Anaconda 3: Offspring (2008)

It is not deep, but it is fun to watch. It does have a bit more of an edge to it than other similar films.

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

A mercenary-for-hire accepts a mission from a billionaire to capture a dangerous snake that could possibly help cure a terminal illness. Anaconda and Anaconda 2 were of course no masterpiece of cinema either but they were a heck tone of fun especially the first one unfortunately this one however was beyond bad in alot of many ways. The Terrible cgi that make the previous 2 look like classics, the horrible perfomances from the untalented cast such as David Hasselhoff and the over the top kills make for a really and i mean really god awful flick. (0/10)

Forget the horrible second film in the series (ANACONDA 2: HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID) as ANACONDA III is a much better production and in much the same spirit as the ultra-cheesy original. Yes, this is a cheapo B-movie TV production, filled to the brim with cheesy CGI, bad acting and a script that goes around in circles for ages. But it's also a whole lot of fun.B-movie fans will be in their element with this action-packed storyline, which sees a pair of gigantic killer snakes on the loose, pursued by a pack of bounty hunters with material reward in mind. Half the film consists of David Hasslehoff and John Rhys-Davies trying to outdo each other in terms of scenery-chewing, and the rest consists of the fake-looking snakes ripping up the human cast members in increasingly gory ways.Yes, this is a film all about the kills, and they're satisfyingly bloody by genre standards, about the same as in my other cult favourite, AZTEC REX. Watching a series of poor actors getting munched on is an often hilarious experience, and it helps the film run along smoothly. ANACONDA III: OFFSPRING is certainly no classic, but I enjoyed the heck out of it.

When you see the title, Anaconda 3, you know what to expect, or what not to expect. Do NOT expect witty lines, intelligent plot, Oscar-winning acting, breathtaking CGIs or scientifically accurate factual details. Instead you can look forward to experiencing extremely awkward acting, dull and one-dimensional characters, very cheesy lines, supremely crappy CGIs, or in other words, a film that has not one single reason speaking for its existence. The only reason I'm giving this pile of dung one point is the unintentional (?) comedic value. You cannot watch this movie without busting out laughing every three minutes. So, do not go and watch this movie in order to see horror, gore, thrill or action, because all you get is a very hungover looking David Hasselhoff repeating cheesy lines and waving a embarrassingly crappy gun with a "hot" (meaning super annoying) blonde "doctor" chick on his arm as they sprint around an East-European forest after two CGI snakes that look like they were designed by a three year old.

I approached this movie with trepidation, even though I had seen both the first two movies I wasn't really sure what to expect, although the title gave me a clue. So I thought - what the hell! Plus it was a free rental, which kind of swung the deal for me. And it has the Hoff in it.. if only briefly. The plot is Python (Monty)-esque waffer thin, as is any sequence which involves any form of blood spilling - think "Black Knight-arm cut off" from Holy Grail and that's the realism you're dealing with, i.e not very. Add in a few squashed people, some decapitated people, a plot twist that you can see coming from, oh, the 2nd minute maybe. Don't be fooled by the "offspring" part - the only baby anaconda you see is right at the end, even then I think it's another snake playing a stunt anaconda. People have said that the Anaconda doesn't look like a real one, well I wouldn't know for sure what a real one looks like, I do know however that, much as cats only see in black & white, Anaconda-vision sees everything in orange. Much like viewing the movie through a Quality Street wrapper. Which may improve it.. Its a ho hum way to pass 85 minutes or so, nothing new or earth shattering and if you've seen either of the previous 2 you'll have an idea of what to expect. Mostly worth viewing to see one of the many ways to execute the Hoff... :)