews for this are perverse. Or maybe they're recruiting for UKIP?