Clownhouse (1989)

Very well executed

Great Film overall

It's hard to see any effort in the film. There's no comedy to speak of, no real drama and, worst of all.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

Look, we all know about Victor Salva's past by now. I don't know about you, but I have a huge disconnect in my mind between a creator's personal life and their work. I still think Jeepers Creepers is a good movie even if I'd probably spit in Victor Salva's face if I met him in real life. Clownhouse is NOT a good movie though. It's just a typical piece of 80's straight to video trash where almost nothing happens for the majority of the film and by the time things finally get moving the payoff is pathetic and just not worth it. The kids are annoying and the killers are boring and have no personality whatsoever. They're just sad, silent Michael Meyers types, but minus all the supernatural ability and creative kills. I've seen much worse, but it's just a forgettable snoozefest at best. It gets REALLY hard to maintain that previously mentioned disconnect with some of the content in this movie too. The only creepy thing that happens in Clownhouse is how many completely unnecessary scenes there are with the young boys taking off all their clothes. It really stands out because there was no need for there to be so many scenes like this that didn't even have any relation to the story at all. Looking back on it, it's actually pretty weird that no one saw this and thought something was wrong with this guy. Hell, how did the people working on the set not think something really wrong was going on too? It's certainly an unfortunate and disturbing set of circumstances and yet another good reason to not waste your time on this poor excuse for a film.

Clownhouse is absolutely terrible in virtually every conceivable facet.The writing and direction are horrible. The acting sucks. The action is pathetic. The special effects are non-existent. And the soundtrack is unbearable.The whole thing is clearly meant to be a children's film- and goes out of it's way to retain it's PG rating.The film tells the story of 3 brothers- Casey, Geoffrey & Randy- who have been left home alone shortly before Halloween. To kill some time, they decide to go to the local circus/carnival. This culminates with Casey's coulrophobia kicking in- rendering him the laughing stock of the tent.Shortly after their performance, the circus clowns get murdered by a gang of what one can only assume are escaped convicts or mental patients. And- for some odd reason- the escapees dawn clown make-up and attire...and decide to on a killing spree...ironically enough, happening upon the boys' house.The film is constructed as to lead you to believe that it may all be in Casey's head. But it's not. They are really being chased around by a bunch of killer clowns.And that's about all that happens. Clowns chasing kids with a bunch of coincidental near misses (sorry if I ruined it for you....but you aren't missing much).Anyways...the moral of the story is that you should be careful who you pick on, because when sh*t hits the fan you might be needing to rely upon said person's bravery to survive.This film simply failed to successfully execute the killer clown trope. It was really quite the chore to sit through, and wasn't very entertaining at all. Rather, quite boring. Can't say I recommend it, as there are better clown horrors floating around for you to waste your time with. Choose them instead. Sam Rockwell (who doled out the best performance of the bunch) sure does look like Gary Oldman though...holy.2 out 10.

Clownhouse (1989) * 1/2 (out of 4) Three brothers are left home alone when their mother must go out of town. That night they go to the circus even though the youngest brother has a major fear of clowns. Later that night the three brothers and especially the youngest must face their fears when three mental patients escape from a local hospital, put on clown make-up and come after them.Written and directed by Victor Salva, I'm pretty sure everyone knows the incident that happened behind the cameras so I'm not going to go into any other details about that. Outside of that, I had always heard terrific things about CLOWNHOUSE but I've obviously missed something because I found the film to be a real chore to sit through. I've heard people call this movie terrifying but perhaps that will depend on whether or not you're afraid of clowns? This movie has a good cult following to it but I will gladly admit that I'm confused as to why because I didn't find too much entertaining here.I guess the best thing that could be said about the film is that Salva manages to build up an atmosphere and make the film look quite professional when you consider the budget. I'd also say that the three young actors were good in their roles. Outside of that, as I said, I obviously missed something as I didn't find a single scare anywhere in the picture. There were some mildly effective scenes of the clowns chasing the boy down a dark road but not once did I ever feel that he was really in trouble.

I've scarcely seen many other slashers in my time that have displayed such a masterfully effective use of shadows and suspense as this one does. The picture is basically a series of various set-ups of suspenseful situations and that, coupled with the eerie ambiance is what I think it does the best and is what I love the most about it. I don't think they could get away with making movies this visually dark these days, you just don't see them anymore. This film does a lot of stuff dead right. It's scary without relying on jump scares or gory effects, with hardly a drop of blood being spilt throughout. And maybe for some people that hurts the movie but I'd personally enjoy it just as much either way. I think it brilliantly demonstrates that horror doesn't need blood in order to be effectively frightening. The theme music is very memorable, and instantly sets a distinctly strange and unsettling tone. I really believe this is as perfect a killer clown movie as there could ever possibly be, there's only so much you can do with that. Although it excellently plays off the fear of clowns, you sure as heck don't need it to be freaked out by these ones! Alright, to be fair it's only really the leader, a stony-faced fiend with a ghastly piercing expression, who has any strong sense of unnatural menace to him - which is perfectly fine, as he packs more than enough threat for all three! He's no Pennywise, but I think the man's performance makes this movie, and imbues it with the most primal fear. The other two weren't all that much at all really. The one with the pointy hat behaved as if he were a retarded person, his death brings a laugh, and the one with the purple hair was plain pathetic, looking like nothing more than a bored, spaced-out man in a clown suit whom the kids manage to defeat by bonking him over the head with a plank of wood! But that said, I did like the way the clowns never came off as silly despite being the flamboyantly colourful rainbow-haired variety. I like how, save for one maniacal laugh at the beginning, they never say a word or barely a sound, almost being like ghosts at points. And that's something really interesting that the film somewhat delves into and like what Casey says is that, it's not necessarily about clowns as such, but the idea of something twisted and evil hiding behind a false happy mask of makeup. Of course it doesn't help that these particular harlequins do have pretty scary faces! And when it's actually kids in a horror movie that are being terrorised, that's a whole different brand of terror. ::: What I liked the best about the combined performances of Winters Mchugh and Rockwell, was that although their acting wasn't perfect, I actually believed them as brothers, the brother dynamic between them was very well captured and established, as were their individual characters and places in the brotherly hierarchy. I thought the relationship between Geoffrey and Casey seemed really sweet and genuine. And Randy, while just seeming to be a threatening bully to Geoffrey, occasionally showed a softer more concerned side when it came to Casey, so he wasn't really a complete jackass. And I must say, the only thing I did dislike about this film was Nathan Forest Winters, He was way too whiny, and so mumbly with his lines that most of the time I couldn't tell a word he was saying, and to me he just made for one very poor lead. ::: I love the numerous excellent little moments throughout where a clown will dart past in the background or something, and just as someone will turn to look they'll be gone. All that stuff just greatly enriched and heightened the fearful atmosphere of dread and creepy claustrophobic feel of this classic. Like in the early scene where the maniacs have just killed the real clowns and first put on their spooky makeup. The only real colour in the shadowy room is the brilliant white of the face paint as one of them ominously smears it across his face, and it's like the donning of the warpaint! And thus truly begins the madness... And in another moment that occurs at the end of a skillfully done sequence where the boys take turns telling a scary story and get a little carried away and inadvertently attract the clowns' attention. The way the lead clown slowly turns and stares straight at Casey just as he happens to look out the window at the wrong moment is so incredibly chilling. Marked for death... And I don't know about you, but if I were to look out my window and see that in the dead of night? I dare say that would be scary as hell! The whole film is like a dream, or a nightmare. It starts slow and progresses deeper and deeper into this, almost surreal kind of madness, culminating in the surprisingly brutal axe-in-the-back grim ending. Great to watch around Halloween or just whenever you may feel like some tried and trusted, sweet old '80's frights and fun! Bye!