Court of Lonely Royals (2007)

Awesome Movie

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

In a bleak near future murder has become a commonplace occurrence. Hired killers Holden Janicowsky (well played with stoic resignation by Damon Gameau) and Hunter Thompson (a solid performance by Ayse Tezel) find themselves in considerable jeopardy after they cross paths with innocent lass Camille (an endearing turn by Leah de Niese) and vengeful prostitute Charlene (a winningly saucy portrayal by the foxy Samantha Noble).Writer/director Ronan Michael Hoole keeps the gripping story zipping along at a breakneck pace, maintains an uncompromisingly grim tone throughout, offers a vivid depiction of a shockingly dark, amoral, and dangerous world, and delivers a provocative central point on the massive spiritual toll ending human lives takes on one's soul. Moreover, Hoole's flashy and dynamic style, Marc Windon's splashy and dynamic cinematography, and the pulsating score by The Midnight Juggernauts all give this film an extra exciting and invigorating raw vitality. Worth a watch.

You know what's more annoying than sparkly vampires? Mopey killers, as this film so amply proves.Undiscernably set in the near future, the film follows a pair of disaffected, twentyish emo contract killers who work for a cop that hangs out in a food court. In between unbearably long periods of staring off into space, our apathetic assassins kill people using their lethal powers of ennui. Well, that and a number of ridiculously staged coincidences. But even after the miserable murderers find girlfriends (as improbably as that sounds) the film still can't find a pulse and we're treated to another eternity of anguished aimlessness before the final non-conclusion puts us out of *our* misery. Stay away from this one unless your an emo teen. Or comatose. Or both.

This was one of eight Australian made and produced films I saw during last year's Adelaide Film Festival. It was easily my favorite, and I have been waiting (apparently in vain) for director/writer Rohan to release his second film ever since.I thought the way the film was cut together was both highly creative and original and the plot line was as dynamic as its characters/actors. Seeing works like these makes me feel proud to call myself Australian. The fact that Rohan Michael Hoole received such little attention either then or later on for his debut feature leaves me wanting to defect.I consider myself a discerning viewer and as a consequence have never owned a television. I was introduced to SBS and foreign films via my German-born father at an early age and I have attended the opening of almost every Australian-made film since 2001. My favorite director/writer/camera man team is Bergman/Nykvist.Why am I telling you this? Because I think that: a) if you haven't seen this film you need to and, b) if you see it and don't like it, you're suffering a case of the green-eyed monster.

Teenage girls that have no perception of reality may find this movie to be cutting edge and awesome. The rest of us will just be thinking- gee this is a rather flashy way of not telling an interesting story and the action is very limp for the most part.About every 15 minutes there is 30 seconds of decent footage so there's some potential for who shot this movie but no potential for who wrote or directed it.The girls are pretty so this is OK to completely waste a Saturday afternoon with but just realize this is a stupid poorly written comic book timewaster and nothing else.PLOT: Attempts at making assassination look stylish and cool are coupled with unrealistic plot twists and dialog- at no point will you care about any of the characters. This follows several assassins as their lives start to collide. Cosmo magazine would be proud. The rest of us will wish the mall rat whores that purchase this trash were not altering the market of movies so much.This movie could have been saved by being directed by John Woo with American and Chinese actors and a whole lot more character development and believable plot twists.Go see a hong kong cinema gangster flick instead- those are the real deal- this is a mall imitation jewelry version.