Phoenix the Warrior (1988)

I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Too much of everything

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Look at that Boris Vallejo poster! Between that and Persis Khambatta (Megaforce), this seemed like one of those movies I had to see. Even better, it's alternate title, Phoenix the Warrior, is awesome!Starring Kathleen Kinmont as Phoenix (she's also Kelly Meeker in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers) and Khambatta as the evil Cobalt, this film is all about a pregnant woman who gives birth to one of the few men on earth. There's also a Reverend Mother who is in control of all the sperm and has a religious hold over all of the women.Oh yeah - there are also the Rezules, who worship television. How awesome would it be that if instead of zombies, they were dressed up like characters from famous TV shows? Archie Bunker ruling the Badlands of the end times? This movie could have made that happen.When I was a kid, I wrote a comic book called Cola War (get it, Cold War?) where there was no water so everyone only consumed soda and religiously followed the soda that they drank. It was a great idea until someone explained to me that to create soda, you needed water. None of that logical thinking was applied to this movie.That's one of the downsides to watching so many movies. You get yourself excited and then, the chase is, as Lemmy taught us all, often so much better than the catch.For a film packed with naked women and lesbian religious gangs, you kind of wish that it was a lot more entertaining. Well, you can't get everything, I guess.

If I remember correctly (and I may not - it's been years), I think Phoenix the Warrior (or She-Wolves of the Wasteland) was standard fare on the old USA UP All Night movie show. At the time, I thought it was a decent enough time waster, but then again, I was usually pretty inebriated when I watched it. Re-watching it last night, sober as a judge, I've changed my opinion drastically. What a bore! An hour and a half of the deadliest dull film I've seen in a long, long time. The acting is atrocious, the special effects are horrible, the music is annoying after about 3.4 seconds, the dialogue is cringey, and the sets are as cheap as you'll find. Throw in some really crappy, amateurish fight choreography and a plot that comes across like it was written by a drunken badger and you end up with one sorry excuse for a movie. I watch a lot of bad movies, but Phoenix the Warrior is too much. I really can't imagine enjoying something much less than I did this movie. It's a disaster!Based on other comments I've read, I'm sure this one will get voted down on IMDb. It seems there is an audience out there who enjoys Phoenix the Warrior for the titulation it provides. I really feel sorry for anyone who watches this dreck for that reason. I suggest looking elsewhere.

Putrid hellspawn of Conan the Barbarian and Mad Max has Kathleen Kinmont as a female warrior(..indeed quite a stretch, although she's smokin' in animal skins)on a mission to keep a boy child away from an evil witch who wishes to use his youth to gain power over the remaining civilization(..the entire male race was wiped out, save one, by a bacterial virus that ravaged the land, leaving only a small number of females to fend for themselves). The Reverend Mother(Sheila Howard in hideous make-up with feeding tubes and wires in her head, hooked to a machine which is keeping her alive)orders, from a room decorated with plastic sheets, her second-in-command Cobalt(Persis Khambatta, over-the-top in an unflattering performance)to find the boy. Phoenix(Kinmont)joins forces with Keela(Peggy McIntaggart), impregnated with a seed that soon is carried to term, with them attempting to remain out of the clutches of Mother and Cobalt which is not easy since the fiends have an armament of ugly foot-soldiers on the prowl. Cobalt's village(..with buildings built from scrap metal) provides necessary supplies for survival out in the desert wastelands which occupy the area all around them. Soon Phoenix and Keela discover an actual man(James Emery)when they intrude upon his shack not knowing it was his. The trio, along with Keela's boy child, will form a unit that will attempt to overthrow Reverend Mother, Cobalt, and their female thugs, hoping to end their terrible reign so peace can exist. That will not be easy.The film's key novelty, in my opinion, is that the cast is comprised mostly of women. They are dressed in as little as possible, adopt attitudes, and fire automatic weapons at each other, with essentially two factions emerging..those who are under Reverend Mother's command and the "trappers", those who oppose her regime and wish to be free from her tyranny. There's even a scene featuring gladiatorial combat between Phoenix and Cobalt's hand-picked warriors. There's a very bizarre tribe of severely deformed humans with ghastly faces whose voices offer a strange frequency when they talk..they worship the television gods(!)and offer up captured Phoenix and Keela for a sacrifice..it's good that Phoenix made a friend in her temporary prison with a warrior she was forced to engage in combat, Neon(Laurie de Nuccio). The filmmakers try hard convincing us that Kinmont could make a legitimate female warrior, but Brigitte Nielsen she's not. Her battles with other adversaries are laughable, and Kinmont's eventual confrontation with Khambatta couldn't be more lame. She sure is nice to gaze upon even if the movie itself can be difficult to stomach. McIntaggart isn't gonna win any acting awards herself, but she is also quite a tasty dish.I'm honest when I say that renting She-Wolves of the Wasteland had more to do with the idea that women would be occupying the screen time in a sub-genre known more for starring men with bulging biceps beating the hell out of each other with giant(..often quite sharp)weapons. The rough female brutes that often cause our heroines problems are a direct opposite of Phoenix and Keela, they have a tendency to be uglier with crazy hair styles. If you are wondering about the nudity, never fear, Phoenix and Keela meet a female group, in face paint, hiding out on the other side of a waterfall(..why aren't more of these women here?!?!)who bathe naked and dance, soon falling prey to Cobalt for lending their enemies refuge..I wish it would've been Kinmont, but why argue.Phoenix's introduction should provide amusement..while two thugs attempt to harm Keela, Phoenix tosses an apple she was eating in the air, catching their attention temporarily, blasting them, catching the fruit afterward! Don't expect anything of quality whether it be action sequences or hand to hand combats because everything is clumsily staged. Cobalt and her cronies drive dune buggies as transport! Bizarre sequence where Phoenix, Keela, the child, and the man cross into the graveyard of the "TV people"(..dressed in robes)where television sets accompany skeletal remains lying in unfolded recliners!

The summary says it all: What do you get when you combine big hair, big guns, big, um...personalities! and a serious lack of wardrobe? She-Wolves of the Wasteland, a post-apocalyptic classic that features women--lots and lots of women--who leave little to the imagination as they battle each other in various junkyards and gravel pits to determine the fate of the entire world. Leave your brain behind for this shamelessly sinful sexploitation romp with a plot you won't remember...but plenty of eye candy you won't forget! Found it in the bargain bin--it's been released on DVD for the first time, finally