L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach (1998)

Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.

Why so much hype?

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

Don't Believe the Hype

A group of evil folks led by the nefarious Rodrigo Martinez (robustly essayed with lip-licking brio by Rodrigo Obregon) search for a hidden treasure trove on a remote Pacific island. It's up to a crack team of federal agents to stop them. Writer/director Andy Sidaris covers all the essential entertainingly silly'n'trashy bases one final time: abundant tasty gratuitous distaff nudity, huge splashy explosions, sizzling soft-core sex scenes, an amusing sense of self-mocking campy humor, maladroitly staged action set pieces (the karate fights in particular are hilariously inept), funky gadgets, a swinging "Goldfinger"-type theme song, and globe-trotting locations. Naturally, a bevy of beautiful babes are on hand to further heat things up: magnificently statuesque Amazonian goddess Julie Strain as brash leader Willow Black, busty blonde Julie K. Smith as the sassy Cobra (who works undercover as a stripper!), the insanely bosomy Shae Marks as Tiger, blonde bombshell Carrie Westcott as Rodrigo's foxy hench wench Sofia, Ava Cadell as sultry-voiced disc jockey Ava, and Carolyn Liu as the slinky Silk. The rest of the cast likewise have fun with the blithely inane material: Marcus Bagwell as reformed former baddie Warrior, Cristian Letelier as the amiable J. Tyler Wood, Paul Logan as the equally likable Doc Austin, and Gerald Okamura as ace martial artist Fu. Howard Wexler's glossy cinematography gives this picture an attractive bright look. Ron Di Iulio's lively score hits the stirring spot. A worthy closer to both Sidaris' cinematic career and this enjoyable series.

"Return to Savage Beach" inevitably draws comparisons with its predecessor, "Savage Beach" (1989), and these comparisons aren't favorable: for one thing, the exotic locations are captured with much less flair this time around, and for another, Shae Marks and Julie K. Smith are no Dona Speir and Hope Marie Carlton. With those two, you could almost forget that they were former Playboy Playmates and accept them as B-movie actresses; with these two, you can never do that (also, this film proves that there is such a thing as "too much silicon"). Everything here is recycled: the jokes, the weapons, the actors, even footage from "Savage Beach". Julie Strain looks bored, and Christian Letelier wins the "so bad it's funny" award for his line-reading. Carrie Westcott is marginally hotter than the other girls, due to the perpetual look of contempt on her face. You know something is wrong when a pro-wrestler (Marcus "Buff" Bagwell) actually does the most enjoyable acting in the movie! (*1/2)

Think about it - Jack Bauer plus Julie K. Smith? Are you kidding me? The other networks might as well just show a test pattern in that timeslot.Actually these movies are kind of entertaining if you think of it as the progeny of Russ Meyer making films for the post-cable generation. Not great art, not good art, not really even art, but certainly not the worst stuff in the world. As another review said, you can watch it with the sound turned up and the plot isn't any more BS than what you'd see on 24.Makes you miss the days of "Hard Ticket To Hawaii" and "Picasso Trigger". Better than two dustballs talking about their PSP.

It seems to me that the only reason you make a movie like this is to show nudity and gratuitous sex. If that's the case, why did this movie go 45 minutes without a sex scene? You're waiting for them, too. I sat there and was like, "Oh, OK, they're gonna get it on!... Well, maybe not." "YES! FINALLY!... Oh, wait, I guess not." They spend so much time teasing and hinting that you expect it every second, then quickly lose interest. And there are only two sex scenes in the entire movie. Both are dull. Perhaps it's wrong of me to be watching this for the sex scenes, but can you blame me? The movie couldn't possibly deliver on anything else.For the Bagwell fans out there, yeah, he's good. He also has a love scene. But don't be hoping for anything good. It's dull and they don't do much to each other. They tease you with hinting about sex scenes, and then when they finally hit you, they tease you DURING the sex scene.This movie suffers from schizophrenia. It wants to be Playboy, Red Shoe Diaries, and 007 rolled into one. You'd be much better off renting Playboy, Red Shoe, or 007 to fill your particular craving as this movie does NONE of the genres well. I'll say one final thing for this movie. It defies expectations. And again, no, NOT in a good way.