Zombie Massacre (2013)

Sadly Over-hyped

One of my all time favorites.

Blistering performances.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

I was sufficiently entertained by 'Zombie Massacre 2: Reich of the Dead' to seek out its prequel. With this debut, the filmography isn't quite as bleak and gritty, but the characters are better defined – i.e.: there ARE some actual characters in this, not just cliché-spouting action men as there are in ZM2. Most of the acting here is fine, some isn't. So – much like the other film, this is a bit of a mixed bag.Zombies by their very nature are limited threats. They eat you, you turn into one of them. So wisely – or unwisely, depending on your point of view – the narrative here concentrates mostly on the human crew, a team of mercenaries contracted by the authorities to cover up an outbreak of the living dead, for which the Government (represented by General Carter played by Carl Wharton) is responsible. The remainders take time to make an impression, but after the arrival of a hillbilly and his (suspiciously young) girlfriend, the entourage prove to be pretty well-defined, especially 'Mad Dog' Mackellen (Mike Mitchell).The Freddie Krueger-esque zombies themselves are more human than the full mask creatures from 'ZM2', which is probably budget necessitated, and there are plenty of them here. Luca Boni has a flair for these kind of pictures and succeeds mainly in the bleakness of the situation. He's directed several other films in this genre, one of which appears to be another sequel to this, entitled 'Eaters: Rise of the Dead.' Sadly, a couple of the more anticipated deaths toward the end of the film actually take place off-camera. Worst offender is that of General Carter, whose death the viewer has been anticipating throughout the film and we don't see it! There's also a spot of unwelcome and unnecessary moral philosophising from the remaining heroes – but other than that, I really enjoyed this. There are some very enjoyable twists and turns along the way of the thinly-spread plot that keeps the audience on its toes. It isn't flawless, but I would certainly look forward to any possible Zombie Apocalypse 3.As a coda: there is a bizarre end scene that comes from nowhere but provides a satisfying topless bloodbath towards throughout the end credits. It proves if nothing else that, although the threat featured throughout this picture may have been curtailed, there are still plenty more of the living dead 'out there.'

If the title of this film was changed to make it sound better, it didn't improve the content, although it certainly lives up to its original name, because zombies are massacred all over the place. "Apocalyse Z" appears to have been made largely on a deserted base or a deserted something, and it is a scenario with which most movie buffs will be familiar, if not in the context of a zombie film, then something else. Namely scientist creates serum which threatens the survival of the world, and a bunch of renegades are recruited to save us all, at least that is what they think, but the scientist is not the bad guy, the real villain is - surprise, surprise - a renegade general, and their mission is not only potentially fatal, it is meant to be.Will they get out? Who cares? Is there anything positive about this film? Well, it doesn't lack in action, albeit of a repetitive type, and if you like special effects, you might find something herein that passes for entertainment.

This made me laugh so hard...which is why I have awarded it 3/10 Me personally I love zombie and horror films, this however a total fail. The film is about the usual biological weapon escaped after an accident and everyone's getting infected at a crazy rate. I have absolutely no idea where its supposed to be based, America? The main defense guys (soldiers)are all yanks...I honestly have no clue its confusing. Lets talk accents, it was funny because we had people who who were clearly eastern Euros who could not do the accents lol it was so funny. Also the basic English was wrong, it was like watching teenagers practicing a play the way they were speaking their line and very poor grammar. Weirdly the main star was Christian Boeving who is a real American who is reasonably famous...but he well and truly over over played the American soldier as always with Americans. There was also a British guy in there low listing celeb who appeared I think on Emmerdale, however am not sure you would have to check the credits. Now despite both the Brit and the Yank neither of them mentioned the poor English to the director or writer. Appalling.The acting was So corny, and that guy Dragon LOL really, it made me laugh, we have a Scot an American, some Easter Euro, the girl was a fake American. It was hilarious.The Story line was stolen from so many films, now I know many films these days steal ideas and stories from films and books but this was really taking the Michael. The military officer infected himself with the virus and turned in to a zombie like the 1 in Resident Evil, I could easily list 10+ zombie films names and story-line they have stolen but it will take too long.The Effects at the beginning weren't too bad, it was like they had a budget and they blew it straight away as the effects got worse and worse throughout the film. Again I was laughing when I saw a fat zombie running and looked like they were out of breath, lol.If you love cheap tacky corny films, with extras as actors, zombies what look like their wearing masks,poor effects and terrible acting with atrocious accents then this is the film for you lol.However if you want to have a laugh watch this film once, at least they had a go.

I paused this movie after 25 minutes to see how much remained. This is my first review.I believe this flick has a good chance at becoming a cult classic (it is that bad). Let's start with the cast. There were so many non North American accents in this film (some actor's accents actually changed during the movie), I have no idea why the writer/director insisted the mission be an American one. The writing was poor, so I can't hold the actors entirely to blame. Here we go with the cast: Protagonist - Acting ability (1-10), was a 1. Seriously, I believe this was not just the first movie this guy was ever in, but the first time he ever acted - ever. I am quite sure the director attended the nearest Golds Gym, found a dude who physically fit the part, and hired him. This guy had muscle, but all he did most of the movie was point a handgun in every conceivable direction.Sniper dude- acting ability was a 3. While he had a unique look (squashed nose and a weird hairstyle that kind of puffed out only on one side of his head), he too was not good. A supposed master sniper who single-handedly killed 300 soldiers in Kosovo, (and could shoot a fly at 1 mile), handled his sniper rifle about as smoothly as I break dance. And the fact that a zombie was able to climb up the ladder, lumber up behind him and basically sit on him, before being detected?? Come on.Female Ninja - acting a 3 - this was ridiculous; a non-assuming girl with lots of pancake / eye makeup, maybe 5'6", added to the mission for her hand to hand combat abilities (to protect the group!). I mean really, ninja or not, hulk the protagonist could have levelled her with a fart. And man, not only did no one take the time to teach her how to hold her sword, her lethal swings were at a speed of a tai chi master. Although silent for the first part of the film, once she opened her mouth, any belief that she was this mysterious, dangerous ninja warrior, was gone.The bomber: acting actually not bad, about a 5. He had a few okay lines and although a stereotype, not the worst I've seen. My only real beef was how this guy's hair continued to be immaculate throughout the movie. 2/3 of the way in, after zombie attacks, detonating bombs, blowing off his best friends head (with his own face was 2 inches away - clever), his hair looked like he just got out of the salon.The American General with the British Accent (although I detected a German twang), was drab. Very evident all the military extras were just dudes from the catering truck or perhaps relatives of the crew, as their performances were terrible.Our troop finds that they have been duped and are to die with the zombies. Soon after, our hero remarks that they have about 50 minutes to get clear of the area – get this - by 300 miles, or kaboom. Really? 300 miles in 50 minutes? That's not even the funny part. While time is ticking down they decide to look for ammo and come across the other girl. Hero frees her and the group go to the roof. Then, and God only knows why, a relationship starts between hero and his new girl (screenplay checklist - love interest for the protagonist? Check!). While the rest of our group is wasting ammo shooting zombies on the ground who are no threat, hero and the girl build a relationship. Tick, tick, tick.Fast forward to the American pony-tailed dude and his girlfriend in the VW bug (who are vacationing in Romania, yes one of the top tourist destinations of 2013). Why did this dude feel the need to tell everyone his girlfriend didn't talk because years ago her brother killed every member of the family with a hammer? Did I miss something? Okay, triple fast forward to the end. Bad General (who I assumed all along was the antagonist- wrong, surprise coming), is holding Hero's 7 year old daughter and wants to trade for hero's new girlfriend.. This big movie moment, our hero finally holding his only daughter for the first time, was about as moving as a eulogy for a Taliban suicide bomber.I must admit I was surprised by the sudden emergence of the Toxic Avenger, who originally looked like he stood at least 8 feet tall when he killed the first two dudes, but was actually barely taller than our hero in the next shot.The very ending of this movie, with the gratuitous nudity left me scratching my head.A few points I forgot - the little 'moment' between the bomber and sniper just before the bomber mercy-kills his buddy "so many wars, so many woman" The cameo of the US President with a thick German accent. This was perhaps the most unrealistic scene in the movie. Was the director trying to imply that the U.S. should waive the requirement of the President to have been born in American (so Arnold can run?).And when they climb into an abandoned car (VW bug) and then begin discussing their predicament. Our Hero hadn't even tried to start the car yet - even just to see if it would start, or if it there was gas - they just sat there pontificating. Next scene they are tearing up the asphalt at 15 miles per hour.On a positive note, the zombies and make-up were not bad, although it was frequently obvious some zombies just started running on the word "Action". I will say, the old scientist, despite the US government pumping millions of dollars into his research, worked in a lab that was the size of my garage, and had less technology in it.