One-Eyed Monster (2008)

Perfect cast and a good story

good back-story, and good acting

The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

ONE-EYED MONSTER is a low rent comedy horror that makes use of real-life porn-film legend, Ron Jeremy. The plot is preposterous - an alien life force comes to each and possesses Jeremy's detached penis before going on a killing spree - but the execution is surprisingly likable given the paucity of imagination and the sheer dumbness of the premise.The story template is pretty much a rip-off of Carpenter's THE THING, with characters holed up in a snowbound cabin and finding themselves bumped off one by one by an unseen premise. The special effects aren't up to much, so they're wisely left off-screen for the most part, which I think was a good idea. The humour is quite funny in places and as a whole the film is funnier than I'd expected. It's also tamer than you might think and rarely distasteful.Oddly enough, the best acting comes from the two genuine porn stars in the film, Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart. Jeremy in particular comes across as a lovable goof rather than anything else. B-movie fans will enjoy the presence of old-time cult star Charles Napier in a supporting role, although my favourite character is the geeky Ed Bryne-lookalike sound technician.

There were two scenes in the film that were funny. The first came when the *&#%^ just killed some chick by flying into her mouth. A group of the girls(remember, they're all porn stars) found her in that state ran to another cabin to tell everyone that they found a ($%#% in her mouth, and there was NO reaction. Definitely funny.The problem with this film is that there were a million jokes they could have used like the one above, but the film just isn't very funny at all. It was really difficult to get through.I was prepared for the low-budget production values, and I don't shy away from movies or dislike them for that characteristic alone, but this film just didn't capitalize on it's brilliant premise. While watching the film I was thinking of all the of ways it could have been better...unfortunately, this film is not funny enough to score any higher than this. 2, maybe 3 funny moments just doesn't fill 90 minutes. Bring in the Evil Dead bunch, re-cast Ron in his role here, maybe even add Adam Green as a director, and boost the comedy and horror aspects of this movie while still keeping it silly, and you'd have a real winner. Not funny enough to gain the cult status that the storyline led me to believe I might find.Great idea... heck, fantastic idea... poor script considering the endless possibilities. I'm no filmmaker or comedian, but even I could have made this infinitely funnier.You want a better film with a similar premise - try "Teeth" or "Chillerama(wadzilla segment)".

They are being very serious in the movie, and that just makes it all the funnier. Talking about alien dicks wouldn't be funny unless you were serious, which they were. Especially when Napier's character started talking about fighting his captain's dick in Vietnam, he killed it by using whores to have sex with it so it would have to rest. Then he through it in a bunker and tossed a grenade in, when he started talking about it raining dick I just lost it, very funny, especially the black guy and the nerd. Ron Jeremy wasn't a good part of the movie, good thing he died in the beginning. This is a good movie for someone mature who wants some laughs, there are a lot of bad b movies out there but this one is about an alien taking control of Ron Jeremy's dick, which makes it all the funnier.

Despite the surprisingly solid performances from all the cast, the script and story failed to deliver on a fresh and unique premise.The film either had a genre identity crisis or was quite simply pushed on to celluloid before the script was properly polished. It's like watching a professional crew film a first draft script.It ran the gamut between clever and stupid and often found its cruising speed on the ridiculous and mundane. A better knowledge of the initial setting would also have been helpful.I was expecting / hoping for a solid dark comedy with horror undertones, but was painfully disappointed. So many obvious comedic dialogue opportunities were missed, plot holes big enough to drive a truck through, and story choices that defied common sense, left me with the impression of a family funded backyard film project, despite the professional production values.I would recommend this film to aspiring screenwriters to see what their 1st draft scripts would look like on screen...