Unrated: The Movie (2009)

Surprisingly incoherent and boring

Best movie of this year hands down!

It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

There is nothing good to say about this film.The people making it didn't care one jot about it so why should the people watching it?When you cast people like Eileen Daly you're telling the audience that you don't care before you even shoot a frame.There is no script, no drama, no comedy, very little gore and no point to the whole sorry endeavour.While watching this monstrosity it was obvious that it was written (or improvised) by lazy, talentless people who simply couldn't be bothered to raise a single minute of it above the bottom of the barrel.At one point we are told that Eleanor James is " the next big thing in Hollywood" (!) yet she goes to a dingy shack in the woods- carrying her own suitcase and the "camera equipment"- for a clearly retarded director with a high street camcorder and no script. Yeah right, up- and- coming Hollywood stars do that all the time. I think that's how Keira Knightley, Scarlett Johannsen and Olivia Wilde started.Oh I've just thought of a positive, it makes a satisfying thunk when it hits the bottom of the trash can. Pathetic.

Rose and Schnaas, that could have been a perfect match to make some gory flick. Sadly, it didn't work out that way. What they tried to make is a hot comedy but it failed on all ways. I never had a laugh on my face and the acting was especially from Rose as wooden as it can be. It's sad that it has to go that way because they had some famous British names of the genre in it. Eileen Daly from Razor Blade Smile for example. But I must say that the best acting was for Eleanor James, somehow I like her way of acting, I have seen her before in other flicks and always I notice her in some kind of way. The gore that you suspect only comes in at 50 minutes and it's way too late. But when it comes it is indeed very messy but not to say that it would be something for the gorehounds. Another thing that I would mention is the strip act of porn star Vivian Schmitt, what that had to do with the movie, well, nothing, pure gratuitous. And talking about nudity, almost all girls show their juggs and Eleanor's ones get all the red stuff all over her. So it's a kind of boring flick, just watch the last 25 minutes and look out for Karl from Violent Sh*t. Unrated, don't know why...

The first part of the film is the pure comedy section with the highlight for me being the outdoor fight scene between the four lead ladies and the incompetent, one man band of a film maker named Frank played by Timo Rose. I bet the ladies enjoyed this particular scene. Also,the early verbal exchanges, with a touch of comedy, between the actresses which cleverly revealed their contrasting personalities and attitudes brought a smile to my face. The bumbling, fumbling Frank instantly reminded me of the old Three Stooges characters and it was interesting to note that Timo mentioned The Three Stooges in an interview presented in the DVD Extras section. His confrontation with Magdalena Kalley when he endeavours to take a sneak shot of her with his camera was another comedic highlight.We have to wait until the second part of the film before the horror sequences are presented but the wait is well worth it as the special effect segments prove to be highly effective. A big thumbs up to all concerned in this department.I was already familiar with the work of the two English lead actresses - Eileen Daly (a national treasure) and Eleanor James - and the performances of the two young German actresses, namely Magdalena Kalley and Annika Straub, have certainly encouraged me to look out for further films in which they appear. This film was the first major role for both these ladies and they reveal potential for further screen successes. I have seen Eleanor in several films when she had smaller roles and her performance in this film confirms my previously formed opinion about her capabilities. She has certainly enhanced her reputation and handled her part with great confidence and competence. This was particularly evident in the closing scenes. Clips of Eleanor's fight sequences will probably appear in future compilations of clips featuring girls with guns, swords and other weapons! My only criticism of the film is that the fight scene with a high kicking Magdalena did not go on for a longer period.The appearances of Manoush - one of my favourite actresses - in several scenes was particularly pleasing. This talented lady possesses the ability to dominate any scene that she appears in by merely standing and staring. Great expressions are once again evident. It is a bonus when she actually opens her mouth and moves! I formed the impression as the film progressed that everyone was enjoying their participation in the making of this movie and this contributed to my enjoyment of the film itself. It is a favourable and positive reflection on the film directors Andreas Schnaas and Timo Rose. There is certainly a sense that everyone involved are on the same wavelength and enthusiastic about their contribution.If the objective of a film is to entertain then this one certainly hit the target as far as I am concerned.

Im starting to think that i don't want to see "Karl Vs Axe" the part 4 of the Violent Sh+t saga. Well, i will watch it because I'm a big fan of part 3 and i think that part 2 is very entertaining. But, since 1999s Violent Sh+t part 3, Andreas Schnaas is only making bad and disappointing movies. Previous Schnaass movie was the horrible and unfunny horror-comedy "Dont wake the dead", now he makes a very similar movie. An unfunny horror-comedy. There are some good gore fx at the ending but nothing more, this movie is hard to watch, its impossible to watch without Fast forwarding. Its boring as hell. Timo Rose co-directs, he is a more talented director than Schnaass but this movie is just awful. The plot? a wannabe movie maker who jerks-off to a picture of Andreas Schnaas wants to make a movie with a group of chicks, then a book appears in the house(like an evil dead homage) and a group of monsters, including Karl the butcher from Violent Sh+it appears. Hardly watchable. 2/10