G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987)

People are voting emotionally.

everything you have heard about this movie is true.

Don't Believe the Hype

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

"Man, whoever heard of being shot down by a salad?" That line succinctly sums up the absurd nature of this movie, which went direct to video upon it's release back in 1987. A fun romp which although obviously aimed at kids, there's still enough there for grown-ups who remember the series for it to appeal to the child in them. The plot involves GI Joe, a highly trained military force who defend the world against the evil terrorist organisation of Cobra, who once led by the devious and villainous Cobra Commander, are now commanded by the genetically created Serpentor. Circumstances find them allying themselves with a race of Serpent like beings who were the initial predominant inhabitants of the world. This was before the Ice age destroyed most of their civilisation of Cobra-la and mankind took it's place. Their genocidal ruler Golobulous (voiced by the late Burgess Meredith) intends to launch a seemingly infinite number of mutative spore pods In to space, which when they ripen and burst outside the Earth's atmosphere, will reign down and transform every human being on the planet in to mindless mutant creatures. For them to hatch Golobulous needs the B.E.T. (Broadcast Energy Transmitter) so that the spores will hatch in space. It's left to GI Joe who are currently in possession of the B.E.T., and are in the midst of testing it to prevent Cobra and Cobra-la from stealing it and carrying out their heinous plan. It's safe to say that GI Joe the Movie with it's silly, contrived plot doesn't deserve too much scrutiny when it comes to logic. No doubt likely due to the writers taking in to account what they would assume to be the undemanding nature of their target audience. Cobra-la's plan should instantly fall apart as surely the vegetative spores would burn up in the Earth's atmosphere let alone make it in to outer space. Also it's all rather convenient that GI Joe happens to be testing the B.E.T. in the Himilayas, not a million miles from where the remaining remnants of Cobra-la have been preserved. Despite this there's still much to be enjoyed with the amusing, infectious machismo (and believe me there's plenty of it) of the films heroic protagonists, vying against other 80's movies like Top Gun and Aliens for the most testosterone fulled characters imaginable. At it's heart though it's more good natured and humoured with colourful, likable heroes to cheer and villains to boo and hiss at. The animation by 1980's standards is actually fairly decent although it could never rival the sublime mastery of Japanese Anime, while the voice cast does a proficient job of bringing the wealth of characters to life. Plus the script is peppered with some one-liners which are fairly witty and is pretty self knowing for what is essentially an animated film for kids. If you find yourself looking after your or someone else's children then rather than find yourself forced to sit through something like Peppa Pig or Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom, then you might want to throw this on in their place. It's vastly more tolerable and something that little and bigger kids might appreciate.

I can't agree with those who called this a great movie. One wonders if they worked for the studio or for Hasbro. Some of the feedback was completely over the top – much like the GI Joe franchise itself. And that's the shame of it, because the GI Joe series had the potential to be really great. But unfortunately Ron Friedman and the studio never fully understood why the show worked, which was largely in spite of their handling of it.We liked GI Joe because the characters were so interesting. Everyone eagerly looked for their favorites to appear in individual episodes, wanting to know more about them and wanting to see them succeed, even if they happened to be members of COBRA. Would it have been too much to ask for just ONE of Cobra Commander's plots to be successful? But unfortunately the writers and producers felt it necessary to dumb-down practically every aspect of the show, deeming the audience either too squeamish or too stupid to accept any form of realism.Despite the fact that the show's basic premise was based on domestic warfare, GI Joe's creators felt it necessary to safeguard their viewing audience from any hint of reality. Cartoon violence that would have been necessary for the show to have any substance was replaced by outright buffoonery on both sides. Most fans kept watching in spite of the writing – willing to overlook the most ridiculous story lines and plot holes because we loved the characters. So naturally, the studio execs did what all executives do when they don't understand their fan base – they took away the show's best redeeming quality. Starting in season 2 they began robbing us of those original characters, replacing them abruptly with new ones that were predictable and uninteresting – all in the name of selling more toys. GI Joe The Movie represents the sad pinnacle of this strategy, with a whole new group of GI Bozos created to take over the franchise, including the absolute worst two ever created – Big Lob and Chuckles, and the completely unnecessary Lt. Falcon. I suspect this new batch was brewed up just in case we had grown attached to any of the Season 2 characters, who no doubt would have been jettisoned in Season 3. We saw so little of some of the original Joes in the movie that I had to check the credits just to make sure they had made a cursory appearance. Needless to say, the franchise collapsed under the weight of such inept leadership and fan ignorance, and a third season was never produced.The movie did have a few high points. Chris Latta gave his usual strong performance as Cobra Commander, Michael Bell had a chance to expand Duke's character, and Burgess Meredith with his gravelly voice brought a good menacing quality to Golobulus. One of the darkest (and best) lines of the entire series is when he said to Falcon "I will stain my hands with your blood." But memorable lines like that were few and far between in the series. Kudos to Friedman for (finally) trying to interject some realism with the death of Duke, but even that was thwarted in the end. We often make fun of his coma scene, comparing it to Futurama's lengthy list of coma patients in the embedded soap opera 'All My Circuits'.Like every agent of COBRA, GI Joe The Movie misses the mark. It's sad because the series had tremendous potential. But the writers consistently went wrong in so many ways, turning action/adventure into unintentional comedy. In their insistence of trying to lower the collective IQ of their viewers, they guaranteed that certain things would always happen during any episode of GI Joe. For starters, COBRA can't shoot straight. You'd think at least one member would have been sent down to the firing range for some target practice. Second, GI Joe has the worst security on the planet. Zartan, Zarana, the Baroness and Firefly could come and go at will and should have just been issued EZ passes for the front gate. Third, the animals were smarter than their human counterparts and in the case of Polly, were more articulate (at least as far as Bazooka was concerned – don't they have IQ tests to get in to GI Joe?)Fourth, there was more depth in the characters' 2-D drawings than there ever was in their development. Despite being the leader of the most lethal terrorist organization on the planet, Cobra Commander has the military prowess of Col. Klink from Hogan's Heroes. Duke on the other hand is one of those fortunate people who goes through life never having to second guess himself because he's so perfect. Other characters like Shipwreck, Bazooka and the Dreadnok's are forever doomed to play the fool for comic relief.Fifth were all the things that make you go 'huh?' For example, why do COBRA soldiers never remove their helmets, even in the gym? (how do they shower?) Why does Quick-Kick wear no shirt or shoes in the snow, and Barbecue his suffocating fire-suit in the desert? How DOES Deep Six go to the bathroom in that get-up? And how many times has Lady Jaye gotten knocked unconscious – shouldn't she have been discharged by now for post-traumatic concussion syndrome? I guess since GI Joes never lose a fair fight, the only other option is to either dog-pile them with a dozen enemy soldiers, or bash them over the head with blunt-force trauma.Sixth is that one GI Joe is all it takes to bring down an entire COBRA armada (we call them "One Shot Joe"). A single handgun, a magic javelin, or a piece of fruit was enough for any Joe to win the day. Which raises the final point: GI Joe can never lose – COBRA can never win. End of story, and the premature end of the franchise.

I think 'GI Joe: The Movie' is not made for children. It's a very detailed movie with interesting events. The best points of the movie is Cobra Commander's turning into a snake, and the origin of Serpentor. Serpentor's DNA was designed by the leader of Cobras, the DNA was a combination of genious humans' (such as Einstein) DNAs. But the result wasn't so successful. I think this movie could be a great thriller, if it was made more cleverly, because the story is wonderful. Ages ago, the world was ruled by Cobras, where the human were stupid creatures, but atmospheric conditions forced Cobras to hide, and the human race were raised. Now Cobras want the world back!

This is a movie about yet another attempt to take control of the planet by the evil forces of C.O.B.R.A., "a ruthless terrorist organization bent on world domination", only to be thwarted by `the real American hero's' G.I. JOE. As a die-hard fan of the cartoon series when I was younger, this movie was the end all be all for me. I felt it to be so entertaining that to this day I still remember most of the movie, which is surprising seeing as I have not seen it since its release in '87'. The thing that made this movie so entertaining is that it was a great story and it reveals so much about the characters. You get to see a JOE evolve from a "snot nose" recruit to a responsible and capable soldier in the form of Lt. Falcon. Also C.O.B.R.A.'s origins are reveled. In a subtaraininan race call Cobra-La. We also learn why and how Cobra Commander came to where his mask and hood; who inevitably gets transformed into a serpent by the same chemical that disfigured his face. The JOE's have to deal with cobra having one of there top soldiers and commanders `Duke' injured and relying on Sgt. Slaughters troops the `renegades' to help over take cobra and make them rue the day they tangled with the JOE's. This is a movie any one who was a fan of the cartoon series should see I promise you that you wont be disappointed.