Galaxina (1980)

Don't listen to the negative reviews

Don't Believe the Hype

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

Don't believe any positive thing you've ever heard, read, or seen about this movie. This movie has not a single redeeming quality. Others have taken the time to write out a synopsis so I won't bother, but just think of the worst 1980 had to offer, formulaic sci-fi ripoff, cocaine-induced and you are exactly where the writers and producers were when this mess was hatched.Dorothy Stratten was no actress, and had it not been for her unfortunate demise and the subsequent pity party, she would be lost in obscurity. Don't get me wrong, she was extremely attractive and possibly even a nice person, but we see so little, and fortunately hear even less of her in her role that Galaxina is just a waste of time. Okay, the role of emotionless robot that eventually teaches itself to speak was perfect for her (you'll know right away what I'm talking about when she does finally speak), but good god man, she's a Playboy Playmate, why does she never even come close to taking her clothes off? Isn't it bad enough that she's really only in about 40% of the movie, but seriously, not even a topless shower scene or at least some side boob? I've seen less clothes on women in public in extremist middle eastern countries.I looked for this movie for many years and believe me I was quite let down when I finally watched it. It is actually one of the very few movies that I have actually trashed because it was taking up too much space.

Regarding my thoughts on "Galaxina", I can only concur with what my good pal BA_Harrison wrote. That poor, poor Dorothy Stratten! She became a lust object and Playmate of the Year at the tender age of 19, but what did she have to show for it? Two lousy movies and an affair with a sleazy director 20 years older than herself! Only one sole and turbulent year of success, between August 1979 and August 1980, tragically cost her life since she was barbarically murdered by her former husband/manager Paul Snider. This pathetic and otherwise completely forgettable little flick exploits her luscious female curves and cleverly camouflages her limited acting skills, since Stratten stars as a cyborg in a tight golden latex outfit. The film itself is a dire and non-humorous spoof of Sci-Fi milestones such as "Star Trek", "Alien", "2001: A Space Odyssey" and primarily of course "Star Wars". Writer/director William Sachs previously made "The Incredible Melting Man", which was supposed to be dead serious and petrifying but provoked hysterical laughter instead. With "Galaxina" he actually tries to be funny, but fails miserably. The plot is inexistent, the dialogs are dull and the gags are embarrassingly inept (and badly timed atop). Avery Schreiber does what he can to provide the film with a light-headed and cheerful atmosphere, but the script is just hopeless. "Galaxina" got released around the same time as Stratten's murder, and undoubtedly would have been long forgotten if she hadn't passed away. Imagine her poor parents' grief!

Galaxina (1980) 1/2 (out of 4) Cult sci-fi film about an outer space police squad who are sent on a mission to try and recover a crystal that could cause major harm if it falls into the wrong hands. GALAXINA is an incredibly bad spoof of the genre, which would have probably been forgotten by now had it not been released just a few months before the death of its star Dorothy Stratten. The star would be killed by her husband shortly after this movie was released and I'm sure its this curiosity, which got the film a few extra bucks at the box office and it's this that makes people check it out today. Sadly, it's a pretty horrible movie and if Stratten did have any talent she was certainly unable to show it here. Those checking this out to see her are going to be disappointed for a number of reasons but for the majority of the running time she's just sitting in a chair looking off into space. Whenever she's not doing this she's basically just got bad dialogue to say and those expecting to see any sexuality will really be disappointed. I'm not sure if I've ever seen a movie where a Playboy model was dressed in such unsexy clothes. Everything else in this film is pretty much horrible as the action scenes are lame, the special effects are a joke and there's really not a single interesting character to be found. The majority of the film is a spoof so we're given some unfunny jokes about Spock, a rip-off of the ALIEN tagline and even Kubrick's 2001 jets a joke aimed at it. The problem is that none of these jokes are funny and in fact they're just downright stupid to the point where you grow frustrated with the film. I really don't know what the filmmakers were trying to do with this thing. I've heard it's an early attempt at what Mel Brooks would do in SPACEBALLS but this thing here is just a complete waste of time. The only thing mildly interesting are some of the creatures but these aren't enough to make you sit through the film.

I saw this film on a pack of 50 films of alien invasion movies. This one did not really fit the bill, but a lot of them do not. This one at least has aliens in it, one of them did not even have that. This one seemed to be a spoof of the "Airplane variety, but while there were a couple of funny moments most of the comedy just did not work thanks to poor delivery. This is not even the casts fault, it was just poor jokes, bad timing and bad pacing.The story in this one focuses on the spaceship Infinity, basically a space police cruiser. The story seems off too, as if this was supposed to be the pilot of a television show or something in the way it played out. I figure this cannot be the case as there is a good deal of language and a topless lady. The police of this vessel are sent off to a faraway place to retrieve a stone with untold power. The place seems to have an old west feel, then they have to tackle a random biker gang and this film just does not feel like a true motion picture.The cast is not bad. I thought the captain of the ship did a relatively good job as did everyone. The jokes just did not work for the most part. Some of them did, which is why I gave this film a four, but at times jokes went on way to long. As did some scenes as the whole dude on a row machine went on forever and there was really no joke. The female is cute which aside from the occasional chuckle is about the only thing worth watching in this one.This film looks okay, the cast is okay, but for the most part none of the jokes are okay. To many swings and misses here to count. Most of the jokes were not funny or went on to long as did many of the scenes which pretty much doomed this wannabe spoof of space films. It is rather easy to watch mainly because even though for the most part it is not funny, it still was over quick.