The Perfect Husband (2014)

Memorable, crazy movie

How sad is this?

It's not great by any means, but it's a pretty good movie that didn't leave me filled with regret for investing time in it.

Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

Inept attempt at psychological horror that fails to deliver on all fronts. It's so dull it doesn't even approach "so bad it's good" territory, which at least might have made it a passably entertaining watch. Co-writer and director Lucas Pavetto is probably Italian (I don't care enough to confirm this) -- the film was shot in Italy but doesn't seem to be set anywhere in particular. The dialogue sounds as if it was written by someone who's first language is not English, but that's the language the characters speak, with a bewildering array of accents. The most impressive thing about this film is that they didn't manage to cast even two people who sound like they might be from the same country, let alone the same region.Bret Roberts and Gabriella Wright, as a couple trying to rebuild their relationship after a miscarriage by having a weekend getaway at the proverbial cabin in the woods, look and act like two models on a camping trip photo shoot for an outdoor lifestyle catalog. I don't envy them having to get through the stilted dialogue, but neither are remotely compelling or believable, with Roberts in particular giving some pretty cringe-worthy line readings. That's a huge problem considering that much of the run time is devoted to them.Pavetto's idea of building tension consists of throwing in lots of distance shots that make it appear someone might be tracking a character, an annoying array of spooky music cues and sound effects, and the occasional attempt at jump scares. All of these things, when employed in service of a story that is genuinely building tension, could be effective -- here, they just serve to emphasize the degree to which nothing interesting is happening on screen. There's a twist ending most people will probably see coming a mile off, if anyone manages to make it that far.For a far superior, more suspenseful and psychologically penetrating look at a couple breaking down in the wilderness, check out "Backcountry."

So here I am, writing a review of this "masterpiece" . This is the first time I've ever reviewed a movie here and for good reason. Nothing has moved me enough, until now. The Perfect Husband truly is a masterpiece. A true masterpiece of awful, where I eventually believed that this movie was a comedy because of how absolutely terrible it was. I'll elaborate. The movie initially seems to have potential, albeit slow moving. Attractive couple with problems seek to solve said problems by heading out to the woods - classic horror movie plot. Except this is where the parallel to all the other "cabin in the woods" horror flicks ends. The actors are bad. From the moment you see them on screen, you hear that voice in the back of your head saying, "turn it off, save yourself" but you push on through. They can't act. They butcher the horribly written script worse than anyone is butchered in the film. The plot wears thin quickly and deteriorates to something a 10 year old would write. The cinematography, despite what other reviewers have stated, is dreadful. Painfully, the camera focuses on scenery and objects as if trying to be artistic and yet reminded me of someone with an phone taking a home movie. It was distracting to watch, but I was determined to finish this train wreck. Did I mention the acting was awful? The only reason I gave this movie 1 star (other than a minimum required) was for the sound and music which seemed appropriate and even decent throughout. Even the makeup was like something out of middle school drama class. Now, I know my review sounds harsh but it's deservedly so. Filmmakers, whether they're big shots from Hollywood or from sheep town Italy should have respect for potential viewers and prevent travesties like this one from ever being made. Here's a novel idea, screen your movie, write an original script and maybe hire someone who could act their way out of a paper bag. I know the cast of this movie couldn't. Being an Indy film with a low budget is no excuse for this movie. It makes Human Centipede 3 look like Gone With the Wind. I can taste bile. I've just thrown up in my mouth realizing that I'll never get these 90 minutes of my life back. Thanks for this masterpiece, a true masterpiece of awful. 1\10...Do not ever watch this junk!

Watched it last night and just loved it...Well done. I felt that the movie was reminiscent of the works of Alexandre Aja. The gratuitous blood and gore of most movies of today was replaced by suspense and off camera incidence and handled very well. As an avid movie watcher I can usually catch the direction a story is going in by at least 1/3 the way in. Not so with this one. Where most stories have a twist at the end, I found this ending to be more of a corkscrew. The photography is excellent and the production design looks remarkable. Good acting by all the actors involved (bret roberts,gabriella wright). This is, in my opinion, a must see for even the average movie watcher. Nothing is as it seems... A great experience of madness with a good final twistA well made indie movie. I had not heard of it

A married man and woman visit a cabin in the woods (!) apparently about halfway between the US, Europe, and Australia (!) without cell phone reception (!) to recover from the woman's recent stillbirth (!). They talk slowly for about forty-five minutes. Then the man gets out some handcuffs and gets all torturey and rapey.OR DOES HE?!?!? Cymbal crash.Horror film-makers have faced accusations of misogyny for decades, accusations that are sometimes poorly justified, and they have generally acted very reasonably in response. The makers of The Perfect Husband have taken a different tack, reading feminist criticism of horror as a recipe for the perfect cake. Take two cups of a beautiful woman, a tablespoon of ridiculous bitchiness, torture and rape until golden brown. Then turn it upside down and glaze.That alone isn't going to turn off some viewers. Horror is supposed to be unpalatable, and we fans can deal with some ugliness if the underlying movie is good. But TPH isn't. The characters alternate between being unlikable because they're fake and unlikable because they're assholes. The first act drags on for far too long, and the only role it seems to play is making the film long enough for release. If the film wasn't already too cliché, there's a nice scene with a vision of a dead, bloody baby bleeding from its eyes so you know exactly what kind of film you've sat yourself in front of. And to top it off, there's a TWIST (!) that will have you longing to sit though an all-night marathon of Shyamalan's worst.So why 3/10? The acting is occasionally serviceable, and where it's not, I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt to the cast-- they didn't have a lot to work with. And the filming itself is talented, the shots occasionally beautiful and well orchestrated.But the film itself doesn't really have anything to say. It's just a poorly paced setup for some underwhelming gore. If you have deep issues with your exes and need some fantasy material, hopefully TPH is the catharsis you need to avoid doing anything awful. Otherwise, stay away.