Terror from the Year 5000 (1958)

Sick Product of a Sick System

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

A Disappointing Continuation

The story, direction, characters, and writing/dialogue is akin to taking a tranquilizer shot to the neck, but everything else was so well done.

This is the first time reviewing a movie featured on MST3K, but I do not let Mike and the bots influence my opinion on the movie. I have seen some pretty good movies on that show, and the hilarious riffing just enhanced it. This movie, however, was really bad, like most movies featured on the show.I think the worst thing about this movie is the pacing. Basically a guy finds some statue thingy, which he uses some kind of weird science to determine it's from the future, and then nothing really happens for half the movie. There's nothing wrong with a slow- building thriller, but there's no tension in the first half. Sure we get some pointless subplot about a love triangle or something, but this is a movie obviously marketed as a sci fi thriller. How about some thrills? Those of you patient enough to get to the titular "Terror" will at least be treated with some cool make up effects, which is basically the only reason I gave it a three instead of a one. But other than that, the second half doesn't have much thrills either.But enough of the pacing, let's talk about some of the filmmaking. Like I said before, there's some good make-up near the end. But the person wearing the make up was in a really stupid costume, but I can't really explain much more without ruining the film. There was some on location shooting that appears to be shot at night, without much lighting, so it was too dark to see what was happening at times. There was also lots of padding, with pointless shots of driving and walking, and a couple over long scenes with a scientist and a time machine being, uh, scientist-y. As for the acting, it was wooden, but the average amount of wood you'd find in a b-movie.I would recommend the MST3K episode, but this movie is probably unwatchable without it.

As a child I fell in love with 'monster' movies immediately upon seeing my first (Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman) on television. Fortunately for me I grew up in the fifties, an era prolific with cheapie horror and sci-fi films. A neighborhood theatre ran them almost exclusively at the time and I attended every Saturday (and sometimes a couple more days per week in glorious summer). Just couldn't get enough of this stuff.I could take all the giant ants, scorpions and spiders, all the ghosts and haunted houses, the numerous editions of frankenstein monsters and invaders from space pretty well. For some reason, though, nothing frightened me more or stayed with me longer than the rare feminine monsters. Perhaps it was because women were always the loving caregivers (Mom, Grandma, my teachers, my sisters). When sick, or waking from a nightmare we always call for Mom. So, I think the idea of a woman being a vicious, scary thing was such a perversion of all I otherwise knew, the effect on me was especially chilling. I had no problem with the mutilated faces of men as in 'Horrors Of The Black Museum', 'The Black Sleep', 'The Unearthly' and so forth. But the visages of the female victims in 'The Hypnotic Eye' and of the niece in 'Frankenstein's Daughter' always made me squeeze shut my eyes.'The Astounding She Monster' is a prime example of these fears - a malevolent, radioactive female relentlessly stalking me, her touch meaning sure pain and death. From the age of seven until seventeen, that particular luminescent character showed up in my nightmares. But the single most frightening thing I ever saw was the female terror that came shrieking out of the time machine in this movie, arms pumping in a marching style, coming right at me. Peeling off another woman's face to wear as a mask was incredibly disturbing. Yep - this was the single-most terror of my childhood movie-viewing. I couldn't even bring myself to keep my eyes open for more than half a second when the movie closes with a close-up of this hideously deformed feminist with a wicked widow's peak. Even at the age of sixteen, surrounded by buddies watching it on the late show, my body kept freezing with fear, though I didn't mention it to them.Going by most of the reviews here, today's audiences, accustomed to the most graphic horror, just find this monster boring. But I'm still scared of this terror from the year 5000. Oh yeah, and the four-eyed cat gave me the creeps pretty good too.

Scientests living in rural Florida build a teleportation device that brings out a freaky woman from the year 5000 A.D.Admittedly Terror from the Year 5000 is a completely hokey low-budgeter, but it's one of those old drive-in flicks that has an unintentionally funny edge that makes it a riot of a watch. The effects are all very low budget, after all our villain is a weird screeching woman in a sequined suit! The cast is OK, but everything else is a bit silly!Still those that enjoy old schlock flicks will find it a decent laugh.** out of ****

RE: The DVD edition of 1958's "Terror From the Year 5000" recently issued by Incredibly Strange Film Works (ISFW) of Jamestown, MO: Those of you who've been waiting for a pristine-quality DVD edition of this fun Sci-Fi oldie will have to go on waiting. The very fuzzy picture and sound quality (with contrasts so bad that some night scenes are nearly impossible to make out) make this ISFW DVD a big disappointment, especially considering the $24.99 price tag! (The Horror/Sci-Fi fans among you may also remember ISFW's equally unsatisfactory VHS video edition of 1964's "Horror of Party Beach", mastered from a toned-down TV print with all the gore removed!)I'd say that any DVD or VHS video bearing the ISFW logo should be approached with caution.