Camp Fear (1991)

hyped garbage

The film creates a perfect balance between action and depth of basic needs, in the midst of an infertile atmosphere.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

An archeology professor (Vincent Van Patten) takes four female students (including Betsy Russell, Van Patten's wife at the time) up to Mystic Mountain for a weekend of fun surveying. What they don't expect is to run afoul of some rowdy bikers (with Nels Van Patten, Vincent's bro, in their ranks), who try to rape them. Oh, and there is some 7' mutant Druid priest (Tiny Ron) wandering around looking for sacrifices for some millennium celebration ritual. Ah, jeez, this is some rough stuff here folks. I'll never understand how filmmakers can pull together enough money for a low budget horror flick and then make something so routine and dull. Does it stem from cynicism ("Eh, the public will watch anything") or just plain ineptness? About the only impressive things in this picture are huge Tiny Ron as the monster and George "Buck" Flower as a wino. The producers obviously knew it was lacking as they hired Fred Olen Ray to shoot a new opening where 7 sorority sisters (including Monique Gabrielle and porn star Savannah) walk around topless for about 5 minutes. It isn't enough to save the film. Perhaps it is worth seeing for laughs, mostly provided by the terrible performance by Playboy Playmate Peggy McIntaggart (aka Peggy Sands) as one of the students. And, no, she doesn't get naked. This was originally shot as H.P. LOVECRAFT'S THE HOWLER, but I'm guessing the producers thought even the most naive horror fan wouldn't be too pleased with that as it has no Lovecraft mentions and now howling.

I know my rating seems a little high, but... well, I actually enjoyed this movie. I was drunk at the time, and that might explain why.Camp Fear has very little nudity, and almost no blood. What it does have is a surprisingly well written script being performed by actors who have no idea that what they are reading is a comedy. Yes, this movie is a comedy. The director and the actors play it totally straight, and guess what, it's even funnier because of it. Now, this is a "so bad it's good" funny.*Spoilers from here on out* Let us go through the highlights off this movie. You have two random shower scenes (one with Michelle Bauer and one with porn star Savanna). Both girls have a total of about five lines, show their breasts, and then vanish. Next you have a random song and dance number. I'm not joking. For a good five minutes this movie goes musical with a full lambada. It's hilarious. The song is terrible. The dancing is decent. Well, except for Tiffany, who looks like she's having a seizure. After this you get a half decent women in danger movie. This part actually worked. The bikers that attack the girls are silly, but there are a few scenes where they are actually menacing. It stays like this for a while until... a giant rubber looking lake monster (well... a sea monster in the lake) eats one of the bikers. You see this head float towards the guy, open it's mouth, and then the guy goes under water. You never see the monster again. Right after that we are introduced to his servant, the Giant Druid. This guy had me laughing the entire movie. It's all so random, that I just kind of stopped caring about the plot and enjoyed the silliness. So, apparently the thing in the lake needs four female virgin sacrifices. Well... the thing in the lake eats two bikers and a homeless man, and then Tiffany is sacrificed (more on this later). So I guess they all were secretly young, female virgins. Oh well...Oh, and why do they have to be sacrificed? To stop the end of the world of course. Well, kind of. You see, the movie takes place in 1990, and the end of the world happens at the end of the second millennium. So... the druid and lake/sea monster thingy are getting a head start.Now, did I mention there is no blood in this movie? There really isn't. The most extreme violence is during Tiffany's death. This is the reason I have th spoiler warning people. She gets her throat cut. When she does this huge geyser of red paint floods out of her neck... kind of. It more or less comes out next to her neck, and then runs over her face. And the entire time... Tiffany is laughing. Yes, she is laughing. Oh what acting.So, is Camp Fear a good movie? NO! It's terrible. It's from RetroMedia people. They put out bad movies on purpose. This is a classic midnight movie. Camp Fear is a funny movie. Get a few beers, a few friends, and pop this baby in. You'll have a blast. Trust me.

If this movie was made two years earlier it could have been a lot better. But unfortunately, it was made in the decade that had no idea about how a horror movie was supposed to look or act. When I first heard about this movie, people on IMDb were classifying it as the sequel to Cheerleader Camp. Oh how wrong they were. Yes, Betsy Russell was in it but Uma Thurman sure wasn't. I'd really like to find the person who started that whole sequel rumor. I'm sure a lot of us would though. I'm not gonna give anything away because frankly I don't remember how this movie even ends! I'm just gonna tell you to watch a real camp horror movie... The Burning starring Jason Alexander, Fisher Stevens, Holly Hunter & the geek from Fast Times at Ridgemont High. A word to the wise - Just because a horror movie has the word camp in the title, doesn't mean its gonna be worth watching. Oh, and another thing, ANY HORROR FLICK MADE IN THE EARLY TO MID 90's WAS EVER CONSIDERED EVEN REMOTELY GOOD!

A handful of nubile young college sorority sisters decide to go camping with a professor. A giant druid want to sacrifice them to prevent the apocalypse come the year 2000, they also have to contend with bikers, an Indian and a loch ness monster type thing. Worth watching for only 3 reasons, George 'Buck' Flower (a sadly unsung B-movie staple) is on hand as a hobo and the other 2 belong to the stunning Savannah (in one of only 3 non-porn roles she had). Both have very small roles. Too bad everything else in the movie is horrendously bad.My Grade: D- Retromedia DVD Extras: Original Trailer Eye Candy: 4 pairs of breasts, 2 asses