Hansel & Gretel (2013)

Simply Perfect

I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.

best movie i've ever seen.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

After I watched the opening sequence of the movie I thought to myself "Wow this is kind of cool." So I rushed over to IMDb, to get some more info on it. This was very hard to find, since it's under the "Video" tag. I saw 2.5 stars, and I was blown away, because even though the movie was funded by a 10 year old's piggy bank, The Cinematography, Sound Design, Score, and the general plot were all well done. This is inspiring to see how well a movie can be made for so cheap. I'll start with the pros, and end where this movie falls short. Keep an open mind when watching it.The entire modern day Hansel and Gretel premise is really unique, and it isn't some Hollywood ripoff. It's an original adaptation to the well known folktale. The settings are all creepy, and even though the witch seemed a bit young for the role, she definitely had her shining moments. Multiple times. The sound design added a great feel to the movie, and the score was very well done, keeping the pace of a good horror film.I would say that the acting was shaky, but it really wasn't. It was mostly all pretty bad. It felt like the Director casted their family members for a majority of the roles. Most of the actors/actresses looked the part, and on occasion some of them would have a moment, but the acting is something you'd have to push to the side. There were obvious plot holes, and poor attempts to make you attach yourself to a character, and learn about their "hopes and dreams" only to have that side plot of "Come on we'll get you home" end with a sudden death. I wish they expanded more on the relationship with the mother as a side plot instead of pulling time from that, to feed lines to other characters. Overall this movie I truly recommend if you're into cheap but well done indie horror films. I was a fan, and was definitely worth my time.

This movie is a waste of time, unless you have time to waste. The plot of the movie seemed good but once those D- list actors started talking, it all went down from there. The movie needed a bigger budget and better actors. We watched this on TV thinking it was the "other" Hansel & Gretel but nope we were fooled! I wonder why Netflix even has this poor movie for people to see. I'm not sure what else I can say about this movie. Maybe if your looking for some laughs and some funny memories with friends then watch it. Half the time we were laughing at the actors and how stupid they were. If you have the decency to even watch it till the end like we did you can see the stupidity of the writer. Just validated what a joke this film was!!

This "Hansel & Gretel" film has NO positive attributes. It is the worst horror film that I have witnessed in a LONG LONG time. I'm telling you, as an avid fan and (not to toot my own horn here...) and aficionado of sorts when it comes to horror, that this is pure garbage of the highest orderIt is very difficult to tell the world, "EVERYONE will enjoy this horror film!" when I love a horror film.People's tastes just differ too much. However, on this occasion, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that NO ONE will enjoy this film. It is absolutely terrible.Dee Wallace (bless her for trying) is the only part of this movie that kept me from turning it off 20 minutes into it. And I NEVER do that, certainly not with horror films. I LIKE poorly acted and cheesy horror films to an extent, but they have to have something special for me to enjoy something like that. I mean, "Friday the 13th" sequels have 90% cheese and 10% horror, yet the mystique of those victims, the reality of the violence, the care you (sometimes) incur for a character, not to mention the butch Jason himself, make me ENJOY those films. "Hansel & Gretel" has NOTHING but the lowest budget in the history of horror films (maybe other than "BTK Killer" - still the reigning champ of worst movies of all time) and that low budget combined with a complete lack of any serious plot or scary moments shines through, and makes this film unwatchable. Cringe-worthy. Even the violence sucks, folks. And when even the violence is sub-par in a horror film (WELL BELOW PAR), and there are NO redeeming qualities, it makes for an absolute embarrassment of a film. It's these types of films that give horror a bad name. This madness must stop.Dee Wallace is worth watching for about 10 minutes, but she's being directed by a director who quite literally could be a rhesus monkey, and certainly is not an "actor's director", so even her performance is greatly flawed in many areas, most likely due to the director and editing of the acting she turned in.Take an avid horror fan's word for it, and don't waste your time on this dreck. THIS FILM IS NOTHING BUT TERRIBLE!!! You've been warned.

Read the other reviews, they summarise all that is bad about this movie. Basically a waste of time and budget, B-grade horror suitable only for a late-night horror channel on TV. Not quite as bad as 'The Thing for the Black Lagoon' (but about 40 years newer) the SFX are woeful and the plot is predictable, including the punchline..... (if that is what it is supposed to be). It is what I think is called a 'cliff-hanger' - allowing you to continue the plot line later - if there is interest. In the case of this movie a sequel would be an act of insanity. Apparently I need 10 lines to submit this review so here is the tenth one.