Joysticks (1983)

It is a performances centric movie

The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

A powerful businessman starts a crusade aimed at shutting down the local video arcade. He's concerned about the effects the arcade is having on his daughter. The arcade's Manager, a nerdy employee, and a slovenly obese gamer will do battle to save their arcade. I remember seeing Joysticks in the 80s and "enjoying" it. I use quotes because I'm not sure I ever found it all that great, just a decent enough time killer. Re-watching last night, the movie doesn't hold up for me. I know that based on a lot of the schlock I watch, you might think a movie like Joysticks would be right up my alley. Unfortunately, it's got a world of problems that keep me from finding much in the way of entertainment. Chief among my issues with the movie is it's actually pretty boring. For a sub-90 minute film, this thing seems to go on and on. The drawn out video game contests, the community hearing scenes, and all the lame attempts at humor that completely miss their mark really put a drag on things. And I found the scene where the nerd and the fat guy end up in the lady's bedroom troubling and disturbing to watch. There's nothing funny at all about the idea of raping a semi-conscious woman. You might have been able to get by with this kind of thing in the more innocent 80s, but by today's standards, it doesn't fly. I generally enjoy Joe Don Baker, but not so much here. It's too obvious he's only in it of the paycheck. Instead, the lone highlight of the film for me is Jim Greenleaf as Dorfus. His fat dude shtick is occasionally laugh-out-loud funny.

I was only 18 when this movie came out and it remains the only movie I've ever walked out of, it was seriously that bad. I enjoyed the premise of the movie, arcade, young women, etc, but it was just so ridiculous I've never forgotten how bad it was, as I still say to this day that it was bar none, the worst movie ever.

In the '80s, the fat guy who is always eating was a staple of low-end comedies like this one. I can only assume that we are supposed to laugh at this: "Look, it's a fat guy! And he's eatin! Har-har!" I guess you have to hand it to the producers of "Joysticks" for adding the additional comedic twist of making their version of this stock character absolutely repulsive. His hair is so greasy it appears wet, his shirt, stretched over his massive gut, is as filthy as a dishrag. He eats cookies covered with tomato sauce.I could not stand to look at this character, and he is in almost every scene.Did I mention this is supposed to be a comedy?The plot: pretty boy runs a video arcade. Evil businessman played by Joe Don Baker, known for classics like "Charley Varrick" and "Walking Tall", wants to shut him down for reasons the movie seems to have forgotten to include. There is also a group of multi-coloured '80s punks, the Vidiots, that the pretty boy wants to kick out: thus the stage is set for not one but two video game tournaments, in which the players use massive joysticks, the knobs so large the players' hands rest upon them like they are crystal balls.There is, of course, also a "nerd" "character", such a stalwart of these movies that there is nothing to say about him except for his being in the movie.This movie really taxed me. There is no tension whatever to be had in watching people play Pac Man, or if there were, the filmmaker certainly has no idea how to show it, so those sequences are merely boring. The rest of the movie disgusted me more than anything else. There's a little nudity, of course, and the movie also supplies perhaps the most repulsive and unconvincing transvestite I have ever seen. The evil businessman has two moronic henchmen - don't they all - and in a movie this bad, someone has to dress up in drag, so it may as well be them.I was really glad it was over, and hopefully I'll forget about it as soon as possible.

Of all the juvenile attempts at a movie this has to be the worst. they tried so hard to be porky's with video games that it was funny--makes an excellent gag gift for the guy who loves video games though--they will sit through the entire thing just to get glimpses of classic games. If arcades were really like this in 1983, its no wonder the bottom fell out of the industry... The scene with the punks acting out a pacman game had me cringing in embarrassment for the actors. If it wasn't for Joe Don Baker and his illustrious career of movies (as witnessed on MST3k) this movie would be a total loss. But by all means find a copy of this movie somewhere and subject yourself to the torture--you know you've done something wrong and deserved to be punished at some point--now is the time to make ammends!